|SILENT PAIN| HYUNJIN X Y/N|𝘽𝙊𝘿𝙔𝙂𝙐𝘼𝙍𝘿 𝘼𝙐

|Hospital|Chapter 11|

!TW! THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS SH TOPIC! IF YOU CANT HANDLE THAT TYPE OF TOPIC PLS SKIP THIS CHAPTER!!⚠️

Hyunjin starts to wake up a bit, and he feels your grip on his hand.. This makes him happy, as you're still holding onto him.. He's happy to see that you're still holding into him, even if you're completely asleep..
"My Lady..?"
Hyunjin now says, in a gentle voice.. He's wondering if you'll wake up..
You slowly start to wake up..
Hyunjin sees how you slowly start to wake up now.. Your eyes are still closed, but you're not fully asleep anymore.. You start to move a little in your bed, and Hyunjin can sense that your eyes are starting to open now..
Hyunjin still feels a bit tired, but he wants to stay here with you, so he's not planning to leave you yet.
"You're waking up..?"
Hyunjin now asks you, in a soft and gentle voice..
"mhm..."
Hyunjin sees how you confirm, when he asked you if you're waking up.. He's happy for this now, as he can see your eyes.. He notices how beautiful they are.. It makes him want to get closer to you.
"My Lady.. Can I get closer to you..?"
Hyunjin now asks you, in a soft tone.. He wants to move a bit closer to you, and sit beside you.. He wants to be there, close to you, as you're waking up..
You nod still almost half asleep..
Hyunjin sees how you nod, when he asks if he can get closer to you.. You're still almost half asleep, and so he now starts to move closer to you.. He moves the chair, so it's right beside the bed where you're laying down on.. And he sits on it, so he can now be sitting right beside you..
"My Lady.. Is this okay..?"
Hyunjin now asks you, after having gotten closer to you..
"Yes" You say while yawning...You are still tired and you haven't even realised how close Hyunjin is to you..
Hyunjin sees how you confirm it, when he asks if this is okay. He's happy that you're okay with it.. He likes being this close to you.. And now he can see your face perfectly, when you're still half asleep.
"My Lady.. You're so cute.."
Hyunjin now says to you, after having gotten closer to you.
"Your face is so adorable when you're half asleep.. I could look at you like this all day.."
You sit up on your bed still holding hyunjins hand while you rub your eyes..
Hyunjin sees how you sit up on your bed now, when you've completely woken up.. He still holds your hand, and the first thing you do is rub your eyes.. This makes him realize how sleepy you were.. He also starts to wonder how you slept, when you were still holding onto him..
"You're so silly and cute.. Holding my hand while you're still half asleep, and now.. Now you're rubbing your eyes.."
Hyunjin now says to you, with a chuckle.
You blush a bit..
"S-so you haven't left my side at night..?"
"No, I haven't.."
Hyunjin replies, after having heard that you were surprised by him still staying here..
"I haven't left your side.. I wanted to stay with you the whole night.."
"My Lady, I won't ever leave you.. Not when you need me the most.. And not when you want me to stay with you.. "
Hyunjin says, while still holding onto you, and blushing slightly himself, when he realizes how close he is to you..
You smile at him and you hug him tightly..Hyunjin feels your hug, and he sees you smile.. He's so happy to see this, as he hugs you back..
As you're close to him, the smell of your hair and skin, is now much more noticeable.. It makes Hyunjin realize just how close the two of you are right now..
If he leans a bit closer.. He will be able to kiss you.. The urge of doing so is getting stronger..
You suddenly break the hug..
"Well today is luckily Saturday so I don't have to get ready for school"
Hyunjin sees how you break the hug, when you mention that today is Saturday. He smiles a bit at you.
"So now.. We don't need to bother so much about time anymore..?"
Hyunjin's smile gets even bigger.. Maybe this is his chance to finally kiss you.. The urge is getting harder to ignore, and he wants to take this chance.. He leans a bit closer to you, slowly moving towards your face.. He's close enough for him to kiss you now..
You notice that Hyunjin wants to kiss you...You panic so you stand up immediately while blushing...
Hyunjin notices that you suddenly stand up, after he slowly moves closer to you.. He doesn't understand why you're standing up... And it's so sudden too.. Is he doing something wrong..?
"My Lady.. Are you okay..?"
Hyunjin now asks you, with some concern in his voice.. He starts to worry..
He's also wondering if he should stop.. Did you maybe not want him to kiss you..? Hyunjin isn't sure.. He starts to feel so unsure..
"Yes i am alright but it's getting late and I should get ready for the day..."
Hyunjin is still a bit confused, as you now say that it's late again, and you want to get ready.. He doesn't understand what this sudden change in attitude is for.. Did he do something wrong..?
Hyunjin is also wondering why you're standing up.. You're standing up, and now you're telling him that it's getting late, and you want to get ready.. All of this is very confusing.. But he doesn't speak more about it, as he notices how close he has gotten to you.. And it makes the urge stronger..
"How about I get ready and you wait for me in the living room? The maid has probably already made breakfast! After that we can spend the whole day together if you want to.."
Hyunjin now sees how you suggest to get ready and then for him to wait for you in the living room.. He starts to realize that this change in attitude of you, is because you've realized how close he has gotten.. Or maybe, you're not comfortable with how close the two of you have gotten..
And now you're asking him if he could go to the living room.. Why? Does he make you feel uncomfortable, when you're so close? Hyunjin thinks about this for a moment, as he feels his urge to kiss you is getting even stronger..
"You know I want to also get dressed..."
Hyunjin sees how you're saying that.. He understands why. You need to get dressed first, but that's a good excuse to move away from each other a bit.. Hyunjin looks away, as he starts to feel like he shouldn't kiss you.. He doesn't want to disturb you.. And it seems like you don't want him to kiss you.. He doesn't want to go against your wishes..
"Of course.. Of course.. I understand.."
Hyunjin says to you, as he also stands up.
"I'll wait for you in the living room.. Don't worry.."
Hyunjin sees how you're smiling at him, after you have thanked him.. In a way, he feels relieved and happy to see that you're smiling at him.. Maybe you're still okay with him being so close.. Maybe the idea of him kissing you..
"You're welcome.."
Hyunjin now says to you, as he begins to walk out of the room, when he has also stood up.
"Just call me when you're ready.. I'll be waiting for you, like you said.."
"I will!"
Hyunjin sees how you reply to him, saying that you will tell him, when you're ready. He then smiles a bit at you, and then he walks out of the room where you currently are.. He walks out of the room, when the urge to kiss you is still so big.. But he doesn't want to force it.. He will wait for you..
And now he's waiting for you in the living room.. He's waiting for you to come, when you're ready..
You take a skirt and a hoodie from your closet. After you are getting dressed you do your skincare and your make up. After 20 Minutes You are slowly going down the stairs..
Hyunjin notices how you're walking towards him, when you're coming down from the stairs.. You're fully dressed now, and it's already been 20 minutes since you started to get ready.. Hyunjin wonders what you've been doing all this time.. Are you making yourself look pretty.. For him?
But the idea of you doing this for him, makes him smile.. The urge to kiss you is still as strong.. But he's still holding onto himself, for now.. He knows that he should still wait for your signal..
You almost arrive the living room but you suddenly faint..
Hyunjin sees how you suddenly faint, as you're almost reaching the living room.. This makes him quite panicked immediately.. He quickly runs towards you.. He quickly catches you, so you don't fall and hurt yourself..
"My Lady..!"
Hyunjin starts to panic.. He also tries to wake you up now, as you're still unconscious..What's wrong..?Hyunjin's mind is now full of worry.. He tries to find the reason, while he tries to wake you.. But his attempts seem unsuccessful so far..
Hyunjin hears how the maid calls the ambulance, just after seeing what happened.. This makes Hyunjin even more panicked.. And it makes him wonder what is happening to you.. Is this really bad?.. Will you be okay? Hyunjin really wants to help you, but he's not sure how.. He only knows that he has to stay by your side..
The maid seems to quickly call for the ambulance as you're still unconscious.. Hyunjin looks down at you, while still holding you.. He's waiting for the ambulance to arrive.. He doesn't know what else to do..
After 10 minutes the ambulance arrives and takes you to the hospital.
Hyunjin sees how you get taken to the hospital, when the ambulance arrives.. He's standing next to you all this time.. He's still holding onto you, and now he's waiting for you at the hospital..in the waiting room...
Hyunjin is extremely worried of you.. He's waiting for the doctors and the nurses to arrive, so they can tell him some news about your state...Maybe you will be fine.. But Hyunjin is so worried.. He feels like he has to be by your side.. He wants to support you..
hours have passed and finally a nurse walks over to hyunjin with some news about your state.
Hyunjin sees how a nurse walks over to him, to tell him some news about your state.. Hyunjin is waiting for this moment.. He looks up to the nurse, with some hope of getting good news..
But at the same time, Hyunjin is already worried that you must be in a bad state, otherwise the nurse wouldn't have come over to him.. But he still keeps some hope for good news..
"Mister Hwang we have some news about Y/N's state"the nurse says.
"Yes.. Please, tell me."
Hyunjin is waiting patiently for the news, while he speaks to the nurse.
His heart starts beating faster now, when he prepares to hear the news. Is the nurse going to say something bad?.. Is this really serious?.. Hyunjin feels his heart beating faster and faster.. He's so nervous now..
"Well...Y/N fainted because of blood loss..."
The nurse says.
Hyunjin's eyes open big now, as the nurse says this.. Hyunjin is shocked by the news.. It's not something good.. Hyunjin feels how his heart beats even faster now.. He also feels his face being flushed, due to how shocked he is..
"Blood loss..? What does that mean..?"
Hyunjin is asking the nurse, while his voice is shaking.. He feels so worried..
"Is it.. Is it serious..?"
The nurse takes a deep breath before she continues talking..
"Well..We have noticed some fresh and old deep cuts on her arms and thighs..Those cuts were so deep that she lost lots of blood because of it"
Hyunjin feels even more shocked now, when he realizes this.. He feels how his entire body is shaking at this moment.. He can feel how scared he is.. He can't believe this..
"She's.. She's cutting herself..?"
Hyunjin says, while he can't hide his shock anymore.. His eyes are staring at the nurse, as he says this.. He can't believe what he just heard..
The nurse slowly nods.
"Some cuts are some years old some are months old and some are fresh.."
Hyunjin feels how his entire body starts shaking even more, when the nurse says this.. He feels like his mind is completely blown by this news..
"She.. She's doing this to herself..?"
Hyunjin is asking the nurse again, while he feels like he's going to cry..
"But.. Why is she doing this to herself?.. Why..? She's.. She's not even saying anything to me about this..!"
Hyunjin just can't believe what he just found out.. He just can't cope with this..
The nurse puts her hand on hyunjins shoulder to try to comfort him.
"You can visit her now if you want to"
Hyunjin feels how the nurse puts her hand on his shoulder, to comfort him.. He doesn't know how to react to all of this.. His body is still shaking, and he feels like crying..
"Thank you.. I want to.. I want to see her.. I just.. How did I never notice this..?"
Hyunjin says, while the shock of all this is still so great.. He feels so overwhelmed..
"I don't know what to do now.. I feel like I should've noticed this sooner..?"
"It's normal that most of relatives of the victims never noticed anything...Follow me sir if you want to see her"
the Nurse says as she walks to the room you are laying in.
Hyunjin feels how the nurse is telling him this.. It's kind of comforting.. Even if he couldn't notice this, he's still not alone in this.. He's not the only one.. That thought makes his feel a bit better, as he follows the nurse into the room where you are..
Hyunjin looks at you.. He sees how you're laying on the bed, and he notices how your arms and thighs have bandages on them.. His heart is now full of worry.. But he also feels so much guilt, feeling like he should've noticed this sooner..
Hyunjin sees how you're now looking at him, and how you're giving him a soft smile.. This makes him feel a bit better.. But at the same time, he still feels so worried for you.. He can't focus too long on your smile, as he immediately starts to think about your cuts yet again..
"My Lady.. Your arms and thighs.. You.. You've been cutting yourself..? Why.. Why do you do that..?" Hyunjin is now asking you this.. He's still confused.. But he really wants to know about this..
You look at your arms with a sad and disappointed face
"I am sorry hyunjin..."
Hyunjin sees how you're looking at your arms with a sad and disappointed face.. This makes him even more worried.. It's because he's worried about you.. Why are you cutting yourself..? You're saying that you're sorry, but you don't need to be.. You shouldn't do this to yourself.. This is making him even more worried.. He wants to support you somehow, but he doesn't know how.. He's feeling so helpless..
"Don't be sorry My Lady.. You're not doing anything wrong.. Please, just tell me why you're doing this..?"
"I cut because I can't deal..it's simple as that...I need to release..I need to hurt myself more than the world can hurt me...and then I can comfort myself..."
Hyunjin feels like his heart is breaking, as you're telling him this.. This makes him so sad.. You shouldn't do this to yourself.. This is not a solution to your problems.. You shouldn't need to hurt yourself to feel better.. This isn't right..
"You don't need to do this.. My Lady.. You can tell me what you need to tell me.. Maybe I can try to help.. If you want to hurt yourself, just to comfort yourself, then something is really wrong.. You shouldn't need to harm yourself.. You can talk to me.. Please.."
You hear him...But you look away.
Hyunjin sees how you're looking away.. This is not right.. You don't need to look away, because you should feel comfortable around him.. You should feel like you can tell him anything.. You shouldn't need to hurt yourself like this.. This is wrong..
"My Lady.. You can tell me whatever it is that's making you cut yourself.. You can tell me everything, I can't be mad at you.. Just tell me.. Please.. If I could, I would even take away your pain.. And give you happiness instead.. Please.. Tell me.."
"I am alright hyunjin. No need to worry"
"You're not alright My Lady.. You cannot deny it.. Please tell me.. What is hurting you so much..?"
Hyunjin doesn't want to give up, as he sees how you're trying to stay strong.. But you shouldn't be this strong if it's so bad.. You shouldn't need to hurt yourself.. You shouldn't need to go through this.. You should be loved..
You should not make yourself suffer like this..
"Hyunjin...can you come closer..?"
Hyunjin sees how you're asking him to come closer to you.. He's not sure why you're asking him to do this now.. But he just listens to your request, and he does move a lot closer to you..
"What is it, My Lady..?"
Hyunjin looks into your eyes, while being much closer to you..
You wrap your arms around hyunjin..
Hyunjin is a bit surprised by this sudden movement.. You quickly wrap around him with your arms.. Hyunjin looks at you, while he feels you against him.. Your body against his, your head on his chest.. If only things were different.. If only this was under different circumstances..
He could hold you and kiss you.. It's so natural to do it.. But would it be right, in these circumstances? Would this really be helping..? Hyunjin's mind is starting to get confused by all these thoughts.. But he also feels how much he wants to kiss you..
"I am sorry hyunjin...I am sorry for everything..."
Hyunjin sees how you apologize, as you're hugging him.. A part of him wants to hold you tighter.. He sees how much you're hurting.. How much you've been hurting all this time.. That's why you cut yourself like that.. And you're apologizing to him.. You're apologizing for your pain.. For your depression..
"No.. It's not your fault.."
Hyunjin's voice is soft, as he speaks to you.. He wants to hold you tight, but he's trying to control himself.. His heart is hurting.. His mind is full of thoughts..
The nurse approaches you now.
"we need to take you for tests now"
The nurse says.
Hyunjin sees how the nurse is approaching both of you.. He quickly lets go of you, and he steps back.. He's going to let the nurse take you for tests.. He doesn't want to get in the way.. But his heart is still full of worry for you.. He's hoping that there is nothing too serious going on.. He tries to hide his worry, for your sake as well..

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Pls dont be mad at me:) I had to add some drama and that was my only idea-lol