Batgirl, and depression

13: Fairwell, Pain

Turns out Superman brought Kara to the future. Along with Konner and Jon. It was because Kara was having self doubt again, and homesick. She talked to Clark instead of me, which makes sense. I couldn't have understood her. She grew up on a different planet, and she had to watch it explode. Her homeland, gone in a second while she was on a spaceship pod with her baby cousin. When she got to earth she found out that the baby cousin she was sent to protect was already a grownup. Spending all those years in the phantom zone, which felt like hours. She probably felt like she lost her purpose, and she never felt humanity is worth saving. All these years, she did her hero work for Superman, never found the true reason she was fighting for. What's a girl who came from an insane city with villains who play dress up could understand what she's been through.

I listened to her talking about the future world. She said the technology started to come close like Krypton's. Made her feel like she's in Krypton. I heard her voice become very excited when she talked about the legion of heroes.
"The hall was amazing. It's like the justice league hall, but ten times better." She showed me some photos that she took with her cellphone.
"That's amazing..." I smiled. "Kara... Sounds like you are going to live there...?"
"That's what I wanted to say... The legion of heroes made me feel like home. And they invited me to join the team... But I'm not sure if I'm actually going. Look at the mess on earth without the supes. And I have you guys here."

"Kara. It's been a few great years. And as your best friend, I just want to see you happy. Even if it's at a different time."
"Babs..." She tackled me with a big hug. "Thank you. I think I've figured it out." She smiled. I smiled back.
"I'll see you again. Around two years. I'll be back. Or if I miss you too much, I'll just come back quickly."
"Ha..." I chuckled, but my expression changed. The deal with Lex is to help him for two years, on an island in the middle of unknown territory. And he said it would be best to cut all of my contacts. I tried to hide it. And I smiled at Kara. "Ofcourse." I said as I saw her wave goodbye and left the cafe.

I headed to my next stop. With Karen Beecher and Jessica Cruiz. I talked about my plan. I lied about most of it though. I said I was going to live on a faraway island, and be a nomad. Live some adventurous life, isolating myself from electronics. They were surprised, or maybe worried. They're probably thinking how a girl in a wheelchair is going to do that. But I've stated my thoughts, and they supported me, told me to call them if something happened. I told them not to tell Kara, as she's going to the future. And they agreed.
I had lunch with my dad, and told him the same story. He said something to convince me not to go, but I insisted.

I spent my afternoon in the batcave. Supporting the bat family's missions. Alfred probably saw I was more serious than usual, and told me I could tell him anything.

He sounded worried, so I told him about my plan leaving Gotham behind.
"Miss Barbara, I have no right to tell you what you could do, but I sense that you're feeling anxious about your new choice. You can tell me anything, not as the Wayne family's butler but as a friend."
He served me some tea, with milk and sugar, and also a few pieces of biscuits. We went to the Wayne's garden for teatime, as I started my story.

"I guess... I have to start with my incident, two years ago, which involves with a murderous psychopath narcissist." I said. I never told anyone about it. Not Kara, not Dick, not Zee,not even my dad.
"Two years ago, on a quiet night. I stopped being Batgirl for a month. Because I was thinking about what Dick said. The ways of what Batman follows, if it's really suitable for me, and my responsibilities, what I should do. I started investigating as Barbara Gordon, instead of Batgirl. And like always, I was again abducted. I first thought it wasn't any big deal, and the bat family would come again. To rescue citizens, like they always do. They blind folded me, and tied me up. It wouldn't be weird if the commissioner's daughter knows how to fight, right? So I untied myself and put the goons to sleep. I take a look at what's around me. A creepy warehouse. It looked familiar at first. Then I realised that it looked like the warehouse from a while ago. Where we lost Jason..." My eyes looked like it was about to drop a tear. I looked at Alfred firmly.

"I heard a voice, who belonged to the person who I was investigating. The Joker..." I still remembered every word he said, which traumatised me as the form of nightmares every night.
"Greetings, miss Gordan." He smiled. His bloody red mouth looked extra terrifying along with his pale white skin and deep green hair. "Like this place? I ordered someone to rebuild it here, in this nice abandoned theme park. In honour of our cute little birdy Robin. See? That's the crowbar I got back from the destroyed warehouse."
I held my fists tightly, finding it hard to control myself from punching him. "What do you want!" I yelled. He smiled and said, "Do you know, that one bad day could change a person?"
I didn't understand what he was trying to say. I was confused, until I saw my dad. Laying on a trolley, like the ones from supermarkets. Unconscious and tied up. "Dad!" I screamed.

"Now now, miss Gordon. Calm down a bit, and join our tour." Goons came behind Joker, and quickly surrounded me. "If you don't cooperate, we will make you." He ordered, as two of his goons walked forward towards me. I knew I couldn't beat every one of them, so I followed.
He told me to walk with him in the house of mirrors. Instead of mirrors, there were photographs in there. Photographs of corpses and bodies from his terrorism events. Some of them died in a very cruel way, it was hard to even imagine. I looked down to the floor, and closed my eyes. It was painful to look at.
"See these photos? Photos of my successful career. " He laughed like a maniac, because he was one.
"What do you want, Joker?" I asked.
"Simple. An experience of a bad day. Don't pretend you didn't know that everyone knew you were the true detective of a few cases? Jimmy Gordon never does anything right, not even recruiting her talented daughter to join him."

I still didn't understand what he wanted from me and my dad. I followed him, in a dark room. He turned on the light, and dad was tied to a log near the wall. "Wake up Gordon!" Joker slapped my dad. Dad slowly opened his eyes, and realised the situation he was in. Joker made sure he was awake, and said "Time for the show."

Before I even realised he was holding a gun, I heard a loud bang. I was thrown away to the ground. My white jeans were covered in dirt. My abdomen was in great pain.
"A nice little bullet, shot directly towards the spine." He said. He looked towards my father, making sure he was seeing all of this. I heard him scream in a muffled voice, probably because his mouth was taped shut. It was like he was screaming "Babs!"

My black sweater and blue cardigan started turning red. I realised, it was my blood. I was in great pain, too painful and I couldn't talk but whimper.
"Like it so far?" He asked my dad, and walked towards me. "It's just going to get better." He kicked my head five times, then kicked five more until my head started to bleed. He picked me up, and threw me on the floor. "Oops." He said, sarcastically.

It was the most horrible day of my life. And it has traumatised me since. The next thing I saw was the hospital ceiling and the vase next to me with flowers in it.

"I'm so sorry... Barbara. I didn't know." Alfred had just lost his words and didn't know what to say. "It's fine. It's in the past." I picked up a biscuit and sent it to my mouth. "I don't want to tell them of my plan. I love them, but..."

"I get it. Would you like a suggestion?" Alfred asked. I nodded, and he continued. "Perhaps a letter to every one of them? Even though there are words you can't tell, perhaps you could write?"
It's... a good idea. I thanked Alfred. He said he would give the letters after my departure.
"Thank you, Alfred. You are a very good friend." I hugged him and started to think what should I say to the bat family.