tape 41: both ways

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"to love you have to bare the fact that you will get hurt"

when I was younger, I couldn't had understand how to completely separate words would coexist in the same sentence.

I used to wonder how loving someone would get you hurt.

how does the act of loving would cause such bruise that the eyes couldn't see, medicine couldn't heal.

had I been more aware of it when I was younger,

had I took those words more seriously,

had I did, I would have saved me from this hurt.

perhaps, what I should have done was not to be afraid of getting hurt in loving.

at least, the pain that I felt from what comes from loving someone is proof of the existence that I had felt love.

at least, the pain that I felt made me to the person I am.

to be aware,

to stand guard to those who would maim myself,

to realize that loving and hurting, comes both ways.

to realize that loving will get you hurt and not the other way around.

and now, I find myself content.

content to share my love even with those who only had to share the same dreams of mine.

content that the tears that I drop today, stand witness that I have loved.

content of what the damages have been,

but no matter,

a kingdom burnt to the ground is a kingdom rebuilt many times stronger.

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