Chasing Evelyn

18

-Elijah Harper-

*TW*

I still try and get over everything that's happened.

It's still hard to forget about everything they've done, I felt like an asshole when I didn't go back for Evelyn.

I remember standing there with a gun in my hand, I was going to kill them.

But I couldn't bring myself to enter those doors, the doors everyone was locked behind.

I was too scared of what they were going to do to me, I was to scared they would hurt her to.

They knew how much i cared for Evelyn, I couldn't risk her safety but, either way I was risking her.

If I went in there I was risking her, if I walked away I was risking her. It was a lose lose situation.

I found safety around Evelyn, as if when I was around her both her and I were safe.

When she was in my arms I felt safe, and I knew she felt safe by the way she hugged me back.

It's been years since I left and I feel pathetic for still having those memories, and being scared sometimes.

I used to hate being touched by people, and still do, but when Evelyn hugged me after I saved her from the people robbing her.

I started liking it from her, I loved her hugs and only her hugs, they made me feel safe.

That's a feeling I've wanted since I was little and trapped in that room.

I was the oldest out of everyone there, I was in that room before everyone else.

I wished no one else had to go through that.

Evelyn was my escape from reality, and when I left that place I realized how attached I got to her.

How much I needed her because I found comfort in her, she was there for me like I was for her.

I look down and see her peacefully sleeping and I smile, I wished I didn't leave her there.

I wish I got her away from that place as soon as possible, I went back almost two years later for her.

I stood outside that building, and all I felt was fear, fear of being forced on that bed, forced to drink that alcohol, getting the beer bottle thrown at me and then locked into the room for hours.

I remembered when I snuck one of the broken glass pieces, I was going to use it to defend myself but my body took over as I dragged it over my own skin and watch as the blood left my body.

I didn't stop after that, everytime I could get my hands on a broken piece of glass I would use it.

It helped me forget about it, about everything and when I met Evelyn I stopped.

I stopped dragging the glass against my skin, I stopped picking at the scabs.

Everything felt okay around her, I felt like she was helping me with just being in my arms.

I get pulled out of my thoughts when she talks "how come your up so early?" She mumbles tiredly.

"Couldn't sleep." I say turning towards her, she nods her head slowly.

I didn't realize my breathing was heavy until she started drawing those patterns on my arm.

She knew me really well, she knew how to calm me down now by those little patterns she draws on me.

"Do you want me to stay awake until you fall asleep?" Evelyn asks still asleep.

"No angel, get some rest okay?" I say, she hums tiredly and her hand slowly draws patterns on my chest before her body relaxes and she sleeps.