This is Me Trying ⭑ Rafe Cameron

fifty four

CHAPTER FIFTY FOUR
[54]
song: 6 underground by sneaker pimps

Cassie sat hunched at the vanity in her bedroom, feet tucked up on the stool, her arms wrapped tightly around her knees as she scrolled absently through the group-chat on JJ's phone.

It had been a full night since he left to go see their father, and with no way to contact him, she'd grown worried. She told Kiara she was going to give it until noon before she'd go out and get him herself.

Outside the window, the soft hum of the world kept moving, but inside, it felt like everything had stopped. The crew was on their way back from Charleston. They'd texted to say they were on the ferry, almost home.

She reached for her makeup bag, the products spilling out in a mess on her lap. Cassie layered on the concealer, smudging it over the angry purple bruise that scattered across the skin on her face. Then powder, more than she needed. She didn't want anymore attention on her than there already would be tonight. It was her house on the line, her store, her livelihood. Her appearance would only gather more questions and stares, and she wasn't in a good place to deal with any more of that.

But as the makeup smoothed over her skin, it wasn't enough to cover the cracks she felt beneath. It was like trying to patch up a broken window with tape. No matter how many layers she added, the damage was still there. Just waiting to shatter.

Rafe's sweatshirt didn't feel appropriate to wear anymore. The comfort he had brought her the night before felt wasted after his appearance at the shop yesterday. His tone, the way he had to remind her at every waking second that it was him who'd always be in control, that no matter what happened, Cassie couldn't get the leg up on Rafe.

And that's why they didn't work. A relationship spent trying to get the high ground over the other isn't a relationship at all. She had to remember that.

Her hands shook slightly as she pulled on an old blue soccer jersey she'd picked up from a vintage store months ago, the faded fabric too soft against her skin to be anything but a reminder of simpler days. Her jeans were baggy, worn at the seams. More of a comfort than an attempt to impress. It felt so silly to sit and dot blush onto her cheeks, and braid her hair. Nothing was going to hide the fact that Cassie hadn't felt like herself in a long time. No amount of makeup or pampering could change that.

As she moved to her door, to head downstairs and meet Kiara in the garden, she caught glance of some photos pinned up on her bulletin board beside her bed.

Her grandma on one side, before she decided to continuously dye her white hair dark red. Cassie in the middle, around nine years old, a flour-covered apron tied around her body. Her mother on the other side, holding a chocolate covered whisk in one hand.

It was a photo from her old house in Waco. Cassie could remember the tacky, dated floral wallpaper in the kitchen. One of the few times her grandma came down to visit. It was Christmas, a cold day, but a good one. So simple.

Next to it was a newer photo of Cassie and JJ, taken around a few years ago on one of Kiara's disposable cameras.They gave a pair of matching thumbs up, standing at the end of the dock at The Chateau, both sunburnt beyond compare. That was a trait they'd shared since childhood. Especially in the early summer months. JJ didn't burn anymore, but Cassie figured it was her years back in Texas that kept her from outgrowing it.

It was before Kitty Hawk. And she didn't need the date on the picture to tell, she could see it in her eyes. She was tired, sick. So young, both of them. They looked like babies, and she remembered how the both of them thought then that they were so grown, so ready for the world.