Unexpected love | Lewis Hamilton

T W E N T Y T W O

' asking for help isn't a weakness, sometimes it's for the better to ask for help when you need it '

I was at the party doing my normal stuff and I'd earlier taken some pills from Anthony and I'd drank a lot but I went over to Anthony, pulled him from the dance floor and we went into a more private place where he then gave me some more pills then I said my thank you and was on my way once again. I had no idea Daniel or max was even at the party but then after I came out from the private room I saw them standing there and Daniel looked like he was sad and I didn't even stop there to wait for them, I just went to the dance floor instead.

After dancing for a little while I felt Daniel and max pull me from the dance floor and started to drag me somewhere private but I refused.

' what Danny! ' I said angrily.

' come Anastasia, don't fight me on this please '

I just looked Daniel in the eyes with some hatred I hadn't felt in months, not at anyone but right now I was honestly just angry at everyone I knew. Without any good reason I might've added, it just kind of annoyed me just looking at anyone who knew me.

I pulled my arm from his grip and I walked away to go and continue the party.

— — — —

I sat in the paddock with the biggest migraine ever, that migraine only got worse when I saw Nora and Lewis walking in the paddock with Nora being all over Lewis.

It disgusted me to see them together, although I hated to admit it. It actually did, I wanted to be happy for them and just move on because that relationship wasn't real from the start but it didn't matter how much I tried, I could never succeed to be happy for them without either breaking down crying or getting filled with rage. It sounded so stupid, it was stupid in all honestly. Why did I have to feel this way?? I never liked the guy in the first place so why do I care so much about him and why do I get so sad at seeing him with another woman.

Unfortunately for me as I sat there Nora came running up to me, as she started talking to me I had the sudden urge to throw something in her head.

Random I know, but the thought of it made me feel better somehow.

Although, unfortunately, I knew I couldn't do that in real life because well obviously I didn't wanna be that kind of person but just imagining myself doing it in my thoughts somehow made it better. Her face made me want to punch it, well I'd never really liked Nora anyway. She was my sisters best friend, her selfish best friend because as long as I'd known Nora she'd always just cared about herself and not cared one single bit about my sister. But hey! It was my sisters friends and my sisters life so she could have fake people if she wanted, I didn't give a single flying fuck. But her friend didn't have to act all nice In in front of me at least, then if they wanted to act all nice to my family. Do that! I don't give a single flying fuck. Just don't do it to me, especially not Nora.

Much to my luck though my fathers assistant came and said he waited for me in his office just when Nora was ranting about something I didn't even listen to, I just stood up and started walking without saying anything.

' I have to go too, because well I actually have a life with Lewis outside whatever your doing now again '

' good catching up Nora! ' I added as I walked away.

As I got into my fathers office I saw him sitting down in his chair looking rather concerned, I sat down slowly in a chair in-front of him and for a moment I didn't know what to say. He'd never looked that concentrated / serious in a very long time, what had happened now.

As we sat there in silence he took a deep breath before he looked at me, took my hand and spoke.

' Anastasia, I know you've relapsed in your drug and alcohol addiction '

My whole world crumbled down once again.

The one person I never wanted to find out I'd relapsed just did, I don't know for how long he's known but I didn't want him to know because I didn't want to be a failure again in his eyes. I didn't want to be a fucking messed up person, but here I was and there was nothing I could do to be any less of a fucked up person. Especially not in his eyes.

I just stood up and ran away from there, I didn't want to have this conversation again.

Why? Because then it would really be real this time, Lewis and I's break up would be real, my feelings would be real, everything would be real then.

However as I'd just gotten out of the Red Bull garage I ran into my mother who was walking with Daniel and max and I fell to the ground, I looked up at her and her worried face.

' Anastasia my baby, what's wrong ' my mother asked with her sweet voice.

I broke down as she immediately hugged me and stroked my hair, I could hear my father coming running after me and then feel how he sat down on the ground with me and my mother just being there. They both didn't talk but I could feel how they looked at each other with worry in their eyes, gosh this is what I hated the most about people knowing. The worried faces, I didn't want that, I didn't want people feeling sorry for me. I didn't want people thinking ' oh poor little messed up girl ' I actually didn't.

' mom, I'm not okay, I'm actually far away from okay ' I said still crying.

' it's okay baby, both me and your father is here now alright? ' she said still holding me in her arms.

' no mom it's not okay, I need help I really do, I don't wanna feel like this and I don't wanna escape from it anymore '

I was about to continue but my mother talked.

' because it only gets worse the longer we wait, I know baby ' she said.

' me and your father will get you help, alright?? '
she said pulling me away looking at me.

' okay ' I said with a slight smile.

My dad just took me in his arms too and held me tight before he went to make a phone call and I was left with my mom, Daniel and max. My mom and I eventually had to get up from the ground so Daniel and max both helped us up.

I smiled at my mom as she went to my dad to talk some with him, this was the first time my parents had seen each other in I don't know how many years. I was happy to see them together, although of the circumstances it was good seeing them together. Not as a married couple but as co parents, I loved my step mom Geri and my step dad Thomas but I loved seeing my parents co parents as well. As a kid I hated the fact my parents couldn't be together but now when I'd gotten older I knew it was for the better of them both they'd separated.

' why didn't you ask for help? ' Daniel asked.

' sometimes it's easier to pretend your problems don't exist rather than facing them ' i answered.

Max hugged me with Daniel joining the hug not shortly after.

' I'll miss you but promise to call me from rehab '

' I promise I will keep contact with you both Daniel ' I said laughing as I hugged them both again.

' I'm gonna miss the Red Bull trio ' max said with tears in his eyes.

' me too, me too max, but we'll be back before we nor anyone else will know it ' I said also with tears in my eyes.

' sometimes it's easier to avoid the people who know you and go towards the people who know nothing about you, in that way you can pretend all of your problems and the people who know about it doesn't exist. '