Chapter 47

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Freen

We came to a full stop outside there residence. After what happened a few minutes earlier, we fell into a complete silence. None of us speak further, the moment I let out all the emotions that's keeping up inside me my heart feel a little bit lighter. Like a heavy load has been taking away enabling me to breath in peace.

Flashback

"I'm so sorry Bec... I'm sorry I was not strong enough to fight for you the same way you did with me. I'm sorry I rely on private lawyers before addressing my issues to the public, I am not as strong as you who will speak up and clear her name in public with or without lawyers. I'm sorry that I mess everything up, i'm sorry because I put you in too much chaos and drag you with my downfall. I'm so sorry, it was never my intention."



I repeat those words over and over again as I sob in her hands. I held Becky's hand pulling it closer to my face planting soft kisses and silent cries as I interlocked it with mine.


I know I look desperate right now or I might be invading Becky's privacy but I couldn't care less, I wanted to be close to her and clear my name up in her perspective.



I love Becky. And I always tell that to her in every ting pieces of letter I wrote everytime. I always address what I felt towards her and always been vocal towards her but it was already too late. I cannot just address that to Becky right now when we are still in the process of clearing the conflicts out, I cannot just drop a bomb that will cause her to stay away from me again.


I love Becky that I have the sudden urge to clear my name and be honest with her any way possible. I wanted to tell her every details that happened if I can because I am scared she might have false assumptions of what I am trying to prove. I am scared she might misunderstood me, i'm scared she mighty misinterpret the words I wanna tell her.

That urge pushes me to be totally honest with her. Because I fear of losing her again.

But I think it is misunderstood emotions human beings experience because it is not love that confuses us, it is in the way we love that does. What confuses us is conditional love. When we expect that our ways of loving and expressing love is the only way, the right way. That is where we complicate things. An example, some people may think that spoiling the one they care deeply for is expressing they love them even though they don’t spend any quality time with them. They think it makes up for that and they think price tags announces their love.

But for me money, special gifts or price tags cannot mend the time we we're away and all the things I failed to let Becky experience.

It was time, attention, and love. And I won't risk everyday not trying to let her see, know and feel that I love her.



"Freen don't ever apologize, don't apologize for it please. Stop crying okay?"



Becky cupped my cheeks rubbing it with her thumbs wiping my tears away beaming a soft smile.

"Enough with the crying, let's go home."


Home, how I wish I could take Becky home. How reliving it is to wake up next to a beauty, she's such an angel I could ever ask for.


End of Flashback

"Do you wanna come inside?" She asked before she could open the door.

"Ah no thanks it's fine I—"

"Pwetty lady! Your here!" Before I could finish my sentence, Becky's son rush out of the house meeting his mother halfway but he run pass through her before wrapping his tiny hands on my legs making me shocked.

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