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Sitting against the wall

Adam took the plastic container from my hand and opened it. "So, what do you even do in a party? Besides eating.." I asked him, speaking up because of how loud the music was.

"You know.. hang out, talk to people, do dumb shit? Have you not been to a party before?" Adam raised an eyebrow at me and also had a look of sympathy and confusion. Did he think I was a loser in high school and just never got invited to parties? Or did he think I just hated being around people? Did he feel bad for taking me here, for 'forcing' me? 

I shook my head. "No, I have. I just didn't go out too much. I mean, I haven't been to one this big before." I look around the kitchen and out the hallway that lead to a swarm of people. The couple from before was now gone and some people walked in and out from the room, but other then that it was just us two. Adam nodded in response and pulled another pack of cigarettes. He tried to be discreet about it just so no one could ask him for one. I caught a glimpse of the pack when he opened it, there was only a few left. Adam lit his first and handed me one, along with his lighter. We both stood there near the back corner of the kitchen smoking. We didn't say a word to each other, we didn't bother too. It was just a moment, a moment that didn't require it. I thought that this party was going to be a bad decision but so far it's not.

A group of three teens walked in the kitchen, they told us they were looking for the drinks. Me and Adam looked at each other when they said that. We both had the same thought. 'Drinks? Like alcohol?' Adam searched with the high schoolers looking for them, I only stood there watching. Eventually, they found them. Adam didn't grab one but he did try and offer me a can but I told him I was okay. The night got more darker and so did the lights. Before we knew it, they had simple disco lights on in the living room and main area. Some lights flashed from the hallway to the kitchen. At this point, it was safe to say me and Adam were half out of it.

"Do you know what that was?" I leaned back on the kitchen counter facing Adam, who was closer the the corner of the room.

"Huh? What do you mean?" He tilted his head by a little.

"With Sarah and that other girl?"

"Uhhh.. you mean Eveline?" Adam pointed at me.

"Maybe? That girl who woks there at Hot Topic with you. Black hair?" Adam looked away thinking for a moment.

"Who's Sarah again?"

"My friend?" Now that I think about it, I don't think he even knew her name. Or maybe he just didn't remember.

"Oh yeah, that crazy one." He laughed. I admit I let out a chuckle as well. But I wouldn't tell Sarah that. I faced away from Adam and covered a yawn. I felt a bit dizzy and tired. When I turned back around, Adam was looking away and took a breath of smoke. I can't remember how many we smoked. 3...maybe 4? But eventually, Adam was left with one last cigarette. My eyes burned a bit and my cheeks felt fuzzy. Adam lit the last cigarette and slowly took a deep breath of it. He held it in and silently handed it to me. The music of the party seemed to fill my ears with a deep low fuzz. I felt the bass and the beat of the song while leaning on the counter. I took the cigarette from Adam's hand and slowly raised it to my lips. 

Adam gently grabbed my hand and led me out of the kitchen. The crowd seemed to have gotten just a little less crammed. Some people around us were talking to each other while a few made slight dance movements. The place felt cold, it smelled of alcohol and cigarettes. When we made it to the the living room I saw a bunch of high schoolers dancing, making out, and drinking. None of them seemed to notice or care about us walking in. Even if I wanted I couldn't tell you why but me and Adam kept passing each other the last cigarette. It hadn't even came to my mind what I was doing. Eventually, we both became tired and just sat on the floor in the living room against one of the walls.

I could only assume everyone else standing up started becoming more energetic and caused a dance battle because they kept cheering and yelling. I watched what I could of the people jumping up and down. Some kept giving comments to others while the majority cheered and shook with excitement. Watching them reminded me of how exhausting I felt. My eye lids fell low and I lost interest of the crowd. I turned my head to look at Adam, how was sitting next to me, to talk about what everyone was doing. But when I turned around, he was looking like he was about to talk to me as well. Me and him played the silent game of  'Who gets to talk first' which just ment me and him both stare at each other until the other speaks up. All of a sudden, I got this weird feeling. A feeling in my stomach, I didn't feel good but my head was telling me otherwise. My whole body felt cold and yet it felt like it was burning. Everything was just so confusing. My body felt so bad but my head kept making it a good thing. I was so focused on what was happening to me that I didn't even notice Adam gradually leaned forward, closer to me.

The highlights on his face, from the disco lights somewhere else, made it harder to tell what he was doing. Every second that passed made me forget the previous. After all this convincing that my mind did to make me believe how what my body felt like was a good experience, it turned against me. I seemed to mirror what Adam was doing. I closed my eyes without hurry. I stayed still as I waited for what was next. I couldn't see Adam nor what he was doing, every millisecond made me more and more anxious. Then I felt a gentle warm feeling on the side of my face. Before I could react, I felt his hair brush against my forehead and poked at my hair. Then I felt him faintly inhale before we finally kissed.

I froze, not knowing what to do. I knew this was going to happen, I anticipated it. Yet I still freaked out on the inside. It wasn't like this was my first ever kiss but it was my first in a while. I've kissed a girl once back in middle school but I was dared to and I hardly knew her.. now it's all happening at once. My first 'real' kiss. From someone I still hardly knew.

I felt tingles come to my head, then a headache followed. Adam pulled away and I opened my eyes. He had his hand on my face. I jumped a little when I realized that. He lowered his hand, "Sorry." He looked away. 

"No.. no it's okay." I smiled and he seemed to feel better. He waited a bit before leaning in again. My stomach twisted. I let him kiss me again. It felt just like the one before. We stayed like that just a moment longer.

AN:

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