What a healthy marriage looks like

Get ready for a ride...

Click. "Damn it Sniper!" Pauling raged at the telephone in her hand. She'd known this vacation was a bad idea, but now he was practically AWOL! While riding on her vespa, she dialed up her ConTracker and waited for a response. She made it all the way to the spot where Sniper's Landrover was parked before he picked up, "Yes? What is it?", "Spy, Sniper's gone. I can't find him and I've got a contract for him...", "Miss Pauling, Sniper is on leave..." Pauling scoffed, "He's had his leave, he should be back by now-", "Miss Pauling, it has been three days.", "I know! And I can't find him- UGH! He's not here.", "Not where?" Pauling put down her binoculars, "He's not home.", "...Miss Pauling-", "Your contracts clearly state that even on leave you must make yourself available within a moment's notice. How can he not be home! Where else would he be!" Spy sighed on the other end, "Have you tried-", " All the bars in and around this area, not just his favorites. He's not at his parents, and his van is parked here. So, where the hell is he, Spy?", "... Have you considered the possibility he might be somewhere he does not wish to be disturbed?", "I checked local hotels too, and non-local ones, and the motels, the rat-runners, the inns, and everywhere else and I can't find him! Ooh, the administrator might actually kill me this time-", "Calm down, are you sure he is not home?" Pauling peered through the binoculars again and replied, "I'm sure, I'm looking right at it- wait...I can see his ConTracker on the table, and I think... I think I see his rifle. Spy, could you-", "I'm on my way." And the connection terminated. Pauling did her best to scope through the windows with her limited vantage point but saw nothing else, "Damn it!" She mumbled to herself, "I can't believe he'd just run off like that-!", "He could have been kidnapped." Pauling whipped around as Spy materialized in front of her. Once what he said registered, she looked back at the camper, "... I- I didn't think of that... But he's a sniper- how could anyone sneak up on him?", "You have too much faith in his abilities." Spy said as he waltzed over to the Landrover. It was a pretty shabby thing and Pauling had no idea how Sniper could live in it, but evidently he wasn't at the moment. It didn't take any time at all for Spy to pick open the door and they were in. "What a mess..." He said as he stepped inside, and it was. Stuff was scattered everywhere, Sniper's ConTracker was lying on the table with a radio and other personal effects, and it was indeed his rifle that sat in the seat on the wall. "I think you might be right," Pauling said as she looked around. Spy picked up a photo from the table and replied, "I'm not so sure," he showed it to her. It was a picture of a woman. Pauling adjusted her glasses as she said, "You think it was a hit gone bad?" Spy raised an eyebrow, but didn't counter her. He just said, "I think our best bet at finding our Sniper is to find this woman." Pauling nodded but before she could respond a voice behind them said, "I thought we was findin' Sniper, not chasin' some tail." They both turned to see Scout, and behind him, Heavy, Solider, and Pyro. Paulin's eyes went wide, "H-How did you know?" Heavy said, "I hear you and Spy. You say Sniper is gone, we help." Scout pipped in, "Yeah, anything for you, Miss Pauling!" She would have been touched, but he flexed and the moment was gone. She said anyway, "Well, thanks guys. Let's split up and start looking for him- him or her," She took the photo from Spy and showed it around as Spy interjected, "Perhaps a smaller group would be better-", "She's hot. Is that Sniper's girlfriend or smthin'?" Pauling rolled her eyes, "Sniper doesn't have a girlfriend, we think this might have been his last mark before he went missing." As they exited the Landrover, Scout said, "Wasn't he on vacation? I think that's the worst way to disappear, or the best I can't decide- H-hey Miss Pauling! Can I ride with you?" He approached her as she revved up the engine on her vespa. She responded simply, "No." before driving off. "Uh, okay! Nice to uh-talking to you... Hey Spy!", "No." Spy said as he walked over to his Bizzarrini. "Aw, come on! It's a sick ride!", "Exactly, so I don't want your greasy fingers mucking it up!", "Come on, please! I won't touch nothin', I promise!", "Why do I not believe that?", "Please?", "No." Just then, the Heavy drove the sword van off with Soldier and Pyro hollering out the back, leaving Scout behind. "...Please?" Spy gave Scout a long look, before sighing, "Fine... Here, let me get the door for you..."