Outside My Comfort Zone (Original/Reuploaded)

Chapter 21: Inner Turmoil

Lloyd POV

I'm drawn out of unconsciousness by the sounds of your typical city traffic and other loud noises.  The longer I pay attention to the sounds, the more I can make sense of everything around me.  I can feel something next to me, something warm and comfortable.  At first I think it's a blanket or a pillow, but then I catch a certain scent. It doesn't smell like the birch forest remnants that would normally be on my sleeping bag, it smells like... pine trees? Memories come flooding back to me and I jolt awake, looking down to see that my suspicions were correct, and that there is a person laying next to me.  My panic subsides, though, when I see who the person is. 

It's Kai. Kai's sleeping peacefully on his back next to me.

He looks so peaceful when he's sleeping. But, then, I look down at myself to see I'm uncomfortably close to him, and my mind floods with questions.  Wait, why am I next to him?  Why does it look like his arm was around me when I was asleep?!  Oh First Spinjitzu— I lost grip on my emotions again! Argh!

Kai stirs in his sleep at my movements.  I turn my head away and stand up, walking away.  Kai cracks his eyes open and sees me leaving.  "Lloyd...?" He says in a tired morning voice.  I ignore him, and walk down the stairs angrily.  He sees this, and decides to follow me by getting up and groggily following me.  I find a bathroom and shut myself in, feeling like I want to rip my hair out as I claw at my face.  Kai reaches the door and knocks on it gently.  "Lloyd?  You okay?"

I turn the water faucet on and splash water onto my face.  I find a towel and pat my face dry.  I can't believe I've stooped this low.  Kai tries to open the door but is disappointed to find it locked.  "C'mon, talk to me." He pleads.

"No," I say sternly.  "I'm done talking to you."

He's taken aback by this.  "W-what?  What do you mean?"

I place my hands on the counter and arch my back, staring at my reflection with complete hate.  I'm not angry at Kai, I'm angry at myself.  But when was that ever a shocker? "It seems like every time I talk to you, I end up just embarrassing myself!" I say to him.

"What? Lloyd, let's just talk—"

"Just go away!" I growl at him.  There's silence at the door, then I can hear a quiet "okay" and his footsteps fade away.  I sigh and pinch the bridge of my nose.  Grandfather, I'm so embarrassed.  Good going "Green Ninja".  I prop my head up into my hands and cover my face.  I'm a mess. I'm always a mess.

Don't get me wrong, I still like Kai, but he can tend to be very annoying at times.  He somehow senses weakness within me, and then... then he works his way through my emotions and takes advantage of it!  What's his goal?  Is he trying to make a fool out of me?  Is this a joke?  I refuse to have the bits and pieces of my private life picked out from me like a fucking buffet any longer. I can't believe I allowed myself to let my guard down this much! The last time I did that, Harumi... I won't allow myself to be taken advantage of!

I sigh. At least I don't want to face plant on the ground from exhaustion anymore.

I decide that while I'm in the bathroom, I may as well tidy up. I had asked Mistaké last night if she was okay with us showering and all that, and she said it was fine. Having not cared for my personal hygiene in nearly a little over a week, I decide now would be the perfect time to take advantage of having these kinds of things at my disposal.

I turn on the water to the shower, running my hand under it so I can feel the temperature. Once it's warmed up, I strip what I have off and hop into the shower, the lukewarm water damping my unbrushed hair and causing me to shiver. As I soak in the water, I find myself closing my eyes and just enjoying the moment. It feels so nice to get all the dirt and sweat and grime off of me. In the midst of my daydreaming, the feeling of the water hitting my back brings me back to the ocean, when I dove into the water in a massive panic, trying to reach out to grab Kai, who's only sinking further and further out of my reach—