Me,god,father, and this stupid idiot

a new friendship and a Confession

I woke Up pretty late. Its sunday great. Last day before school begins again. But Yesterday was pretty cool, If you Put the cult Meeting by Side. Its Not that Shit to hang Out With Sal i guess. And its Not that Bad spending time with Larry. If we ignore the Panic and unabilty to concentrade, and how my Heart Beats faster around him. Maybe i can hang Out with them Sometimes when i got nothing to do. I Got myself Something to eat and did some Homework. I checked my Phone after i was done.
"Was nice hanging Out Yesterday. Youre Not that much of an asshole ahaha. Next week, friday after school?"
How nice. But He will get a Pass this once, im feeling good today. Hmh. I dont Think i have Something to do on friday. "Yeah yeah whatever. And okay."

"Alright! Cya tommorow."

"Does Larry come again?"

"No, He has Something to do. Why do You ask?"
Shit.
"Just wanted to know thats all."

"Alright. Bye!"

"Bye"

Okay. Atleast i dont have to Panik about anything. What do i do now? Hm. I could apologize to Larry. It doesnt Fell as akward as before. I have nothing better to do right now anyway. Whatever.
"This is travis, i Just wanted to say sorry for Being a jerk to you And Sal."
I layed my Phone Besides me and closed my eyes, and took a few breaths again. I actually aplogized. Im weak. I took my Phone again.
"Travis? Apolgie Accepted Just dont Punch my Brother again Phelps."
Okay. Good. Its whatever. Okay.
"I wont."
I went for a Walk, to also still Kind of Deal with all of this, and Just clear my head for a Bit. Until i suddenly saw Larry smoking by a nearby tree. What is He Doing Here? Should i Talk to him or? I dont think He noticed me until now. I got myself together and decidet to say hello Atleast.
"Hey Johnson"
He looked at me and then- Smiled? Weird.
"Hey Phelps. What are you Doing Here?"

"Same question for you"

"This is one of my smoking places. Amd Sometimes i Go for a Walk to Just get my mind of Things. So what about you?"

".. pretty much the Same, If you Count Out the smoking Thing."

"Cool."
He took a drag Out of His cigarette and then Held it to me.
"Want some?"

"No i dont do this stuff."

"Alright"
He took another drag and looked Back at me.

"Anything happening in your Life? Im Going to the CD store on friday. Sanitys Fall new Album is out"

Ah so thats what He is doing on friday. But why Is He telling me this in First place? Why Is He Even still Talking with me.

"Oh okay. And No Not really"
I have No Idea what to Talk about, and If i should even continue to Talk, and im- Well feeling weird again. I dont want to say im in Love. Not with a Boy. Not with Larry. Im still angry at me for this.

"Alright."
He took another drag and looked away. I hate him for this. I want to be normal. I dont want to Like His Smile, His iditot self, His Long Brown Hair, the dumb Jokes He makes, everything.
"Fuck Off"
I Said, almost a Whisper And with that i walked away. A Bit faster then i would Walk usualy. I dont think Larry Heard me. I looked Back after a while and Larry seemed confused why i suddenly walked away, But continued to smoke. Shit. I Just want to Go Home as fast as i can. I more or less walked into my room and had a small breakdown about this, Like the patethic Person i am and Lied down in bed again and stared at the ceiling. Well Atleast He doesnt Hate me. I guess. Doesnt make this any better But its Something. I wrote Something in my diary again, wich was also Kinda an attempt to get this Out of my system. The Rest of the day passed by relativly quickly. I ate Dinner,got Back in m room and Tried to sleep. I stayed awake for a Few more Minutes until i Fell asleep. Next day, i woke Up, changed, Said goodmorning to father, ate Something, packed my stuff and walked To school. It was pretty boring. At Lunch Sal walked Up to me and sat down with me. Followed along with Larry. Dont they have Ashley and the fag to sit with? Why are they sitting down with me? Uhgh.
"Dont you Guys have your fag Friends to sit with?"