Friends Again?

Chapter 1

3 am again... My thoughts rushing.... Fat son of bitch you don't deserve to be here... I have the blade in my hand twirling it around tempting to listen to the voice inside my head or to ignore it. Tomorrow will be awful as I will have to eat so I have been fasting for a day on water and tea. Not good kinds of tea the shit that makes you clear of sins and toxins. Ew food. I have to pee but that makes me think I could get rid of some water weight by throwing up the water I have had in my system. But then my parents would think I'm sick again for the third time this week ~ six weeks earlier~ I met Ana +Bulimia for the second time~ I didn't feel good haven't for a week feeling like throwing up I didn't know she and he were coming back. Yes I thought of bulimia of a guy and he goes hand in hand with Ana. Sometimes I call him Bully. But I don't think anyone else does. But everyone else suffering from Ana calls her that. I asked to go to the bathroom because the nurse has been no help for me she says that I don't have a fever get back to class or she's says nothing but just ships me back to class. She's a bitch. So I go to the bathroom and try to splash my face instead running in a stall and throwing up my lunch breakfast and just continuing I filled my stomach too much but I knew what was going to happen next I was going to start looking in the
Mirror and not liking what I saw. I broke my hand and mirrors in my house so I couldn't look but when I got better or what I thought was better i let one back in. It was hidden but I would do my makeup everyday even when I was sick I would bring up enough effort to attempt to do that. ~ I got up to pee I told my mom as she got up thinking I was sick again. She believed me. But she made me eat she said she hasn't seen any of my favorite food gone when that's all I was eating. I told her I must not of seen it all I was eating was my noodles with flavor packet and water. At least some of it was true. She waddled back to sleep with her pregnant belly she slept in the other room because her boyfriend would wake her up as he came home at 130 -2 am they had been together for 3 years and he told me he had plans for them to get married he just wanted to wait for the baby to be old enough to walk down the aisle. Cute right? Sure if you weren't me. I hated this guy. He raped me I was surprised I wasn't pregnant. The last attack was right after he knocked up my mom . I think he might have stopped but you never knew it all depended on if he was drunk. He was a sound sleeper and he was sleping now so he wouldn't care about me being sick. Finally .