What a healthy marriage looks like

They gotta talk about guys...

After the tedious task of cutting up all the meat to store for the ride home, they collectively decided to stay one more night before heading out in the morning. They cleaned up, ate dinner, then once it was getting late, they split ways. Caroline and Mick had laid down for the night and he was holding her in his arms. He'd picked up her hand and was brushing his thumb idly over her knuckles, but really he was looking at the scratches up her forearm. He knew it wasn't his fault, but it felt like his fault... No wonder she didn't want to have a kid with him. Caroline laced her fingers with his, "You've been quiet all evening. What's up?" Part of him wanted to tell her, but they just had that conversation last night and he didn't want her to feel like he was trying to push her. He really was fine with waiting. He was. Mick ran his hand down the scratches and asked instead, "How's your arm?", "It's all scabbed up. It'll heal quick." He nodded, "I'm sorry for not warnin' you." She flipped over to face him, "It's not your fault.", "...I know..." She giggled to herself, "It's funny how we're reversed from the other night.", "How do you mean?", "You know, the other night when I was all... all upset about last year and my father..." His focus was drawn to her arm as she continued, "and I got into that 'It's all my fault' spiral and you-", "It wasn't your fault, darlin'..." He murmured, still focusing on her arm. She raised a brow, "I know, I was just... What's wrong?" He broke his focus and looked at her, "Wrong? Nothin's wrong darlin'." She sighed and displayed her arm to him, "I'm alright. It was barely a scratch. You've definitely done better than that." He took her arm and moved it around to look closer. She was right, still- he felt gross inside as he looked at it. Regardless, he just nodded and let go of her arm in favor of running his hand over her skin, more as a comfort to himself than anything else. Caroline smiled softly at him and tried a different approach, "It's alright. I'm alright. You cleaned me up all nice- fixed me up all good, and I'm okay. You make a wonderful nurse, you know that?" He nodded hesitantly and she leaned in, kissing him. They broke and she asked, "Okay, seriously, what's wrong?", "Nothin', darlin'." He went to kiss her again and she pulled back, "Why are you trying to distract me, then?", "...I just wanted to kiss you." She held his face in her hands and asked again, "Micky, what's wrong? You can tell me..." He knew that. He knew and still the words hid behind that gross feeling. That fear, that shame, the shit he knew she'd accept wholesale but he still worried about. It was one thing to praise his wife about how she made the hard shit easy, and she did, but that didn't stop them from being hard on his end. She brushed his cheek, "Please tell me, I'd like to know." He took a deep breath and rested his head on her chest, pulling her closer, "It's... I know it's not dumb, but it feels dumb. I just- I guess..." She ran her hands through his hair, waiting patiently as he gathered up the courage to say what he needed to say. "I... Okay, I know- I know you ain't ready for kids and I completely respect that. I don't have a problem waiting at all... and also... Could you tell me why?" She paused, "...I don't know. I just don't feel ready.", "Is it because of me?", "What? No! Micky, is that what you think?" He shrugged, holding her tighter, "I know- I know we don't have jobs right now, and- and we gotta figure that out first, but then today I just let you reach into a- bloody bramble bush and it was like- Maybe you know somethin' I don't? Maybe I wouldn't be as good a dad as I thought..." She held him back to look in his face and said frantically, "No! No, no, Micky, no! I'm not ready for kids because I don't think I'd be a good mom. I have no doubts in my mind that you would make a fantastic father." He looked up at her, "You don't think you'd be a good mum?" She looked away, "Eh, kinda? No- But that just goes back to our conversation last night: 'I don't think I'd be a good mom.', 'You'd be a great mom!', 'I'm not good with kids!', 'You'd be great with kids!'- Round in circles.", "...You really don't think you'd be a good mum?" She ran a hand over her face, "It's... I don't know. The only real example I have is Heidi and you remember her... I just- I just keep remembering how I felt growing up and... a-and I don't want my kid to feel that, you know?" Now Mick held her face, "You're not your aunt, darlin'. You would never treat anyone like that.", "Not on purpose, but how do you know I won't accidentally lash out or yell or- or...", "Because I know you.", "But I've even shouted at you before-", "and when you realized, you pulled back, reflected, and then apologized. Same thing applies.", "But what if I traumatize them?" He paused, thinking about how to respond to that, "Darlin', sometimes we hurt the ones we love, and sometimes the ones we love hurt us, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't try, that's life. We get hurt, we recover, we learn, we grow, we get hurt again. The good and the bad come together." She thought about that, then sighed, pulling his hand into hers and lacing their fingers together. He brought their intertwined hands to his mouth and kissed her knuckles, "Like I said, darlin', I'll wait for as long as you need me to. I'm a patient man. At the same time you wouldn't have to do it alone. I'd be right there with you every step of the way." She smiled despite herself and kissed his hand, "I know. I know you would. You're a great husband and you'd make a great father." He nodded, then seeing the opportunity, he smiled playfully at her, "That a fact?" She shrugged with a smile of her own, "More a matter of opinion." He got over her and leaned down to murmur in her ear, "You sure about that?", "Mm... Maybe I could do with some convincing." He kissed her jaw, then down her neck before saying, "You're fuckin' gorgeous, love, and you'd make an amazing mother- Uh, one day. When you're ready." She nodded, then she pushed on his head, "Alright, enough with the mushy stuff, back to the convincing." He chuckled, pressing kisses down her body.