Boundless •L.S•

The News|27

Sometimes, you can feel alone even though you are not. Even if you are in the middle of a crowd, you can feel the most alone.

Lea has come to terms with feeling alone. She knows that it is a part of life - or maybe just her life, maybe.

It's that crawling feeling on your stomach and the feeling of wanting to curl into a ball and disappear.

Perhaps just falling asleep until everything bad that is happening goes away.

It's the feeling of being empty and emotionally drained when you can barely put up a smile to fool others - or better, yourself, even if it's just for a flicker of seconds.

When you feel like putting an end to everything, you're not even strong enough to do that either.

It's every negative thought coming and crashing down on you, the weight on your shoulders finally feeling like it's too much to carry, the dim light at the end of this endless dark tunnel down until it's nothing but darkness.

The desperate urge to feel something, anything at all, but...

But at the end, of the day, despite everything, you are still lying on your unmade bed, staring up at the ceiling and questioning; What the hell am I doing, What is the point?

It doesn't feel like there is a point, not really, not ever...

So you are frantic, it starts looking scary;

'Why am I like this.'

Hysterical and hopeless, trying to stop feeling this way, You go out, and you get crazy you do things to stop feeling something.

No limits, completely boundless, you don't think things through, everything just happens like a blurry whirlwind, so fast so, fierce.

Until.

Until you wake up one morning, you see yourself in the mirror, and you don't recognise who it is standing in front of you.

'That's not me.'

Shuddering as you stare into the mirror. The reflection staring back at you looks like a corpse, its hollow and pale skin looking unreal, eyes empty just staring straight at you, accusingly, 'you did this!' Blaming...

And that's when reality actually crashing down on you, you actually did this, the trashed house and the alcohol littering all over the floor of your bedroom being the taunting proof of you having let go of every sense of living.

No.

One wouldn't possibly just do all of that to themselves, right?

'What have I done?'

And if you might have thought that what you have been feeling is emptiness, then the emotions suddenly start to flood in. Everything just downing on you, dumped down on you.

So you cry, you cry like a newborn child - you cry like you never have before, but oh, did you need this.

So you just wail, your knees going weak as you drop on your knees on the floor, ending up curled up in a ball as you lay in the middle of the bathroom, crying, and you don't even try to calm down, tou know you need this so you just go on.

You let yourself drown in your own salty ocean of tears.

Yeah, trying to escape that dark place was not easy - it truly is not easy.

That's when Lea had met Louis, now this is not the cliche, he made me feel at home and I was already feeling at ease - god, no.

Lea wishes it could be that easy. Perhaps in another life, she could have found the one in her life, maybe.

But this is not the case, Louis is exactly what she needed, no he did not bring the light to her dark tunnel but he made her understand that in that endless tunnel she isn't alone, on the contrary, she didn't have to feel so aline anymore.

At first, it was hard to admit just that, but with time, Lea came to terms with everything in her life, good or bad.

But that also takes a lot of time, but eventually, at least she did. That's what matters.

Lea had lost all hopes of finding that light in her life until now.

The black and white photo that she had put on her nightstand is all the proof she needs.

Newfound hope forming in her chest, now maybe it's nit as dark anymore.

She has a reason to live, to survive at least a little while longer.

A loud bang echoes through her flat, which could mean only one thing -

"You won't believe what Harry did - " Louis.

Louis and his obsession with his lover boy.

Honestly, watching the two of them tip toe around each other's feelings is annoying and amusing at the same time.

Annoying because- get married already! And amusing because, honestly, they look pathetic.

"What did Harry do this time? That's got you so happy." Lea says a soft smile, playing on her lips as her hand gently caresses her belly.

"I played piano for him, and he complemented me." Louis says, faking a squeal, making Lea smile.

"Alright, keep on acting like you don't have a major crush on him."

"Lea, I really don't." He whines going for the fridge and grabbing a bottle of water.

"Sure, honey, tell me that at your wedding."

The blue-eyed lad rolls his eyes with a small smile etching on his lips, "I will!"

"I know!" She laughs before turning up the volume on her TV and going through different channels.

Times passes by with Lea going from one channel to the other, and Louis has gotten into comfortable clothes, his music book laying on his lap, and his pen clutched in his hand.

It's peaceful.

The low vole of the TV and the pens quiet noise of scribbling on his notebook.

As Lea, one again changes the channel she lands on the news.

She is about to skip it when -

"What's this?" Louis says as he looks a little longer at the television.

"Lou..." she says quietly as she increases the volume.

"That's Harry's house, L." Louis' voice is shaky as his eyes roam the television screen, trying to see what was going on, his hands looking blindly for his phone.

"It was Henry..."