What a healthy marriage looks like

Into the trunk

Spy got out of his Bizzarrini and popped the trunk. Scout took in a gasping breath before he said, "What the fuck? When I asked ' can i ride with you' I meant in the front. You know, where I can fuckin' breath?" Scout jumped out and Spy shut the trunk, "You are fine. Besides, we have more pressing matters at hand." Scout folded his arms, "Snipes is probably just out bangin' some broad. He'll be back." Spy lit a cigarette and shrugged, "Even so, Miss Pauling keeps us employed. I will refer to her judgment on such matters.", "Pfft, yeah sure..." Spy just rolled his eyes, "Go ask around on the street if anyone has seen Sniper or the girl." and before Scout could protest, Spy disappeared. "What a fuckin' load of-" Scout lamented, "You know what? Whatever, I'll fuckin' find him- I'll find him first!" and he ran off. Only thirty minutes later, Spy radioed Miss Pauling saying he got something. Everyone drove over to the middling apartment complex Spy and Scout were waiting for them at. Miss Pauling dismounted her vespa and quickly walked over to them as the others trailed behind. She asked, "You sure this is the place?" Spy nodded, "I'm sure. The tenant I found was quite certain she had seen them both go to that apartment, but I think-" Scout interrupted, "Yeah right, I was the one who found her and she told me that they were both here!" Pauling nodded, "I think you were right Spy, she must have grabbed him, but why? Why would she be holding him hostage?" Spy tried to interject, "Miss Pauling I think-" but she turned and rallied her team, "Alright everyone, we don't know what kind of situation we're walking into, but be prepared. Let's go." Spy tried again, "I really don't think-" but the team was moving up the stairs, getting into place for a raid. Pauling halted them to look through the window; From her position she could see a couch in the main room on which she could just barely see the Sniper. He looked tired, almost despondent, she thought, and then from the left she caught sight of the woman from the photo holding a large knife. Oh dear God, what did she do?! With no more hesitation Pauling gave the signal. Heavy bust down the door and let the rest of them stream into the small space as she shouted, "Sniper!" The Sniper whipped his head up over the back of the couch shouting, "What?!" and from the little kitchen to their left was the woman, dressed in only a skimpy silk nightgown and an apron, who jumped, "Oh! F-friends of yours, Micky?" Sniper jumped up from the couch, shirtless, and it was clear Pauling had made a big mistake. "What the bloody hell are you doing here?!" He cried and Pauling huffed, "We were rescuing you... Better question, what are you doing here ?" Sniper scrubbed his face as if he was still figuring out if this was real or not. The woman, on the other hand, returned to the stove where something was cooking. Soldier moved behind her and shouted, "Are you the commie holding our Sniper hostage?!" She stirred the pan and said, "Uh, nope. No commies here, just some good old fashioned American cooking." She gestured to where she had been cooking as Scout trailed in, "Wow, yeah that smells good! You got any fried chicken?" He asked as he slid up beside her and looked at the in-progress spread. She responded, "Oh, well. I had planned for two, but I guess I could see what I could do for...uh- seven." From behind them in the now crowded kitchen Spy said, "Don't worry, we're not staying for dinner.", "Oh, thank God..." she said under her breath as the Pyro nudged in, looking way too interested in the gas stove. From across the room, Pauling sat on the opposite side of the couch from a very flustered Sniper "I've been trying to reach you since yesterday-", "I'm on bloody holiday! What did you expect?!" Pauling cleared her throat, "I expected you to adhere to your contract. Section 5.5 clause 3 clearly states, that 'As this position is ongoing, any break, holiday, vacation, leave, and/or liberty is subject to a temporary halt if TF Industries-", "Bloody hell! What could be so bloody important that I can't spend the weekend with my girlfriend?!" From the kitchen, Scout shouted "I knew it! Knew he had a girlfriend! But I mean, if you're ever interested in an upgrade, toots~" He winked at the women, who ignored him. Pauling shook her head, "That's not the point! The point is, I need to be able to contact you at any time, day or night. That's what we agreed to.", "It's been three bloody days! We agreed to five-", "Five days off within the perimeters of your contract! Where is your ConTracker? You're radio? A letter? Anything to tell us you would have been here?" Sniper shrugged, "Oh my bad! I must have left it because- I DIDN'T WANT YOU TO COME HERE!" Face full of food, Scout said, "Ooh, he's mad. Just wait until Miss Pauling is through with him-" Miss Pauling rubbed her temple and said, "Scout, get out.", "And miss the show? I think not-" Pauling glared at him, "Out!" and Scout sighed before turning back around, talking to Sniper's girlfriend as he grabbed another piece of food, "You know, this is great. You should come cook for me some time- whoops~" He said as he pinched her butt, trying half-heartedly to pass it off as an accident. Suddenly, She grabbed his neck and slammed it on the cutting board, digging a large knife inches away from his face, "Watch it! Or the only thing that's gonna be cooking is your head !" She let him go, but at that- everyone stopped. Everyone but Sniper, who jumped up and made his way over to her. He pulled her in by her waist and asked, "You alright, darlin'?" She leaned into him, "I'm fine-" Scout jumped out of his fear induced trace and shouted, "What about me? She tried to fuckin' kill me!" Sniper rolled his eyes, "Stop harassin' my woman and maybe she won't." From beside him, Sniper's girlfriend scoffed playfully, "Oh please, you know I wasn't actually trying to kill him," Sniper smiled, "I know, but next time he fucks with ya, please do.", "If you insist~" She giggled before Pauling cleared her throat, " Ahem - Sniper, a word. In private ." and she looked at him significantly. Seeing this, his girlfriend nodded and pulled away. Sniper turned to her, "Caroline wait, this is your home-", "It's alright Micky. It seems pretty important..." She turned off the stove before pointing a stern finger at Soldier and Pyro, "Don't touch anything. Got it?" They nodded absently and she walked to the busted front door. She looked at it for a moment, then sighed and stepped outside onto the mezzanine. She was caught off guard by Heavy who was sitting just outside, cleaning his weapon. She remarked, "Oh, another one... Well, do you mind if I join you?" Heavy looked up from Sasha, equally caught off guard, but then shrugged and went back to cleaning his minigun. She looked at it and asked, "That looks cool, what is it?"