where dreams go

tape 10: bound by blood

"blood is thicker than water"

that's what the people say right?

that your family will always have your back.

that no matter what, your family are the ones who won't ever leave you.

that even if you took even the highest fall, your family will be there to cushion you.

well, I might believe that I may have been adopted somehow.

or I am just born to be hated by my own blood and bones.

maybe I did not impressed my parents,

not the best brother my sisters could ever had,

or just maybe, just maybe, I was never supposed to live.

maybe my existence had been a burden,

a bad decision from a reckless sex that 9 months later my parents had to bring me to this world.

even so, I had to stay quiet,

every word and cry had been drowned out by my sisters,

every achievement had always came short.

and every decision I made had always felt wrong.

anyways, that's what you get being the third child,

and just because I'm used to the neglect and trauma,

just because I act strong and as if nothing happened,

and probably that is what they thought before they treated me too,

just because.