Ataraxia (SaeranxReader)

Tangled

-Chapter 10: Tangled-

"The only real escape from hell is to conquer it."

◌

I had slept with my kidnapper.

I know it sounds like the title of a dark romance novel when I put it like that, but it really happened. If only you knew how it happened. I have never seen anything so full of hate and anger, but also full of lust and pleasure.

Two days passed while I was thinking about how to hide the violet colored marks on my neck. I didn't mind the ones on my breasts and collarbones, they somehow disappeared when I put on a t-shirt, but the ones on my neck were a bit of a nuisance. Fortunately, my hair was up to my shoulders, I managed to cover some of it with my hair. 

After everything was over, we both just lay there staring at the ceiling and listening to our breathing. As two idiots who don't think about what they've just done, but what's next. Because we crossed a line that should not be crossed, and there was no turning back from here, there would be no way back. We couldn't run away from each other now, even if we wanted to.

We still didn't know what was going on between us, we weren't two people head over heels in love with each other but we weren't two strangers using each other's bodies just for pleasure, either. But I can't remember ever feeling this way in my life. Or that I can have such pleasure. With every kiss, every thrust of Saeran's, I crossed a new limit that my body had never reached before.

And now I was in my room with unbelievable cramping pains. Saeran hadn't called me to work again, probably because his mind was full of thoughts like mine, but this time I was grateful. I couldn't deal with his taunts while dealing with menstrual pain. I needed a hot-water bottle, actually if I talked to Rika she would find me but I couldn't even get out of bed. I was just curled up on the bed in my pajamas. Since my pain started after breakfast, I did not have the chance to ask for painkillers from the believer who came to my room to get the tray. I didn't think he would pick up the phone if I called Saeran. He usually wouldn't answer my calls anyway. It was as if, according to him, the only function of this phone was to call me and give me directions when I got lost in the building.

I was about to cry from pain and anger. Then my door was knocked. I didn't even bother to call out. My back was to the door, and if I didn't answer they would have left anyway. But it wasn't what I expected, my door opened slowly and the sound of those combat boots I knew from everywhere echoed in my room. The door closed slowly and silence reigned in my room again.

"Today my tolerance level is pretty low, let me tell you before you rant." I snapped without looking back at him. He didn't say anything, but I heard his steps come towards my bed. He approached my bed cautiously, and I could hear the hesitancy in his footsteps.

"Are you alright?" he finally asked, his voice a bit calmer than usual. Huh, weird. "You look like you are going to die." 

"I'm in pain, if that's what you're asking," I retorted, still refusing to turn and face him. The cramps were relentless, making it hard to focus on anything else.

"I can see it, i am not an idiot like you." he grumbled as he sat down on my bed, i felt his weight without turning to look at him.

For a moment, silence enveloped the room again. I sensed that Saeran was struggling to find the right words. "So what is it? Are you sick?" he murmured.

"Cramps." i muttered under my breath weakly. He hummed as if to show he understood.

Saeran seemed to pause for a moment, as if contemplating what to do next. Unexpectedly, he got up from the bed and left the room without a word. I didn't know what to make of his sudden departure, but the silence that followed allowed me to focus on my pain again.