Me,god,father, and this stupid idiot

weird Feeling

I woke Up, Middle of the night and i Heard my father screaming again and someone Else aswell. Fuck this Shit im to tired for this. I Fell asleep again, i Need to Catch Up some sleep. Next day i woke Up, got downstairs and father was nowhere to be found. Weird. The usual, i Made Lunch But father...still wasnt there. Maybe He has a Meeting or Something to do at church, wouldnt be to unusal. I walked to school, got into class, ate Lunch, and stumbled through all my classes. Until i Had Art class. One of the very few  classes i have with Larry. I sighed, and walked Inside the art-room. I sat down And waited until a teacher came in. She told us about Our assigment and explained some Things. I looked to Larry. No Idea why. Maybe He does Something stupid so i can Point it Out. But He didnt. He seemed concentradet on what He was Doing wich is unusal But- why the hell do i even Care about that?! I got that Shit weird Feeling again and Tried to do the assigment aswell. I Need to Catch Up on school. Today was pretty okay of you ignore Larrys shithead, His Friends, and my wounds still hurting. I actually could do Something in class And didnt Fall asleep wich was great. Wich wasnt great however was that whenever i saw Johnson i still felt weird and wanted to vomit. And i felt...Just weird i guess. It Bugs me. What the hell is this. I..have No other choice then to say Something to Larry to try and find Out what this is. I hate this so so much. I saw him on Break.

"Johnson. Did you smoke too much fucking Weed or sometihng?!"

"What do you want Phelps?"

"Answer the fucking question"

"Nah. To both Things"
And He walked away. Hes such an Idiot. And His answer didnt fucking Help at all! So that fucking means its Not because the Weed. Then what Else? This annoys me. And it makes me angry. Maybe today at church i can ask someone there about it. But No way im telling that its about Johnson. Its annoying enough Like that. School was finally over, and i walked Home, father was finally there, He greated me, i Said hello Back and changed my clothes, and went to church. When we Had time to Talk i walked to one of the Boys my age i got relativly along.

"Hey.."

"Hello Travis! Do you Need Help with anything?"

"No..i Just wanted to ask you Something"

"What is it?"
I Hate Talking about me. But i Need to know why i feel so fucking weird.

"So like- when im around a certain Person i feel weird and Like im going to vomit. And also- No Idea how to describe it. Just weird. Any Idea what that is?"

The Boy chuckled.

"Seems Like you are in Love. Who's the lucky Girl?"

WHAT. NO. THIS CANT BE. NO. Im going to fucking throw Up and jump from a FUCKING CLIFF. No there Must be another explanation. No way. Im Not fucking gay.

"Uh..you Sure?"

"I mean as you explained it or sounded pretty much Like it. Maybe explain it a Bit better haha"

Fuck. This- doesnt even make Sense! I hate Larry fucking Johnson. I could never- im Just throwing Up at the tought of it. Thats wrong and sinnful. But- i mean i didnt exactly Hate when He helped me. NO. what??! It was horrible. I..No.

"Well, i kinda Hate..her  But i Like i Said i have this weird Feeling and think about h- her alot and it annoys me. More then her."
This is the fucking Most i ever opened Up to anyone. And i cant let it Slip Out its a fucking boy. Lets Just Hope im Just insane or Shit.

"Oh you are totally in Love man!"

SHIT! I Just want to die right now. I feel so angry at myself. At this fucking boy who told me this. And at Larry for his- EVERYTHING. I HATE THIS. Why cant i Just be fucking normal?! This is absolute Shit!

"Oh shut it"

"You are in loveeeeeeeee~"
I swear If He doesnt shut Up now im going to-
"Travis time to Go Home now. You still have some Work to do"

My father. He saved me right now.

"i have to Go"
I waved the Boy goodbye and walked Home with my Dad and did the dishes before waking in my room to do Homework. But all i could think of was Larry. How He Smiled at me. And how His Smile doesnt actually Look that Shit. And Just him. This fuckhead. Im going to kill him And then me. This cant be. I cant be possibly in Love with fucking dickhead Larry. This is awful. Im going to hell. I cant Tell anyone about this. Shit Shit Shit Shit! I hold my Cross necklace and kneeled down, praying god will heal me. I dont want this. I want a Normal Life. Please. Help me. I Tried Not to cry But did anyway. I layed on my bed and cried myself to sleep. Travis Phelps. In Love with a Boy that hates him. Patethic. A dissapointment. A sinner. I Just Hope this Feelings Go away If i hide them Long enough. If i Push them away enough. This is Bad. This is really fucking Bad.

(This isnt very Long either But hey! I hope yall Liked this)