Back To December

13.

"Ugh." I groan rolling over.

I wish the pounding in my head would stop. Why won't it stop? I grab my pillow and put it over my head.

"Mm give it back."

I jump up at the voice. Louis. I look down and he's pulling my blanket over his head cuddling into the pillow I just took. Why...

"Fuck." I collapse back down on my bed.

Louis was going to punch Ed. Drinking at Niall's. Louis came and got me. Kissing. Groping. Words were exchanged. We slept together obviously.

"Can we sleep for like 10 more minutes before you freak out?" He smirks at me wrapping his arm around my waist and pulling me back onto the bed.

"I'm not..." I'm cut off when he kisses my lips.

"Okay and we're up apparently."

I sigh. How did I let this happen? Louis is going to community college. He has an apartment. He's turning 18 in one week. He's just here on winter break. He's going to leave again.

"Haz. No regrets." He rubs his nose against mine.

"Not about last night. It was a good way to say goodbye." I stand up and walk into the bathroom.

"Goodbye?" I turn on the water and face him. He's standing in the doorway blocking it.

"You'll leave again. You'll leave with her."

He runs his hand through his hair. "Shower and I'm going to go make breakfast. We'll talk then."

I watch him walk out. I scoff thinking that's what he's best at. Deflecting. Avoiding. The warm water helps calm my thoughts but only temporarily. I rush through it because ever nerve in my body is telling me to go out there, throw him in my bed and never let him leave. I run the towel over my hair and then wrap it around my waist after drying off. After choosing a pair of clean boxers and a pair of Louis old basketball shorts I leave the room.

I smirk knowing he won't be able to concentrate since I didn't put a shirt on. I swallow the lump in my throat seeing him in my kitchen. The way his boxers hang on his hips. The way his back muscles move when he flips the bacon. There's red scratches on his back and I know who left them there. I sit down at the bar and keep watching him.

"Definitely left your mark. In more ways than one." He turns and looks at me.

"I could say the same."

He places the food on plates and sets on in front of me. He doesn't come to sit next to me, he leans against the counter and eats. He seems distant from the way he was earlier.

BUZZ! BUZZ!

I look down at my phone vibrating on the bar. How did it get there? Wasn't it in my jeans? I look around the kitchen and hallway noticing that someone had cleaned up our clothes.

"Better answer that." Louis says as it vibrates again.

"It's just a text."

"Mmm." He mutters shoving scrambled eggs in his mouth. "Ed innit?"

"He can wait."

"Do you like him?"

I look up at him. He looks sad and hurt. "I don't know." I answer honestly.  "I don't know what I feel for him. I clung to him after you left but I also wouldn't let him in because I was afraid of getting hurt."

He nods just once. "We're back to that then." He turns and washes his plate. "Louis greatest hits. Let's name all the ways Louis fucked up now."

"Where is this coming from Lou? You were fine before my shower."