Back To December

11.

I open my front door and smile when the big loveable pup meets me and jumps on me. My mum suggested we adopt a dog shortly after school started. She claimed I was lonely and needed a friend. I didn't think so considering I had Liam, Zayne, Niall, and now Ed. Regardless we went to the shelter and I fell in love with the Australian cattle dog. He is about a year old and I named him Hurley, like the skateboard company. He's definitely a one person dog. He loves me and my mum but he doesn't always listen to her. He tolerates the boys and they can pet him but sometimes he gives them the biggest side eye in history. Above all Hurley hates Ed. I don't know why but he always barks, growls, and chases him to his car or even the tree in my backyard.

"Oi! Harry get him!" I turn around and watch as Ed tries to come in the front door.

"Hurley. Come." I call my best furry friend.

He comes and lays down next to the couch. Ed walks in slowly and comes to stand with me at the bar in the kitchen.

"Harry I swear your dog wants to kill me."

I laugh. "Nah he's just quirky. He'll come around. Coke?"

He nods. "So Christmas break is coming up." I roll my eyes as I get the cokes from the fridge. "I figured we could make it official before the break."

I pass him his coke. This is what I was afraid of. For the past 4 months things have gotten better. For the first month I did nothing but cry and text Louis, he never answered. The next month I bonded with my new dog, trained him, took him for walks, got my grades up and started hanging out with my friends again. From the beginning of the school year Ed started wanting to go out so we did. It felt routine and nice. It was also a nice distraction to keep my mind away from a certain blue eyed boy.

I realized the pain Louis left behind hurt less with Ed around. I wasn't sure what I felt for him. He's cute and funny and smart and any guy would be lucky but there was something missing. He'd always drive me to school and back home after. There were some heated kisses and he kept the bed warm a few nights. We hadn't had sex but there were sleep overs and we did oral stuff. I was always the one to stop when he wanted to go farther.

"Harry? Did you hear me?"

"Hmm?" I look up at him.

He shakes his head  and comes to stand between my legs. I open them and put my hands on his waist as he puts his around my neck.

"I was saying maybe I could call you my boyfriend now."

He's giving me that smile, the one that I suppose would bring others to their knees and have them giggling, it just makes me feel awkward.

"Aren't you happy Ed?"

"Yeah." He sighs. "I'm happy it's just been months and I thought we'd be more than friends with benefits."

Those three words hit me harder than he knew. I drop my hands. "I'm sorry Ed. This is all I can do right now. I want to be able to give you more but..."

"Unbelievable." He scoffs running his hands through his hair. "I'm good enough to suck you off and take you on dates and sleep over but not fuck or call your boyfriend." His voice is rising. I just sit in silence. "I don't know who hurt you and I'd probably hit them repeatedly if I ever find out."

"It's not him." I whisper the words.

"But it is." He steps back to me and looks in my eyes. "We can never go out on Fridays. We have to go to the movie theater farthest from here. You never order skittles or popcorn. I tried to sneak in the window once and you had a fucking panic attack."

"No one comes through the window." Well only one person does. He's not here though.

"Yeah that's what Liam said." He growls. "You all are hiding something. You won't talk about who hurt you. Your friends look at you like your a bomb waiting to go off. Your mum doesn't even fully acknowledge me or like me. I swear sometimes you tune me out and just let me go on and on thinking it'll all be fine and we'll go back to sucking each other off and shit after."