This is Me Trying ⭑ Rafe Cameron

forty three

CHAPTER FORTY THREE
[43]
song: a lot's gonna change by weyes blood

In just the two months since their return, the feeling of her knuckles gently tapping on the black front door had become too familiar.

The feeling, and the waiting. The fidgeting with her fingers, and holding of her breath. Waiting to hear footsteps come down the stairs, a lock to twist and unlatch from the other side.

She'd stood at that doorstep three since her return from Venezuela.

And each time, she got no response. No matter how long she stood and waited.

Tannyhill had become its own ghost town.

—

After the hospital, they took a ferry back to the Outerbanks. Cassie slept the whole ride, clutching onto herself where the bandage was taped to her stomach.

Rafe took his boat. He told her he needed to be alone.

And Cassie understood at the time, he'd just found out he lost a father.

But it'd been two weeks now. And she hadn't seen or heard anything from him since.

It'd been two weeks of tossing and turning. Of leaving the lamp on all night. Of chugging energy drinks too late in the day, too afraid to close her eyes and go to sleep.

Because every time she did, she saw him.

She heard the sound he made when the bullet hit him, she saw the blood pooling around him as he lay lifeless by the river. She felt the weight of the gun still in her hands.

The wound on her stomach was healing, but Cassie's mind was deteriorating.

It was hard to put on a happy face when she was around her brother and her friends. They were all on such highs, gold at their fingertips and wealth on the way.

They had so many plans together. So ambitious for a group of teenagers who had no idea what it took to ran business. But it didn't matter, they had each other and that's all they needed.

But every time she smiled she was smiling for them, and every time she laughed she was laughing for them. Cassie Maybank wasn't happy. Not for herself, at least.

She was alone. She was alone when she got back to the Outerbanks. When they all coupled off to return to their families, Cassie walked herself home. She was alone every night, her thoughts eating her up from the inside out. She was alone when she ate breakfast in the morning, and dinner at night.

She was alone when she took her Grandma to the doctor week after week. She was alone when she found out that she died and she had to drive back to the house from the hospital by herself.

She was alone when she unlocked the front door and stood in her house just as she'd left it that morning. Her breakfast still sat on the tv dinner tray.

She was alone at the funeral. Of course, her friends were there. But the whole time, watching the casket get lowered into the grave, her eyes kept traveling around the small crowd. Thinking Rafe, out of all people, would care enough to show up for her. Be there for her. Despite everything.