Loving you for real (Kudo Shinichi/ Edogawa Conan x reader)

Chapter 8

Warning: mention of blood and death. Skip to ************ if you wish to skip it.

What seemed to surround me was an empty black void as I glided around the space. But then I pause, trying to comprehend why a wet liquid is seeping into my shoes and soaking my socks - silently clinging to me and crawling up my skin while creating a puddle under my foot. It's warm.

Then, a pungent odour consumes the room, and I immediately pinch my nose. It's an overpowering stench, shutting my mind off and blurring my vision.

I look down.

It's blood.

My eyes instantly snap open; I slip and fall into a puddle of gore. It seeps into the hem of my skirt and dyes my clothes red. Bloody red.

I tremble at the sight, gasping for air, helplessly allowing my tears to overflow, staring at a blurring image of blood.

Then I feel a touch. My hand. Someone touched my hand.

I whimper and slowly turn my body, shaking vigorously in fear. It's warm.

From the corner of my eye, I can make out a pale, bloody hand clutching mine.

I scream.

************

"(Y/N)!"

Then I blink.

And suddenly the world is filled with colours, painting a bedroom.

"(Y/N)!"

I shudder and look up to see Conan giving me a concerned frown. But that's the last thing on my mind as glossy tears rush down my cheeks. Everything’s a blur. I can't breathe.

Desperate attempts to breathe in and out repetitively isn’t enough. But doing that hurts; my chest hurts.

I hear some form of mumbling that can't be comprehended, so I pitifully sob until my eyes sting and I’m exhausted.

And eventually, I calm down.

"Do you feel better?" He looks at me worriedly, rubbing my back in circles for my relief.

I weakly nod, too drained to answer with coherent words. A glance at the clock on the wall tires me: It's 5 am.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Conan asks, inspecting my tired face, and I notice the way he gently rubs the top of my hand with his thumb to calm me down.

I hesitated before looking away: "It was a nightmare… I felt a deceased body in this black void."

A gentle wavering sigh escapes my chapped lips as my eyes flutter in an attempt to reduce the stinging pain in my eye. It was a struggle trying to stare blankly at anything but him, ashamed about my mess of a state.

But most importantly, it was the fear that he could be pitying me. Just imagining tense furrowed brows, lowered lips, and heartfelt eyes made the inside of my throat urge a vomit.

My mind drifted off to old unforgettable trauma; a scar that still stings; an image of a pitiful expression from my friend's mother when they realised that my parents forgot to pick me up from a playdate back when I was 10.

I watch him let go of my hand and wrap his arms around me; a wave of comfort relaxes my tense muscles. My heart pounds loudly against my chest as my stomach twists and turns like the crashing waves of an ocean. However, my heart feels light, and my drained body melts into his embrace. I feel safe.

"Don't worry. It was just a dream!" He says nonchalantly, probably unfamiliar with comforting a terrified girl.

I pull myself away from the embrace, witnessing a cheeky grin from him.

"Do you feel a bit better?" He asks.

I smile. "Yeah."

Now, with a steady heart, I take in the surroundings and notice that Ran's not there.

"She's calling Kudo Shinichi." He replies before I can question her behaviour. I notice a glimpse of depression that shines in his eyes from the nightlight that seeps between two curtains that fail to completely cover the window. "I can't answer because I ran out of battery."

For the first time, I see him with a sheepish, regretful, fake smile that fails to make his disappointment and self shame. Oh, right. He loves her.

"I'm sure that she'll understand..?" I awkwardly suggest.

Even if he smiles and nods at my words, the pain in his eyes doesn't fade away. He's not only the confident main character. He's also human.

I flinch at my own thoughts and snap myself back to reality. He's a character.

A light creak from a wooden door reveals a solemn Ran, returning to her bed. She notices us and asks us why we are up, suggesting we sleep as it is far too early. So, alas, I finally got the courage to lie back down and try to sleep.

The slightest trace of his skin grazing mine wakes me up and shortens my breath. I swear I held his hand just fine earlier. I swear we even hugged. I groan.

This isn't fair.

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