I Will Rescue You | Elizabeth Olsen

48. "everything... hurts"

this would have been so much better if i actually posted it on halloween😭

-

October 31st

DAISY's POV

I've had my fair share of hospital trips, but none of which have ever ended up with me being restrained. These handcuffs are hurting my wrists and I can loudly hear Lizzie ordering the nurses to take them off immediately.

She's angry. I would be too if I was in her situation. She's had to take me to hospital three times now, she must be so sick of me.

My body aches with how fast my muscles have been relaxed due to the sedation. I feel panicky but also calm. But it feels like a false sense of security, especially because Lizzie isn't with me right now.

Robbie's loitering outside the room, watching as Lizzie yells at every member of hospital staff that comes by until finally, she physically drags one of them in and they unlock the cuffs.

From what I can see out of the corner of my eye, my arm has been bandaged, which I don't even remember happening.

Have I really been that out of it?

To be honest, it has felt like I've just been assaulted by my brother again. I'm in as much pain, physically and mentally, as I was when it happened.

And there's nothing I can do about it, just like last time.

"Daisy," Lizzie's now soft voice speaks. I can only raise my eyebrows for the acknowledgment of her voice. This sedation is stopping me from having the energy to talk just now. "Daisy, the handcuffs are gone..."

My brain acknowledges what she's saying, but can't respond.

Is this what being paralyzed feels like? Knowing that your brain won't coordinate with your body no matter what you do? I can't move. I can't do anything, nothing at all.

Next thing I know, my eyes are slowly closing and my head sinks further into the pillow. Perhaps I just need to sleep it off.

-

ELIZABETH's POV

After a few hours of her sleeping, it now being six pm, my child's eyes finally start fluttering open and both Robbie and I stand up from our chairs and slowly inch closer to her.

It takes her a little while to adjust to the light and fully wake up, but eventually she turns over to face us, one singular tear falling down her face despite her expression being completely stoic.

She can't keep winding up in this situation, she needs to get to therapy. I won't force her to keep doing it, but I will be very persistent in trying at least one session.

"Hi, sweetheart," I whisper as softly as I can. "How are you feeling?"

Before answering, she flicks her eyes up at Robbie and then brings them back down to me.

We all know what that signal means by now, so Robbie excuses himself and goes outside the room, shutting the door behind him.

Once he's gone, a quiet and anguished voice speaks.

"Everything... hurts."

I nod understandingly. "I know. But it's over now, Daisy. Did that doctor explain to you what it is that happened?"

"Yeah. Some sort of weird type of flashback. That's never happened before."

Sighing, I perch myself on the edge of the hospital bed. "That's because you've never been in a safe enough place to feel that. But you are now, so your body took all those years of repression, and pushed it all out in one go. But your brain and body couldn't handle all of that. And Dais, if nothing changes, this is what'll happen every year. Your arm having to be bandaged and you in a hospital bed. I know you're not keen on the idea, but just let me book you one therapy appointment, that's all."

Without hesitation, Daisy agrees. By now, she realizes how bad it's gotten and I'm sure that she's screaming out for help. I just wish I had made her try therapy a lot sooner. Maybe we wouldn't be in this hospital or in this predicament.

"Does... does Robbie know why-"

"I've only told him that it's a traumatic day for you. Nothing more," I assure her. Never would I ever tell someone something about her trauma without her permission. Especially with something like this.

She lets out a heavy sigh as she brings her left hand to wrap around her right wrist. She twists her hand around it a few times, trying to soothe the redness that the cuffs caused. She shouldn't have been in them, and certainly not ones that tight.

"I'm sorry. For all the pain that I've caused. The worrying, the anger, the-"

"I'm gonna stop you right there, sweetheart," I cut her off in a soft voice. "There is no need to apologize. I'm your... I'm your Lizzie. I'm meant to be here for all the ups and downs, including the extreme ones."

The silence that follows my words is loud. Her anxiety is radiating onto me. It's as if I can feel every worry she has right now. If I know Daisy, and I do, she's probably got it in her head that this whole situation is too much for me and I'm gonna abandon her.

That's the furthest thing from the truth, because this only makes me want to stick by her side even more.

"Can I lay down with you, Dais?"

Once I get a nod, I shuffle myself into the small hospital bed and get as comfortable as I can in a mattress designed for only one person. We're both fairly small so it's not too crowded, but it would be a lot nicer in one of our beds at home.

I'd never want to pressure Daisy into doing something she isn't completely okay with, however I do slide my left arm under her back and use it to pull her into me slowly. I don't want to just yank her towards me since that would be unkind and startle her. Plus, doing it slowly gives her a chance to pull away.

But she doesn't, and I soon have my teenager's head on my chest and my arms wrapped around her fragile body.

We spend the next half hour in complete silence. The only sound is coming from the subtle hubbub outside of the room, such as nurses having conversations or receiving phone calls.

Robbie rejoins us after some time out in the hall. I don't think Daisy minds. I mean, she managed to fall asleep on him, which shows that progress is being made.

He just stays sat in the chair whilst I cuddle our girl.

Everything feels slow. Peaceful. Until Daisy speaks up.

"Lizzie... I don't think I'm fine anymore."

-

hi:) this isn't proofread so do expect spelling mistakes

also 24 days until i meet the woman i'm literally writing about in this book. that's absolutely insane