This is Me Trying ⭑ Rafe Cameron

sixteen

CHAPTER SIXTEEN
[16]
song: use me (feat. 070 shake) by pvris

It burned in her nose, and too much got caught in the back of her throat. She leaned up and tilted her head back, pressing her tongue to the top of her mouth to ease the pressure. Then she doubled over, starting to cough.

That tacky, paint flavor in her mouth was a distasteful reminder of her life a year ago. The way she used to depend on this stuff to be a good, confident conversationalist. When her friends used to have a couple beers at a party, she'd sneak around the corner and grab a bag of this off of Aubri or Barry. Whoever had any.

It made her feel really good for about ten minutes. Made her chatty, and energetic, and happy to be there. But now it just burned the inner corners of her eyes, like she'd gone deep underwater and purposefully inhaled through her nose.

She clung to her throat, now sat against Rafe's dresser as she coughed it out, holding a finger against her nose to keep it from draining.

What a pathetic way to live.

It took more effort than it should've for Cassie to get herself up and off the floor, to clean up her mess and put it back like it was before.

She couldn't stop thinking about the dead body in that truck. Of the sounds he made as he died, of the blood that drained from his chest. She couldn't go home even if she wanted to. She couldn't carry on with her life right now, couldn't go back to pretending that everything wasn't so deeply screwed up.

There was a comfort in being here in this house that she wasn't used to. In it's marble floors, and freshly manicured lawn, she didn't have to face consequences. The Cameron's never had to before, why start now?

Hearing footsteps coming up the stairs and towards the door, she quickly wiped her nose of any evidence as Rafe flung the door open, and quickly shut it behind him.

She watched him carefully as he swept past her and toward his bedside table, setting down the truck keys. He was moving so fast her eyes struggled to keep up. It wasn't until he walked over to his closet and pulled out a suitcase that she felt inclined to speak.

"Where are you going?" She asked.

There must've been a tone of disappointment to her voice that she hadn't noticed, as Rafe turned to look at her with such sad eyes, she began to wonder what she possibly could have done to have caused this.

He looked around his room as he thought of his next words. A strange satisfaction in knowing what happened next, but also that fear of it not playing out the way he hoped.

Cassie sat down on the bench at the end of his bed, the urge to pass out quickly growing strong as her head throbbed, and her stomach twisted, begging her for fuel. She watched him, hands on either side of her to keep herself upright.

He was leaving. He was packing his stuff up, and leaving.

And she was just sat here, hopeless, and foolish, and just another one of his pawns that he strings along until he gets what he wants. And he did, so he was leaving.

"No." She let out, realization slowly hitting her at the thought of how completely alone she'd be. Another person in her life, gone. Another to add to her long list.