ＳＴＡＲ ＣＲＯＳＳＥＤ ＬＯＶＥＲ

⚜ ｆｏｕｒｔｅｅｎ

. . . ⇢ ˗ˏˋ 𝒰𝓉𝒽𝓂𝒶𝓃 ࿐ྂ

As my body passes through the lobby hotel, a familiar figure stands in front of the receptionist's desk. Those pair of eyes looking at me, were deadly. Guess someone is not in a good mood. I hastened my pace to meet him.

" Oh look who we have here! Here I thought that you've wandered somewhere else again, or perhaps lost." Emir mumbled under his breath. He crossed his arm over his chest.

My hand rubbed the back of my neck, " Emir, please spare me with those deadly eyes. Calm down, alright? I just..." my voice couldn't surpass my throat. My cerebrum is trying to arrange words for him.

" Just what? You better tell me," he scoffed. And now, his eyes were glaring at me like hawks.

" I'm just taking a stroll around the streets, that's all. You did say that the streets at night are quite the scenery. So, I want to freshen up myself." I confessed to him. My hands were tucked in my tuxedo, neatly. It was the truth, although there is more to it than why I would suddenly wander around myself.

His body leaned forward to me. Those black pair of eyes were staring at me right in my iris, trying to find the truth beneath my words. Those eyes flicker at me with a piercing gaze. " Hmph. Fine, whatever it's not like you are still a child. You can go wherever you like," he said backing off his head and shifting to his side, gazing at the glass door.

"I wish to introduce you to someone, but it seems like she has already left." Emir let out a sigh from his mouth. " It's your fault by the way," and he still looks at me with those eyes. Those eyes that displayed when he's not satisfied with something.

The statement he uttered just now made my eyes widen. A twinge of guilt slowly emerges from my heart. I have to admit it, it was my fault that the guest left because of me. " I apologize, Emir, from the depth of my heart. I would have stayed if I had known you would introduce me to her."

" No, no Uthman, relax! I'm just joking with you. Yes, I can't deny I'm quite upset but it's not a big deal anyway. I can just rearrange the meeting for later. Cheer up, man! Don't make me feel guilty for teasing you." he responded, letting out a small laugh to light up the mood. He patted my shoulder gently, trying to reassure me.

My mouth curved into a smile. Alhamdulillah, I was scared that I make the Emir upset by my actions. But still, this guilt lingers in my heart. My heart feels unsettled by it. Lightly, my fingers tapped my chin to recollect my thoughts, I have to make it up to him, later.

" It's getting late, don't you think?" he spoke while his eyes were scanning the lobby. The lobby was empty, with only a few staff at the receptionist's desk and security guards guarding the door. My eyes traveled to the Rolex watch that wrapped perfectly around my wrist. A quarter to midnight.

I nodded my head and agreed with him. We decided to meet each other the next day. Emir will return to his house and I will return to my room. It's a pretty tiring and long day. I would love to take a rest and hit the hay, after an unexpected turn of events today.

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Kᵣᵢ𝚗gg. Kᵣᵢ𝚗gg.

My eyelids slowly lifted after the alarm reached my eardrum. " What time is it?" I groaned. My hands searched for the phone at the nightstand table. Once the phone is under my palm, slowly I bring it near to my face. I glanced at the home screen.

4.30 a.m.

After seeing the screen, my eyes widened. " It's that time," the corner of my mouth turns up. I forced my body to arise from the bed. Honestly speaking, I would love to stay in bed and sleep through the night but I know if I do that, I would blame myself in the morning for missing a golden opportunity from Him.

Alhamdulillah, all praises to you Ya Rabb. This is my routine, waking up at times like this to meet My Creator. My heart beats rapidly, as the thought of this makes me on cloud nine. When I learned and heard from Mufti Menk that this prayer is an invite-only from Him, I felt honored that He chose me out of all people to get up and stand in front of Him. Allahuakhbar.

I must hurry to My Lord, so that He will be pleased with me, just as how Prophet Musa did when he rushed his meeting to Allah SWT.

˹𝘼𝙡𝙡𝙖𝙝 𝙖𝙨𝙠𝙚𝙙,˺ "𝙒𝙝𝙮 𝙝𝙖𝙫𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙘𝙤𝙢𝙚 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝙨𝙪𝙘𝙝 𝙝𝙖𝙨𝙩𝙚 𝙖𝙝𝙚𝙖𝙙 𝙤𝙛 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙥𝙚𝙤𝙥𝙡𝙚, 𝙊 𝙈𝙤𝙨𝙚𝙨?" [Taha:83]

𝙃𝙚 𝙧𝙚𝙥𝙡𝙞𝙚𝙙, "𝙏𝙝𝙚𝙮 𝙖𝙧𝙚 𝙘𝙡𝙤𝙨𝙚 𝙤𝙣 𝙢𝙮 𝙩𝙧𝙖𝙘𝙠𝙨. 𝘼𝙣𝙙 𝙄 𝙝𝙖𝙫𝙚 𝙝𝙖𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙣𝙚𝙙 𝙩𝙤 𝙔𝙤𝙪, 𝙢𝙮 𝙇𝙤𝙧𝙙, 𝙨𝙤 𝙔𝙤𝙪 𝙬𝙞𝙡𝙡 𝙗𝙚 𝙥𝙡𝙚𝙖𝙨𝙚𝙙." [Taha:84]

And that is truly a sign and the action of one who truly loves and is in awe. I know I'm not perfect, and I'm a sinner from the moment I walk on this earth until my dying breath. I pondered, is it wrong that a sinner would seek affection and love from his Beloved?

My body stood up and brought myself towards the bathroom. There, I would wash my face and brush my teeth. I take my time doing wudu', slowly and carefully making sure every part of the major area is reached with water.

Walking out of the bathroom, I grabbed the prayer mat folded at a chair and put it on the floor, perfectly facing the kiblah. Taking my time, I try to recollect my thoughts, being conscious of my creator and that He is Hearing and Seeing me right now. From the anchor of my feet, I stand humbly in front of my creator as I perform Tahajjud.

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After I performed my salah, the heavy workload and burden on my shoulders slowly lifted away. The cardiac heart beats with its rhythm peacefully. Alhamdulillah Ya Rabb, for granting me this opportunity, the fact that you still haven't taken away the blessing of salah from me. The fact that I could sense the sweetness of ibadah within me. My mouth was moist with the remembrance and dhikr of Him, and the beating heart finally felt serenity.

After praying, I folded the prayer mat and left it on the table. My feet slowly make their way to the balcony. The view of this city is truly breathtaking. Over here, I could perceive the Petronas twin tower standing mighty to its ground. The luminous light of the street complemented the starry night sky.

The pale crescent moon shone like a silvery claw in the night sky. I take a sit on a chair, admiring the panorama present before my eyes. The gentle night breeze washed away all the troubles that I kept hidden in me. Comforting my soul, and my beating heart.

Then, I suddenly remembered what had happened before I stepped foot at the hotel. I saw her, again. Standing fidgety at the security booth. I wouldn't have known it was her until I recognized that navy blue abaya I saw from a distance.

My mind wondered what brought her there, so I approached her. Upon closer inspection, a shiny reflection caught my attention and noticed there was a knife in her bag. I raised my eyebrow as I couldn't comprehend what she would do with it. But as I looked closely, she seemed, scared. She was a woman, alone with two men and the surrounding was quite unpleasant I say. A woman alone with men, she... my eyes narrowed at a distant building.

She must have felt terrified and anxious. She's alarmed and cautious of her surroundings. Perhaps that's why she drew her pocket knife. It would be disrespectful of me to blatantly think that she was going to hurt or kill them because I know she doesn't seem to be that type of person.

She's a woman with modesty and grace, haya as her veil. But don't take those as a weakness because I know underneath that, she's a woman with strength, bold, and assertive like our mother, Sayyidna Khajidah. The corner of my mouth turned up as I pondered on my thoughts.

A grin plastered on my face. "Never knew that white lily could have her thorns. " I stated after reminiscing of that pocket knife, in her bag. " You are quite the woman, aren't you white lily? What an amazing woman you are, Allahumma barik. " I couldn't help but feel the utmost respect for her. May Allah bless you everywhere you step, showered with His fathomless mercy and love.

The woman I had encountered a year ago. The same woman I've met today. Anesati ( my lady ) who has this frozen hearts, beats again. A flower, that comes from heaven left her fragrance in my mind.