Retribution

Chapter Twenty One

Fluffy, over dramatic, filler chapter.

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'I'm so proud of you,' Jaxon murmured in my ear, gently prying the dagger from my hand as I stood still and blankly looked down on the now dead body at my feet, my chest rising and falling rapidly. One of his arms wrapped around my waist and pulled me so I took a step back from the body that was still radiating heat onto my leg, the wide eyes filled with pain staring straight into my soul. I heard a small thump on the dry ground and I presumed it was Jaxon throwing the dagger away as he comforted me. Footsteps crunched away from us and into the distance at a quick pace as Matt and Jarred left us alone to give me a moment to gather myself after a life changing incident.

'He deserved it,' Jaxon muttered again squeezing at my hips trying to draw a response from me. 'You did amazing.' His words of comfort sounded lowly in my ear as he tried his best to comfort me.

'Yeah,' I muttered back to give giving him a response just so he could ease up a bit.

'When I first killed someone in the war, I was fucking petrified. I couldn't sleep for weeks.' He softly told me grabbing my attention fully. Finally I was able to pry my eyes away from the man whose name we didn't even know and I twisted my head to look at Jaxon who placed his chin on my shoulder as he wrapped his second hand around my waist. 'It wasn't until I did it again that I got over it. The more I did it, the easier it became until it was just like breathing.'

'So you want me to kill a person every day until I turn out like you?' My words sounded full of disbelief and harsh, but my tone came out confused and innocent as I didn't understand his concept of what he is trying to tell me. He chuckled slightly showing no offence taken from my rash payout and I felt his head moving side to side in a no motion.

'What I mean, is that it will be hard to deal with in the beginning, but it will become easier.' It was a strange feeling listening to Jaxon talk all sentimental and like a regular person. Although he was sweet around me, usually he would tease or be nice, not truly sound like he was there for me. I couldn't lie and say I didn't like this strange feeling, in fact I loved it. I love how he makes me feel special and how I'm the only person that is able to see how sweet he can be. From knowing Jaxon's past and how his outlooks on life are now I knew for a fact I would be the only person that he comforts in such a human way. My heart fluttered in my chest at the thought.

'I might not seem like it, but I will be here for you.' His hands around my waist squeezed my hips as he motioned for me to turn around and face him. I shyly looked up at him overcome by emotion as he looked down on me, nothing but admiration and adorning in his eyes. 'Always.' His voice was so quiet it was like a whisper making my heart thump frantically in my chest as I looked up at him like he was an angel. It when then my mind brought the thought to mind.

I love him.

My eyes widen in shock as I shove his hands away from my body as I stumbled backwards. My step back was met with the solid body on the ground and I felt myself falling backwards in slow motion and I was helpless to help myself. I squeezed my eyes closed wanting to scream out in disgust of falling and landing on top of a dead body, one that I had killed as the blistered and burnt skin was about to break my fall. Jaxon's arms shot out but from shock of my hastily retreat from him he was to slow to completely stop me from falling on the man.

His hands shot out to my arms as his hand tightly gripped my forearms arms and he tugged me to the side so I was falling onto dry nature instead of the man. A small cry of protest left my lips as my butt slowly made contact with the ground with a small thud.

'What,' he spoke but trailed of as I twisted my hands to get him to release his grip on me. I pushed myself to my feet quickly as I shuffled away from him. I had no reason to be reacting like this to realizing my feeling towards him but I couldn't help it. What if I possessed a feeling greater for Jaxon than he did for me? What if it slipped out and he felt that this was moving too fast or he feels like he couldn't never love again because he was so mentally damaged after his life time's events. Yes, he has gone to extremes to make sure I was safe or to protect me but what if he did that just because he could and because the something made him do it?