JJ Maybank X Y/N Imagines

🤍 cuts 🤍

warning: self harm ⚠️⚠️
if you ever need to talk im here for you ❤️❤️
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you spent the day at home just watching tv and being lazy with your boyfriend, jj.

you guys both were getting ready for the boneyard party tonight down at the beach.

you were sitting at your vanity mirror, doing your makeup. whilst jj sat on your bed, all ready.

"are you almost done, we're gonna miss it!!" jj complains like a little kid.

"i just need to put on mascara. and change.." you say quietly so jj doesn't complain more.

"ugh everyones already there, its gonna take forever to get there." he says as he throws his head back in annoyance.

"chill the beach is right down the road. if you want you can help me get my outfit ready so we can leave quicker." you say as you finish up putting on your concealer, getting ready to blend.

"oh alright lets see." jj says flipping through your clothes.

"what about this?" he says holding up a tiny revealing red crop top.

you've been really insecure about your body lately and you feel you cant wear that type of stuff because you fear other girls will judge you.

"thats a little small dont ya think?" you ask trying to cover up the fact your too insecure to wear it.

"fine, what about these?" jj asks holding up a pair of shorts.

they were cute and not really revealing but you have these episodes almost every other month where you get really insecure and it ends up with self harming.

you know self harm is bad and you shouldn't do it but, you get too caught up in your thoughts sometimes that, you just want a distraction so you do that to take your mind off of things.

"i'll probably just wear leggings, babe." you say as you put your mascara on.

"okay" he says as he takes out the leggings and you already have an idea as what sweatshirt you'll be wearing.

jj doesnt know about these episodes, and he wont ever find out. along with your friends, and mom.

***

it was now somewhere around 8 and you and jj got there around 6. you were drinking a beer with sarah and kie and some other girl.

"y/n how are you wearing that? its so hot outside." sarah yells over the mix of people and loud music.

"oh i-" you start but get cut off by the touron you guys were hanging out with.

"probably because shes fat" the touron snickers making you feel a lump form in the back of your throat.

kie and sarah both laughed in unison. probably didnt even hear her, but you sure did.

you started to feel your eyes gloss over and you started walking backwards soon turning into a sprint up the beach.

you double checked to make sure you had your keys before hopping in your car and driving off, knowing jj would probably ride home with john b.

the tears that had threatened to come out had finally made their way into a quiet sob as you drove home.

you got home and walked into the empty house, due to your mom being out of town.

you slid your body down the wall as you cried all the tears in your system.

you made your way over to the bathroom, and was desperate to stop crying over such a stupid comment, so you did what you always do.

(warning ⚠️)

you grabbed the razor.

and you cut yourself.

you cut yourself more than you've ever done before.

you only ever cut yourself from your own thoughts, nobodys ever mentioned your weight. but now that they did you felt even more hurt than ever.

you werent even thinking and realized you were cutting your wrists. you never do your wrists.

you always do inner thighs, or upper stomach, where its hidden.

you couldnt stop.

you just kept going.

and going.

and going.

until you heard a knock on the door followed by a "y/n? its jj. are you alright? did you get sick."

"shit." you whisper as you quickly stand up and attempt to hide the razor, but its too late.

damn why didnt you lock the door.

"y/n..what is that?" jj ask as he just stands there in shock.

"its nothing i was trying to shave." you lie. you really cant have him knowing, but...its obvious what it is.

"y/n what are you doing." he says as his eyes gloss over.

"its noth-" you start but, its no use. he knows, and the only option left is to tell him.

you really dont want to.

"please dont be mad." you feel yourself start to cry again.

"y/n please tell me this was an accident and you've never done this before." he says as a tear slips from his eye.

you just give him a sad nod.

"where?" his voice cracks.

you let out a sigh as you start to pull down your pants and lift up your sweatshirt.

jj starts carefully walking over to you as he looks down at your inner thighs and your stomach.

"why." he crys as he pulls you into a tight hug.

"im sorry." you say as you cry into his neck.

"never be sorry baby, im sorry. for not realizing sooner, i could have helped you. please dont do this again."

"i just needed a distraction, and tonight i was having fun until this girl called me fat." you say making him pull away and look at you.

his eyes were puffy and he had tears running down his face.

"you are beautiful, i love you so so so much. and do not ever EVER. listen to that stupid, stupid girl." he says pulling you back in for a hug.

"i love you too" you say as you wrap your arms around him.

"now lets get you cleaned up."

hii once again if you ever need someone to talk to you can message me or in the comments, if you want privacy you can ask for my snap.

sorry if this was triggering or cringey i was honestly coming up with it as i go and yeah.

please please reach out to someone if you feel like doing this, or if you do this.

❤️❤️❤️❤️