fever | ateez lore story

CH 7

•san•

I'm so immersed into the vibes and energy of the song that I don't realise the others staring at me.

"W-why are you all staring at me like that?" I question, nervously glancing at each of them and giggling.

"Nothing. We just hope you like your present." Seonghwa says with a wide smile on his face, bobbing his head up and down to the song.

Celebrate for you
Celebrate for you, yeah
How do you feel when you face the mirror?
Congratulations for being born as you
Celebrate for you, Celebrate for you, you, you, you
For being born and living as you
We celebrate, we celebrate for you

I can feel my eyes well with loved tears, threatening to fall. I don't hold back, and I just let them stream down my face, the affection overflowing, and I can feel myself convulse from overwhelming emotions.

Never have I ever experienced this before. I mean, I have at home, with my grandparents and sister. My parents were usually at work, and I don't hold it against them. They needed to work for us anyway, and at least I had my grandparents. But, receiving something like this from friends, I haven't had it before. The effort they went through to create, produce, and record this for my birthday...I'm speechless.

"Aw San's crying!" Wooyoung teases, launching himself around my shoulders. I choke back a sob, laughing as I quickly dry my face with my hand, sniffing stupidly, knowing I can't hide how pathetic I cry. I continue listening with my eyes closed, basking in the love and joy behind the boys' singing voice. My eyes flicker open the minute I hear a sudden high note, recognising the only culprit behind the surprise.

"Woah~" I sigh, slowly turning my head to look at Jongho, his  gummy smile beginning to appear.

-"That was amazing, Jongho!"

"What can I say? I'm just full of surprises." He teases.

"That's so cringe." Mingi mumbles, a laugh following shortly after.

Soon the song ends, and I'm left with a damp face and a crowd of love. The feeling I feel now, it's so foreign to me. I haven't felt like this in so long; feeling stable.

"Thank you." I mumble, ultimately speechless after the gift they gave to me. Hongjoong's arm snakes around my shoulders, his warmth radiating onto me. I can feel the affection in the room. It covers me like a blanket.

"Happy birthday, San." He says, everyone echoing the same greeting to me. I smile silly, my laugh weakening as I sob more and more. I can't help it, I'm so overwhelmed, I don't know what else to do. So I just...cry.

"Anyone got a tissue?" I hear Yeosang ask, and before I know it, he's patting my face dry, his kind and innocent face glowing in front of me. Suddenly, they huddle back in for anther hug, this one feeling tighter and warmer, as if the first one wasn't enough.

"This is the best gift. I can't thank you enough." I say, still unable to find the words to express my feelings. I've always struggled with this - I can never say how I feel. But, it feels slightly easier now that I met these guys.

"It's nothing. We just wanted to say thank you for being born." Yunho responds, ruffling my hair between his fingers.

'Thank you for being born'. No compliment has ever had the impact on me the way this one did.

Thank you for being born. I like it.

Jongho comes round from behind the couch with a beautiful, purple cake in his hands, my favourite colour, the flame of the candle dancing as they sing happy birthday. I can't help but laugh at the disorganised "happy birthday dear San", with mixtures of "San", "San-ah", "Sannie" or "Sanjook" being sung between them. It's chaotic in an adoring way.

Jongho bends down slightly and holds the cake in front of me, the candles creating a soft glow in the room that starts to darken as the sun begins to falls asleep. I close my eyes, not wanting this moment to end. My head racks with wishes before settling onto one. I peel my eyes open and blow out the candles, knowing my wish has already been fulfilled.

"What did you wish for?" Mingi asks, curiosity flooding his voice. He suddenly gets a whack from Seonghwa, Mingi clutching the back of his neck in surprise.

"You're not supposed to know, dummy." He scolds, apologetically rubbing Mingi's neck in return.

My wish? All my life I wished for friends who will stay as friends and not as memories. Ever since I moved here, my wish has been fulfilled. I can't ask for anything else.

Thank you guys for being born.