Off-Screen (무대아래에서) | Haobin

Interlude: Gunwook POV Part 3

Author Note:

///Heads up that there is a Mattwook sex scene in this chapter!!///

I know I said in a previous author note that their relationship would stay innocent... please accept my guilty apologies ㅠ.ㅠ. I figured after 200k words I should resolve this Big Problem that I set up for them.

The sex scene is after the final break, if you do want to skip it.

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After their comeback show, Matthew Hyung apologized to Gunwook over and over that he didn't tell him about Taerae Hyung confessing his love to him. Gunwook knew Matthew Hyung didn't mean to upset him right before the show. Matthew Hyung has no filter, and he can't keep secrets. But that's also why Gunwook was so surprised and hurt that he kept this secret about Taerae Hyung so well for so long.

Hanbin Hyung convinced Gunwook not to dislike Taerae Hyung for confessing to Matthew Hyung, but Gunwook isn't happy with him. Taerae Hyung confessed to his boyfriend, and even if he just did it to "get it off his chest", as Hanbin told Gunwook -- which Gunwook can grudgingly understand -- it still feels shitty. Taerae Hyung could have warned Gunwook. He could have talked to him about it, but he didn't say a word. He left it all up to Matthew, whom they both know avoids uncomfortable conversations until he can't anymore. Matthew Hyung avoided it until he accidentally blurted it out while they were both trying to comfort him.

"Everyone's going to think I'm an idiot who can't read," Matthew Hyung whispered to them when the staff refused to slow down the teleprompter for their Melting Shop show. Anxiety was pouring off of him. Taerae Hyung rubbed his back, and Gunwook rubbed his shoulders.

"You can do this. You just need to focus," Gunwook reassured him.

"No one will think you're an idiot, you just didn't grow up here. It's okay if you stumble a little," Taerae Hyung tried.

"Yeah, we don't think you're an idiot."

"We don't, we think you're brilliant," Taerae Hyung added with a big smile.

"People who aren't in love with me are going to think I'm an idiot," Matthew Hyung muttered, clearly impervious to their efforts to cheer him up.

"...In love?" Gunwook said when he processed that.

Matthew Hyung went white and looked at Taerae Hyung in panic, and that's when Gunwook understood.

Hanbin Hyung broke up their argument before it could really start. He calmed Gunwook down and convinced him that Matthew Hyung really loved him, and he wasn't hiding this from him because he secretly preferred Taerae Hyung. Or something. Gunwook didn't have a logical reason why he was upset, he just knew he was upset. He felt like Matthew Hyung didn't trust him, or maybe that Matthew Hyung trusted Taerae Hyung more, or maybe... Matthew Hyung was afraid of him, and that's why he didn't tell him things.

But he thinks Hanbin Hyung was right about one thing at least -- Matthew Hyung isn't afraid of him, specifically. That was Gunwook's own insecurities coming out. But Matthew's still afraid of something, and Gunwook hasn't been able to help him much with those fears. He thinks he's helped a little, but not enough. Matthew Hyung is relaxed with him now during moments when he used to be tense, and Gunwook thinks that's the result of his consistent efforts to show him affection and loyalty. Matthew Hyung prizes loyalty the most, and Gunwook can easily provide that. He doesn't want anyone else, and he's wanted Matthew Hyung practically since they became band-mates.

Their comeback was nonstop. They were up early for hair and makeup, on the road for interviews or performances, or constantly in rehearsal or learning special choreography for the awards shows -- usually in whatever dressing room they were using that day rather than their own practice room. They didn't have any time to themselves. Gunwook didn't talk much with Taerae and he barely had alone time with Matthew Hyung so they could do couple things together. On top of his own problems, his two best friends were struggling with their recent break-up -- Gyubin and Ricky were navigating going back to being "just friends", and Gunwook found himself constantly involved in their relationship. That had been the case since he learned they were dating. One or the other usually brought their relationship problems to Gunwook to solve -- because he was the "smart one", according to both of them -- but Gunwook didn't understand how they suddenly had so many problems when their relationship was so easy when they were friends. He liked them best as friends, personally, but now that they were back to being "just friends" it was worse than when they were a couple. They were more awkward with each other, and sensitive about strange things that Gunwook couldn't predict. They would go quiet suddenly over seemingly nothing. They weren't... angry with each other, exactly, but Gunwook could tell they both still wanted to be dating and they just couldn't figure out how to do it well.