Off-Screen (무대아래에서) | Haobin

Fan-Con

Author Note: There is another short sex scene at the end of this chapter -- just a heads-up if you are skipping over those.

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They're driving down to Ulsan for a summer festival when Hanbin finally gets his chance to question Matthew. Everyone else is asleep in the car. He can tell because of the chorus of snoring. The members who don't snore are wearing earplugs so they can also get some sleep. Only Matthew looks awake, sitting next to him and playing games on his phone. They're at the back of the big SUV, with WakeOne staff driving, and Hanbin thinks this may be his only chance to speak semi-privately with Matthew for a while.

"So.... Ji-Ung Hyung," Hanbin whispers to him.

Matthew keeps playing his game and doesn't look up.

"What about him?"

"You had a crush?"

Matthew just shrugs one shoulder. It's a Canadian mannerism, and Hanbin is always a little confused by what it's supposed to mean. Matthew seems to realize that and pauses his game and looks up at Hanbin.

"It wasn't a big deal," he says more clearly. Hanbin nods in acknowledgement. "Why do you ask?"

Hanbin can't help but think how different Canada and Korea must be that a crush on a man isn't a big deal. Sending nudes isn't a big deal. What a laid-back country. Korea must feel stifling for Matthew in some ways.

"As you know... I'm dating a man..." Hanbin starts slowly. Matthew just nods as if to say, yeah, of course. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"Oh." Matthew blinks at him. "It really wasn't a big deal. I have a strong preference for women. Also, I don't want to get involved with people who are older than me. I just thought Ji-Ung Hyung was handsome and cool, that's it."

A strong preference for women... Hanbin hasn't heard that before, but does that mean he can still like men? He doesn't miss that Matthew just told him he likes to date people younger than him. That bodes well for Gunwook, at least.

"So you haven't had any other crushes on men?" Hanbin asks him quietly. "And your crush on Ji-Ung Hyung is gone now?"

"I guess... yeah, he's just my roommate now..." Matthew looks a little uncomfortable. "I've had a few, I suppose."

Hanbin just smiles at him until Matthew sighs.

"Alright, once in high school. And once after that, before Ji-Ung Hyung. I didn't do anything about any of them."

"You said you never kissed a man..." Hanbin trails off and eyes him. Matthew still looks a little uncomfortable, but not so uncomfortable that Hanbin thinks he should just drop the topic. "Do you want to?"

"Are the hyungs on a mission to bring out everyone's gay side? First Gunwook, now me!" Matthew whispers to him with sass. Hanbin nudges him, and Matthew nudges him back. "What, you're just curious? Or do you have some reason for asking?" Matthew seems to realize something. "Does someone want to kiss me?"

Hanbin shakes his head, maybe too quickly.

"It's not that. I was just curious. I wanted you to know you can talk to me about this. I didn't know this about you, and we've known each other for a long time. I was surprised by it."

"Yeah, I know I can talk to you." Matthew smiles at him. "Don't worry about me. It doesn't bother me at all. That's why I've never brought it up."

Hanbin nudges him once more. Matthew laughs softly before he turns back to his game.