His Marionette

(Chapter 15) I...I Love You Hae

We paused for a second to take in the night sky's view, the ocean's sound, and the cool breeze. I was so used to feeling like my life was passing me by and being complacent with my life back in America. In this very moment with Jun by my side, but especially ever since coming to Korea I've been able to live again. My mind is racing with possibilities and I finally figuring out my dreams/dreaming big. Sometimes those of us stuck in a miserable, painful, toxic environment for a long time, become desensitized to the trauma and effects on our lives it can evoke. I've always dreamt of the moment when I would be able to escape and leave my hometown, and now that dream is a reality.

Hae, Jun said as he turned and looked at me.

yeah? I asked.

I want to apologize again for your first impressions of me. There is no excuse for my behavior and my compliance with Dae's actions. That's not how you treat another human being regardless of your own personal situations. I take full responsibility for my actions. Jun stated.

Oh wow, am I your parent now? I said chuckling.

Hae! I'm trying to be serious right now. Jun said while chuckling.

Alright, thank you I appreciate it! I replied.

Why did you act like that initially? It made me so confused especially when you all of a sudden switched up your act. I asked.

My dad is extremely homophobic and the epitome of an alpha male. I have a lot of unprocessed trauma from that time in my life before my parents split. He has a lot of high expectations for me, he also has a seat on the school's board. So I'm sure as you can imagine he likes Dae a lot and always hated that I liked my friends in my mom's neighborhood a lot better, for example, Hyun. After what happened with my sister I stayed with my dad and he would be abusive towards me. While I was in this kind of venerable state he made it his mission to make Dae and me closer and eventually, we did grow a tighter genuine brotherly bond. Or at least I thought we did, I fell into their ideology trap and influence. Especially since at that time I was in high school, teenagers are very impressionable, naive, and dumb and that's what I was. That's pretty much a quick sum up, Jun stated.

Everything's starting to make a lot more sense, I take it your dad would threaten you financially and use your spot in the school against you? I asked.

Bingo, Jun replied.

Why would he treat you like that though? I asked.

He is my stepdad, my real dad died when I was three but he is my sister's real dad. I always sensed he never really liked me but it became even more blatant when my sister died. Jun replied.

Damn, Jun you've been through a lot. I'm honestly surprised you're even keeping this together. I stated.

Some people can act out and react irrationally while others don't. I just simply don't, Jun replied.

Makes sense, I replied as we both looked out into the water.

Are you cold? Jun replied as he looked at me, noticing me shaking a little.

I'm okay, I replied.

Jun then pulled me closer as he stared into my eyes.

For some reason hearing his scars and everything he's been through made him so much more attractive to me. I wanted to show my admiration and show him he had me. So I decided to do something bold.

I then leaned in and pressed my lips passionately into his.

We began sharing a very steamy kiss, our tongues slowly danced, and I could feel my body heat increasing.

Jun then turned towards me as we continued to kiss and I leaned back onto the blanket. He followed and lay on top of me kissing me back.

I....I love you Hae, Jun said softly in between us locking lips again.

I was shocked. He loves me already, and although we've been through so much we still only knew each other for a few months. Instead of answering with my head, I answered straight from my heart.

I love you too Jun, I replied.

We continued where we left off, he began kissing his way down to my neck. I felt myself wanting Jun, my body couldn't deny it anymore.

Jun....I'm a virgin, I said

He paused and then looked into my eyes deeply.

Hae, I've never done it with a guy, so it'll be both our first time. I'll be extra careful, let me know at any point if it's too much or if you want to stop. Jun replied.

I nodded in agreeance, he continued to kiss my neck.

He then stopped as we both stripped down, He then reached into his wallet for a condom.

As we got into missionary I could feel my body naturally fall into submission as he entered inside me. We were pretty far into the beach and in a more private area but the adrenaline of Jun taking my virginity and us fucking next to the water turned me on.

It was a foreign feeling for me at first but after I got used to it I started to enjoy myself as Jun was making love to me slowly and passionately. I finally knew what people were talking about when they would say 'fucking like we're in love'.

I kept letting out several loud moans, yelling out Jun's name as he continued deep inside me. Jun kept expressing his love in his moans, repeatedly telling me he loved me. I could feel him going faster and faster, harder and harder. He was pleasing me in all the right places, it's like he finally could indulge in me. He couldn't keep his hands off me.

After thirty minutes I couldn't feel and hear Jun starting to reach his destination so I began to join him. As he let out one last powerful thrust into me we both let out moans full of pleasure.

Damn, Jun said.

W...Was it good, I asked insecurely as I didn't know what I was doing.

It was amazing Hae, He replied as he cupped my cheek and kissed me.

We got clothed and cuddled a little bit before realizing how late it was, we then headed back to Ms. Kim's house where I fell asleep peacefully in Jun's arms.