|SILENT PAIN| HYUNJIN X Y/N|𝘽𝙊𝘿𝙔𝙂𝙐𝘼𝙍𝘿 𝘼𝙐

|Trauma|Chapter 12|

The nurse takes you for tests and comes back with you after 20 minutes.
Hyunjin sees how the nurse comes back with you after about 20 minutes.. But what were the tests for..? What did they find out..? Hyunjin's heart is still worried about you.. Even if the nurse took you for tests, he's still afraid that something could be wrong.. He's afraid that you might still be suffering..
"My Lady.. You're not hurt.. Are you..?"
Hyunjin asks you, as he tries to read your face.. He wants to be sure that you're okay.. That you're safe..
"She will be fine when she stops with self harm. Since she lost lots of blood she Will be weak for a couple of days." The nurse says.
Hyunjin sees how the nurse says that you'll be ok, when you stop with self harm.. That's obvious.. If you're cutting yourself like this, it doesn't mean that you're alright.. And the most important thing is to take care of you.. Your mental health is what matters the most here.. You should not harm yourself.. It shouldn't be your way of dealing with those feelings..
"Please please please.. Don't do this to yourself again.. I'm begging you.. Please don't hurt yourself anymore.."
Hyunjin speaks to you with worry in his voice.
You lay down back on your hospital bed and nod
"I will try..."
Hyunjin sees how you nod, and this makes him feel better.. You're going to try to stop cutting yourself.. And this makes him happy.. He will do everything he can.. He will support you.. He will not let you be alone..
"Try should not mean maybe.. You have to promise me.. I can't let you do this to yourself.. You have to be better for yourself.. I want you to be happy.. I want you to be in a better place.."
Hyunjin speaks to you in a soft voice, while holding your hand.
"she needs to stay in the hospital for a night. Tomorrow she can leave"
The nurse says with a smile.
Hyunjin sees how the nurse says that you will have to stay at the hospital for another night.. That's ok.. As long as you're going to be okay.. Hyunjin wants nothing more besides you feeling better.. He just wants you to be in a better place..
"I understand.. We can stay here for the night.. I'll stay here with you.."
Hyunjin says to you, and he holds onto you.. He's not going to leave you alone.. He just can't leave you like this.. The thought of it hurts too much..
You look at hyunjin grateful
"Hyunjin...Thank you.."
Hyunjin sees how you thank him, and he feels warm inside.. He feels how much your heart was broken, and how much you needed him.. And he's going to make sure that you'll never ever feel like this again.. You'll never have to feel like this again..
"Shh It's okay... I'll always be here for you.. You don't need to be grateful.. I just want to take care of you.." Hyunjin speaks to you sweetly.. He just can't see you feeling like this.. He cannot let you suffer..
"Are you doing this because my father hired you as my bodyguard..." You say with a sad face...You feel like he is only doing this for money...
"No, no no.. Your father did hire me as your bodyguard.. But what I'm doing now is not only because of my job.. I'm doing this as the person who wants your happiness.. Please understand this.. I'm not only here for you because of your father.. I really care about you.. So much.."
Hyunjin speaks to you, and he still keeps holding your hand.. If only he could remove all of your struggles and your pain.. It would make everything so much easier.. He could just make you happy.. If he could, that is..
Your sad face turns into a bright smile of happiness.
"That's great to hear...I am happy"
Hyunjin sees how you smile at him.. Your sweet smile is something precious.. Something he wants to keep seeing.. Something he never wants to forget.. He is happy to see you smile..
"I'm happy to hear that.. But please, don't hurt yourself ever again.. It's not worth it.."
Hyunjin speaks to you softly, and he hopes that you'll listen to him.. But he knows that it's hard to stop doing something like this.. He just wants you to feel better..
"I will try my best..."
Hyunjin sees how you say that you'll try your best to not hurt yourself again.. It makes him feel a bit better.. He will hold onto this comment.. He will hold onto your promise.. He will hold onto you.. Your hand is so warm, your hand feels so nice against his.. He still can't believe how his life has changed all of a sudden..
"This is what I want to hear.. Please don't forget this.. I don't want you to keep suffering anymore.."
Hyunjin speaks to you softly, while keeping his grip on your hand tight..
"Will you really...stay the night with me here in the hospital..?"
"I can't think of a better place to be than here, with you right now.. I'll stay here with you.. I can't leave you alone.. Just.. Let me sleep next to you.. In the same bed with you.. Let me hold you.. You don't need to be alone tonight.."
Hyunjin speaks to you softly.. He's still holding onto your hand.. He's still worried for you.. He just wants to take care of you..
"I would love to...I would really appreciate it..."
"Then, I will.. I will stay with you tonight.."
Hyunjin speaks to you softly.. He's not going to let you feel alone.. But there's also something else.. He still feels confused, about his feelings.. He doesn't know how to call it..
You're so adorable.. He just wants to keep holding you like this.. He loves you holding onto him.. It makes him feel so much better.. But.. He still doesn't know if his feelings are just from caring about you.. Or if it's something more..
Hours have passed and you and hyunjin kept talking.. it's getting late and you start to feel tired.
Hyunjin has enjoyed keeping you company.. He has enjoyed talking to you.. He has enjoyed listening to your sweet voice.. But it is getting a bit late right now.. And he can see how you're starting to get tired.. He has noticed how tired you are, and he also feels tired himself.. He can't keep you awake for much longer..
"My Lady.. It's getting late now.. Do you want to sleep a bit..?"
Hyunjin asks you, and he smiles at you..
"I do...but lay down next to me.."
Hyunjin sees how you want him to lay down next to you.. He's happy to do this for you.. He's happy that you want this.. This makes him feel loved.. He just can't describe what he feels.. He just can't..
He nods at you.. He will do as you told him to.. He will lay down here, into the same bed as you.. He will get close to you.. He will try to cuddle with you, if you allow it..
Hyunjin sees how you put your head on his chest.. He can feel your head against him.. He really likes this.. But he also likes that you're holding onto his hand.. You're so close to him.. He cannot believe how close you are to him right now.. He can't even believe how much this means to him..
He wraps one of his arms around you.. He's hugging you.. You're so close that he can feel your warm breath on his chest.. He can smell your hair.. And he has no words for how he's feeling right now..
"Does my father know that I am in the hospital?" You sigh..
"He does.. He knows about this.. I've called him when you were taken for those tests.. I've told him that you'd need to stay for a night.. So don't worry, he knows about this.. but I haven't told him about your sh.."
Hyunjin speaks to you while softly stroking your back.. You're so close to him.. He just wants to keep taking care of you.. But his mind starts to wander as he keeps thinking about what you just said..
"My Lady.. Please.. Why did you feel the need to cut yourself..?"
Hyunjin asks you, while still caressing your back..
You think about what Hyunjin said...What can you say..? You take a deep breath..
"I needed to let out all of my pain..."
"But My Lady.. What is causing you so much pain..?" Hyunjin asks you, while still caressing your back.. His hand is moving slowly, and he keeps his other arm wrapped around you.. He holds onto you.. He doesn't want to leave you.. He wants to keep taking care of you..
"You don't need to feel like this.. You shouldn't need to harm yourself like this.. This should never be your way of dealing with your pain.. You must know that by now, right..?"
„He hurted me so much..."
"Who.. Who's hurting you?.. How did it get to this point..?"
Hyunjin asks you, while keeping his hand on your back.. He feels you being uncomfortable.. He doesn't know how anyone could hurt you like that.. He wants to take your pain away.. But if it's the people close to you.. It's much trickier.. If only he knew who it was, he'd immediately go to confront them.. The thought of you being hurt like this.. It's unbearable to him..
"Who? Tell me who is doing this..?"
You take a deep breath before you say something...Your voice is shaking...is it the right option to tell him the truth..? Can you trust him..?
„My father...."
Hyunjin feels so much anger building inside him.. He wants to go confront your father.. He doesn't allow anyone to hurt you.. And if it's your own father.. He'd make sure that this won't happen again.. He could make anyone regret even thinking of hurting you..
"Your father..?"
Hyunjin asks you, while still stroking your back.. He's so angry.. But his face still appears peaceful.. He's trying to hide all of this inside him.. He won't let you see how angry he's getting..
"He never cared about me...he often beat me up when something wasn't going like he wanted to...I was raised by maids...when I got older he hired bodyguards for me that should show me how to behave...They beat me up too often...If I miss behave they punished me and raped me...I was never enough...no matter what I did...Time has passed and every time I had new bodyguards the every second one worser than the first one...so when my father hired you I thought that you would be the same as them...and at first I thought so. When I first meet you, you were mean,cold and strict to me...But now I see that you are different from the other bodyguards that I had..."
Now...You have let it all out...it's the first time you have told someone about everything...And what now? What will he say? What will he do? Does he care? Will he comfort you? Will he Show any kind of love?
Hyunjin sees how you tell him the whole story.. How hurt you were.. All of those abuses and beatings.. They're all so cruel.. And you had to go through that.. How could anyone.. How could anyone hurt you like that.. Especially your very own father.. How could he let something like this happen to you..
There is no excuse for this.. No matter what you've done.. No matter who are you.. You should never suffer.. Never.. And yet.. You did.. You went through so many awful things for so much time..
"So yeah thats the whole story..."
You say hurt with sadness in your voice while holding him tighter...
Hyunjin feels you holding onto him.. And he knows that you need comfort.. And more than anything right now.. You need love.. He holds you tighter, as he speaks to you..
"My Lady..You need to understand one thing.. Please, never ever allow yourself to be hurt like this again.. You need to love yourself.. No matter how bad you think you could have been.. No matter what you've done.. You don't deserve to suffer.. Especially not like this.. Not for the hands of someone else.. Not from the hands of your own father.."
You nod
"Thank you hyunjin..."
You suddenly put your head under hyunjins shirt, you can now feel hyunjins naked chest. While you are still hugging him.
Hyunjin sees how you hug him closely.. He sees how you put your head on his chest.. And now he can feel your hair on his chest.. He can feel your warm breath against his skin.. It's soft.. It's sweet.. It's warm.. And it's so nice.. You feel so nice.. Your body is so soft.. You feel so good..
"My Lady.. You're safe now.. You don't have to fear anything anymore.. You won't be hurt like this ever again.. You will never need to suffer again..."
You feel safe and loved...You slowly start to fall asleep...
Hyunjin sees how you slowly fall asleep.. His heart flutters a bit.. But he's happy.. He's glad to see you fall asleep.. To see that you're ok.. He's glad to see that you feel safe and loved.. His mind is still thinking about all of the things you've been through.. How you went through so much pain and so much suffering.. But.. Right now, there's also this sense of relief.. You're safe.. You're here in the hospital.. And you're safe..
Hyunjin smiles sweetly.
"Sleep well.."
You feel him holding onto you.. His arms wrapped around your body tight.. You both fell asleep like this.. The way Hyunjin clings onto you.. It's somehow so sweet.. So lovely.. So soft.. His whole behavior in the last hours.. It's all so unexpected.. And yet, it's all so gentle.. So loving.. And it makes you feel a bit dizzy.. It's almost like a dream..
You're in your hospital bed.. Next to the man who was supposed to be your bodyguard.. But now.. He's your.. So much more than this..

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So sorry for not posting much! I just started school and I didn't had any time or energy to write a new chapter! But I will try to post a chapter every second day!:D