rewrite of "everything i wanted"
part 1 - it's time to go
that old familiar body ache
the snaps from the same little breaks
in your soul , you know
when it's time to go
part 2 - the great war
always remember
tears on the letters
i vowed not to cry...
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⋆ ୨ ♡ ୧ ⋆
"HEY LEAH?" DEREK walked over to emily and leah who were sitting at their desks and chatting now. it had been a little while since the incident. leah looked up at him. derek cleared his throat, "he wants to see you."
her breath hitched for a moment, but looked at emily who gave her a reassuring look before she stood up and walked to the breakroom. she entered the room, and he was sat in a spare chair, with another empty one standing across from him. he looked up at the noise the door made as she opened it. he stood up.
"i just want to start," he started. "by saying that you are one of my favorite people on this earth. and i will never be able to express how sorry i am for not only last night, but also my outburst a bit ago. it was unfair to you in both situations."
leah stood still. she knew he wasn't done speaking yet, regardless of the pause. she just nodded slowly.
"last night's explanation will take a bit, but i said what i said this morning just because i had a rough night. i stayed up all night thinking about the night before and once derek began teasing, i wasn't able to control my emotions. please know that i understand that no matter what the circumstance were, i shouldn't have said what i said, and as much as it seems like i regretted last night, i really did have a lot of fun hanging out with you-"
"then why did you leave?" leah's eyes began filling with tears, but she fought to keep her composure.
he took a deep breath.
"i...was very selfish last night. that was why i left, although, after speaking with morgan, i realize it was selfish to leave you like i did as well. i'm truly very sorry."
leah was still confused.
"it was wrong of me to complain about my childhood to you, leah. i know your story, about everything you've been through, yet i still had the audacity to complain about my own home life. it was so selfish, and after realizing it, i didn't know how to process it. so i just left, thinking you'd be better off without me. that's why i pushed you away this morning, too. i could never be more sorry, you deserve much more than me, even if morgan says otherwise. you're one of the best people i know and...maybe, i don't deserve you."
a few stray tears flooded leah's vision and stained her face. she walked closer to him, simply wrapping her arms around him.
"i accept your apology for leaving and pushing me away," she started. "but don't you ever apologize for simply talking about your life. i understand why you think what you said was selfish, but as your friend, i'm here for you for this kind of stuff. even if you think i had it worse, that doesn't mean what you went through wasn't important. i want you to come with me for this stuff, okay?"
spencer nodded, tears welling up in his eyes as well.
"and two, don't you ever, for one more second, think that i don't deserve you or that you don't deserve me. i need you to promise me that, because it is the furthest from the truth. you're my friend, and i'm yours. we need each other, okay?"
he nodded. "okay," it was barely audible.
"good. now hug me." he smiled and did so. "and, friend, as part of this deal, you're coming with me tonight to hazel campbell's apartment. her husband is letting us look around."
"okay, do you really think something's wrong? like maybe it was murder or something?"
"i'm not sure. i do think something weird is going on, and i'm dying to find out."
"okay, fill me in later?"
"deal." she turned to walk out of the break room and back to their desks. however, spencer grabbed her hand and pulled her back towards him. "i'm sorry again," he said, still holding her hand. "for everything."
she walked closer to him, almost pressed against his body now. "don't be." she stood on her tiptoes and kissed his cheek, catching not only spencer, but also leah herself by surprise.
she turned to walk out again, feeling her face get redder with each step. she honestly didn't expect herself to do that. yet, there she stood, having kissed spencer reid on his perfect little cheek.
she walked back over to the desks. "is everything good?" derek asked leah. she smiled at him. "everything's great." spencer then came over to his desk and sat down. "hey. kid," derek looked towards spencer, his eyes showing question. spencer looked up at him.
"you got a little something right there," derek pointed to his own cheek, seeing that there was a faint trace of lip gloss on spencer's cheek. leah went beet red once again, embarrassed at herself as spencer wiped his cheek with his hand. "i'm, uh," leah quickly said, standing up and beginning to walk away, knowing what was coming. "i'm going to head to the break room, um, yeah."
"oh, i'll come!" morgan chimed in. "oh, no, der, you really don't have to-" but alas, she was already halfway there, and he was trailing behind her. "no, truly, i insist," he responded.
they both entered the break room mere moments later. "'not a date', she said," derek started. "'me and spencer are just friends', she said." "we are just friends." "then why was there lip gloss on his cheek?"
"because i kissed him?" leah stated, making it sound like a question, and also making it sound like it was no big deal.
"why are you acting like this isn't huge?" "because it's truly not." "yes it is! i knew you and boy wonder liked each other-"
leah walked up to derek and kissed him on his cheek. "see! i could kiss you on the cheek and it didn't mean anything."
