The Love We Failed To Unfold [COMPLETED]

Chapter 15

"Mom? Can I go back to England?"

Mom was shocked the moment I opened my mouth. I know she will be. Because it is so rare that asking about going back to England come from my own mouth when all I was complaining before was Ms. Peters nagging me about going back for my internship but I always decline.

But now it was my turn to suggest.

"Can I go back?" I repeated.

"Why so sudden Becky? W-why? There's still loads of your works going on right? Do you think you can do both your internship and your work at the same time? I don't want you to overstressed just because of that. If you wanna go back to England I want you to study and study alone, not study and work. We're not on the edge of poverty Becky."

"I know Mom. And I can assure you I can do both my internship and my work as an actress. I can multitask both of them with proper time management and balancing. I know how to handle it. Just please let me go back home."

"But this is home Bec... You are home."

"Mom-"

"Becky why do you want to go back? I know there's a deeper reason why you suddenly want to go back. Now tell me what is it."

"Mom it's no-"

"Rebecca."

Mom's stern voice made me look down on my hands. I know she's starting to get annoyed with all my excuses. The safe word is REBECCA. And once she called me that I know she is not goofing around.

"Why Becky?" She held my hands in between hers making me stop fidgeting. "Don't think I am mad baby. I'm just concern about you. Your being secretive and distant and that is so not you. Now tell me what's the matter. Why do you wanna go back home?"

"I wanted escape mom."

On tear roll down my cheek.

" I wanna run away. I wanna disappear and go to a place where no one knows me, where no one knows my name, where no one knows who Rebecca Patricia Armstrong is. I wanted to disappear and live life in peace. Away from the hates, from the toxic society, and away from the people who doesn't see the value in me. I wanted to run from this heartache mom. It's too much, it's too painful. " I started as I suppress the pain and the tears inside. I don't want mom to see me this vulnerable.

"I wanted to run way from everything. From Freen, from the fans, from everyone who knows me. I just wanted to have a peaceful life where pain and happiness is balance. Where joy and sadness is in it's perfect combination of both. It's killing me seeing Freen with Seng, but I am also not selfish enough to not let her be with Seng. If her happiness is him then who am I to opposed mom? Who am I to go against it? Who am I to go after them? Freen love Seng, and no matter what I do I don't have a chance. Not even a single percent."

"Did she clarified things to you? Did she told you, there's no chance between the both of you?"

I shook my head.

"Then there's still a possibility dear. I am not telling you to snatch Freen away from Seng because I didn't raise you to be that kind of a person. What I am trying to imply here is do not believe any of your doubts unless it is justified or else it will hurt yourself. Your assumptions will hurt you."

I sob silently and mom pulled me into her embrace.

"Sometimes the most cruel way of getting hurt is by falling inlove. Sometimes we love someone in the wrong time, sometimes someone love us but we don't love them the way they deserve to be love, and sometimes we love those people who is also not inlove with us. It's a win-win situation, not all the time you will be the main character of the story, sometimes you'll just be the cover up page that is needed to flipped to be able to see who really is the protagonist and of who really the story flows. Falling inlove is the best feeling we can ever experienced Patricia, but love can cut us sharper than knives."

Mom rock me in her arms on the hospital bed as I let my tears roll over my cheeks. I let mom pamper me because right now she is the only person I need.

"It hurts Mom... It hurts so much."

I clutched myself bracing my heart from the numbness of the pain I have. It's as if I am pierce with a sharp edge making my heart squirm inside.

"I know baby. I know... Just let it out." I sobbed on Mom's chest as she continued rubbing my hair. " Stop torturing yourself over an unrequited love Rebecca. What's important is you told the person you love what you feel, and if they don't feel the same about you, let it go. Do not force things if it weren't meant for you. Do not continue holding on to something that is an invalid hope planted in your mind and heart. Do not express too much affection or care to someone just because you love them. Don't give too much of yourself to someone uncertain about you, to someone who is confused about what they feel about you, because it's a human nature to underestimate anything that's free of cost. "

"Help me Mom... Help me get rid of this pain."

"I can't do anything about it baby. It will stay there, it will sting. It will ache moment by moment, but that's okay. That is true love, sometimes to love someone is to let them go. To see them happy even if it is not beside us. True love means what matters the most is seeing the person you love being happy. True love means sacrificing what we wanted to have, what we wished to have, and what we have, even if it means letting go of something that make us happy. I can't do anything about it baby. Leaving for england is maybe a great option, but you should discuss it with Freen and the whole company first. If leaving for england will make you happy, i'll support you to it, but I don't want you to leave with a heavy heart. I want you to slowly let it go, let go of the things that's keeping you from healing... But do you know who can cure your bleeding heart as fast as anyone can?"

I shook my head in anticipation.

" Freen... She's the only one who can mend that heart Rebecca. She's the only one who can mend that, because the person we care the most is also the person whom we allow to hurt us the most. That's a fact."

And that's where everything sinks in. I was never inlove before Freen, but I know she is my great love, my true love and my sincerest purest heartache. She is the person I am willing to let go if her happiness does not involve me. And I am willing to set her free if being with me is not her wish.

She's not held accountable for the pain I am going through. It is me. It was my fault.

I fell...

Without knowing no one would catch me.

Loving Freen is painful, it is exciting, thrilling, and I am happy around her. Let's leave over the times where Freen and I build quarrels that is not even a mature quarrels at all.

I never regretted loving Freen, and never in my entire life will I be.

Because I may never have Freen as my lover.

Atleast I have her as my partner, and I am grateful I get a glimpse of what we could have been.

:This is my last update for today guys. I hope you'll enjoy and i'll be heading to school now na. Stay safe and smile a lot ka.

:⁠-Petalpage