Tales from the archive

Your regularly scheduled tomfoolery

(Some of the this May or may not be canon to my AU, the commercials are definitely not canon but whatever....this is just some terrible things I wrote as filler.)

Walking across the desert is a 15 year old boy with his bike and also the murder cube with inexplicable powers that is now disguised as a young girl with uncanny features. "Maaxxx, are we there yet?" The girl asked like an inpatient child. "No, you asked that 15 times for the past 5 minutes. Does it look like we are there?" Max answered, clearly annoyed by the girl's questions. Max looks a bit tired with some dry blood in his head and his cracked orange goggles. Wounds he acquired from the girl hours earlier. "IC-0n, if you're going to ask that one more time. The answer is no." Max said knowing IC-0n will repeat the question. IC-0n crossed her arms and faced away from Max. "Hmph. I can't wait until this probabilistic power dynamic is dealt with so I can consume your heart tissue to power my battery." IC-0n giggling while she said it. Max just looked at her with a tired look but continued walking. There was silence between the two.....until "Are we there yet?" IC-0n asks, Max groaning in repose.

[We will return to your usual programming after these messages....]

"Need to improve your house? Have a disappointing failure of a daughter? Killed someone with a wrench?"

"Don't worry. Get a door!"

"I'm Kahn Doorman, I build doors and have a passion for doors. Call me and purchase a door now!" Khan said while showing off multiple doors. "Doors are my real daughter." Khan said while carcassing a large blast door.

"But wait! If you call now you can get 2 doors for only $149.99! Yes, that is $149.99!"

"Don't miss this sweet deal...... .who wrote the script?" Khan asks someone off screen.

"You did sir." Someone off screen answered. "Fair enough." Khan said while shrugging.

"Don't forget to call for a door now!" Khan said as text scroll in a blue bar at the bottom of the screen.

The commercial ends

A kid is standing outside in a suburban neighborhood. The Aerialbots Fly across the sky. "Jet formation!" The kid shouts.

"Jet transformation" Silverbolt says as he transforms and lands near the kid.

Transformers!

Rap music play as footage of the Aerialbots toys are shown.

The Aerialbots are taking their shot, Silverbolt's blasting the COMBATICONS! They can all c-c-change and be rearranged, to form the super robot, SUPERION!

The rap continues as the text "COMBATICONS" is flashing on the screen.

The music plays as it shows footage of the Combaticons.

The Combaticons are WARRING! Onslaught is ROARING! He is one metamorphing DUDICUS! They all combine and kick Superion's behind as the big bad battling BRUTICUS!

Robots in disguise!

"That was brutal" the kid says as Bruticus is formed and starts attacking Superion. Superion picks the kid up and gets him out the street as he clashes with Bruticus. "No that's Bruticus" Superion corrects as he fights with Bruticus.

Transformers Generation 2 Aerialbots and Combaticons; each sold separately.

[we now return to our regularly scheduled programming]

Skywarp teleports behind Sunstorm and pushes off a flight of stairs. Skywarps laughs at Sunstorm. "Oh brilliant and humorous practical joke. It's an honor to participate in such a great prank from a brilliant bot such as yourself." Sunstorm said when he made it to the bottom of the stairs. Skywarp smirks and teleports away.

[Transition screen]

"J, I'm borrrreeddd." V said while poking J's head. J is annoyed by V's poking and grabs the hand V was using to poke her. "Shut up, you're acting like a child. How about you do your job and hunt some workers." J's visor showed an angry look and J glared at V. V pulls her hand away from J and files off to hunt some workers.

N and E went on their own again and just looked around for either workers to kill or just anything to entertain them. "Oh look at that thing." E excitedly points at a multi colored cube that has a 3 x 3 grid on each side. "What is it?" N asked, curious about the strange cube. "I don't know......should we go back to the pod?" E asks, N nods and they both fly to the spire while holding the plastic cube.

When they got back they witnessed J banging her head against the pod. "Why am I stuck with a team full of idiots? N is useless and terrible and does a terrible job. And V is annoying and childish but at least she is good at her job. And—" "Uh J? Are you okay?" N asked, concerned with J's health. "Shut the fuck up N!" J angrily snapped. She just walks past N and E and flies outside. E and N stood in silence. "Uhh want to play with his cube?" E asked N who was confused by J's reaction. "Sure. Let's figure this out!" N excitedly replied with his tail wagging in excitement.

Author note:

Anyways....I released this one today because I didn't feel like making revisions and maybe rewriting the one I was going to release today.