The Love Of An Alpha

Chapter 35- NO!

Ethan's POV

It is has been six weeks since Zoey had disappeared and taken my heart with her. There is not a day I don't miss her and want her back safe in my arms. I spent hours and hours searching for her in the first couple of months after her disappearance, though I was soon dragged back but my duties to my pack and had to come to the realization that I wasn't going to find her until she wants me too. When the full moon rises in the sky I worry where she is, who is helping her through the change, is she safe? I wait awake every night, in hopes that she might return to me but every day as the sun rises over the tree line I slowly drag me tired and cold body into the house with sadness in my heart. I know that Zoey is going to return to me, in this life or the next, I just hope I don't have to wait long in either one.

So I continue to wait.

Zoey's POV

Breath.

Control.

Understanding.

This was my motto for the last six weeks that has helped me to stay away from my soulmate in hopes of gaining control over the inner beast. I dream about Ethan, every night I dream about his touch, his smile, his love, and every morning I wake to the feeling of being alone and more determination then I did the day before to find away to return. I have been staying with a pack in Moshdale five states over from Ethan's pack land, this pack has no connection to Ethan and is the perfect place to hide from Ethan's power reach. I continue to take the pill Molly gave me to dull our mate bond so Ethan is unable to find me but with every dry shallow of a new pill it reminds me of all I have lost, I complaint just not taking it, letting him find me but this short moment of weakness is quickly overcome by my need to find Adam and control my darkness.

A loud knock came from the door of my current bedroom calling me into the world of my day to day life now. For the past six months I have been living and working with this pack that is trained in the ways of self discovery and over coming inner demons. Even though my demons arent just internal, I am hoping that I might be able to control my shifts in hope of never letting it become external.

"Zoey. It is time for your breathing exercises. The full moon is tonight, you need to be prepared." My life coach, Cindy, called from the door.

"Coming" I groaned. I hated all this but the only thing that kept me going was the hope of returning to Ethan one day.

"In. Out." Cindy repeated for the sixth time.

"In. Out." Seventh Time.

I hate these breathing exercises, I dont understand how this is going to help me control this dark feeling inside me, to stop me from turning into a murdering beat every thing the full moon rises in the sky. We are standing in the gym that was created for me, it was located in the basement away from everyone. There are many different workouts and machines down here, though the one I hated the most was in the corner of the room, it was a large steal cage with chains hanging from the roof and walls. That was my place for shifts so I was unable to escape and hurt anyone during the full moon, it also enables Cindy to try and watch what might be controlling me and help me to change. We spent the whole day working on inner strength, as I tried to control the animal within. Every of the month that wasn't a full moon I was researching people and methods of changing what my brother and Adam did too me. There has been no luck yet, but I wasn't giving up on the hope of being normal, the hope of being with my mate again.

The darkness slowly covered the light of the sun as I once again climbed into the cage that has become my security. I stared out the tiny window that was just out of reach as the stars came out and the moon slowly rose. Cindy stayed with me to pass the time as we waited for the change to begin, as I wait for my control to be usrepted from me every month. As the moon reached the top of the trees I felt the beast inside begin to awaken, I focused on my breathing exercises, trying to stop the darkness for suffocating me, from destroying the person I am for something evil, just as Adam had wanted. I screamed out from the pain as I was ripped apart piece by piece and replaced with the beast. The uncontrollable thirst for blood was all I could think about as I slipped slowly into the darkness of torture and regret.

This time was different, this change was different, I felt could feel the cool wind whip and whirl around my back from the open window. I could feel the hard concrete under the pads of me feet, though what shocked me the most, I could hear my own thoughts. The confusion of emotions and shock that ran through me wasn't primeval or blood thirsty, it was just me, I was conscious and in control. I have never felt so powerful and deadly like this before, the strength that my muscles held and the incredible need to run and be free drove me crazy inside.

I looked over to where Cindy was sitting in another bared cage for her protection and I was so happy I recognised her, this was really working. I looked over at her and was met with a look of fear and hope, which I replied to with quietly laying down on the cold floor and resting my heavy head on my big paws. I was at peace, even with the darkness, I had some control back.

I worked harder and harder to make sure that next full moon I wouldn't shift. Cindy and I built up my mental strength and physical strength which would help me suppress the beast within and finally control my shifts like everyone else. The morning when I awoke from my sleep a string in my stomach quickly got me out of bed and into the bedroom, as I became sick and needed to throw up. I feeling of sickness didn't pass though, I slowly walked back to my bed and flopped down onto it, which only made the feeling worst. Cindy came in as I was clutching my stomach and moaning with discomfort.

"What's wrong?" Cindy asked confused.

"I just woke up feeling very unwell." I explained. "I don't understand, maybe I ate something wrong? Maybe Molly's Pills are effecting me badly" I slowly sat up and stare at her confused.

"We should get you checked out by the pack doctor, you might be getting unwell with all this stress." I didn't argue with her statement, I just went along with it, I needed a check up anyway.

As we walked into the pack doctors office a women turned and smiled at Cindy and I, I didn't recognised her even though I had been in this pack for a while now. Though she seem to know how I am and that confused me a little, maybe I had met her and didn't remember. This could get awkward.

"Hey girls." The women greeted us with a light and bubbly tone.

"Hey Mary." Cindy greeted in return. "This is Zoey." Cindy smiled.

"I have heard about you Zoey, you are very talked about with you situation. I am glad I am finally meeting you." Mary smiled as she took my hand in a light shake.

"Nice to meet you Mary." I smiled back

"What can I do for you girls?" Mary inquired.

Cindy explained what happened and what we had been doing and Mary made some nosies as she considered the options of my syndromes.
"Can I ask you something?" Mary asked cautionary.

"Sure." I carely answered. I am a little nervous about what is about to come out.

"Are you sexually active?" Mary asked very professional.

"Yes." I answered with a blush and looked down embarrassed.

"Have you had your period?" my world shattered into a million pieces as the realisation what had happened.

"No." I whispered quietly. "No. No. No. No. No." I repeated quickly standing and pacing around the room. Cindy looked confused but it was soon replaced with shock and happiness with the pieces falling into place.

Mary just sadly smiled and placed a pregnancy test in my hands, I stared at the stick that would tell me whether or not I would be carrying Ethan's child. The fear of being a teen mum and being alone was replaced with a little bit of happiness at the idea of having a child, though I was young and didnt have Ethan, I knew I would love this child greatly. The only problem was Adam and would he want to hurt the baby?

I went to the bathroom and completed to test and came back out, the nervous were growing more and more as I shortly waited for the results.

I stared down at the white stick and smiled.

Positive