"I don't care, I'm tired of girls texting me on some tryna be funny shit or new shit popping up about you." I argued
"It ain't no new shit if it's old shit that happened, don't start that." Joseon argued back
"Does it matter, it's new to me." I scoffed
"Bruh, it's old shit so why you even letting girls get in yo head." He said
"No one is getting in my head, it's the fact that everybody got a story with you ever since the break up. And you acting like that shit is cute." I said
"What is you even talking bout? How I think sum shit cute?" He looked at me like I was slow
"You really thought fucking and sucking with hella different hoes was cute? I can guarantee you that shit is far from P." I said being petty
"Nobody even said that shit was P. And why you even stressing this shit when I did allis when we broke up because of what YOU did." He pointed at me
"Oh okay so, when you was wanting me back and seeing I was doing good with Dexter it was "I was wrong for how I treated you and all this that" but now that you got me where you want it's because of what I did." I shook my head
"No, this is because of what you did. Had you not lied to me about some shit I wouldn't have even fucked with the guy that got me pregnant. You really a sorry ass nigga for saying some shit like that." I said about to walk away but he gripped my wrist
"You hid that shit because you know you was slimey but I still apologized for what I did but youn find no wrongs in what you did." He said
"JOSEON, okay. You literally flipping the switch from the real issue." I said
"Ain't no real issue, you letting girls get in yo head about me. Who fuck you and love you, me or them?" He asked
"Does it matter when you acting how you acting? Nobody told you to go out and fuck those girls, and you did it for what? To hurt me because then it did not but now, I don't even know." I huffed
"You saying what I did while we was broken up is hurting you now, you on some backwards shit. We wasn't together at all, dude." He said
"You think Ion know that? I was getting dick and love during the mean time so I'm aware." I said to piss him off making him look at me then push me against the wall
"Dick and love? These niggas don't love you, Mila. If they did, you would still be wit em right now. But where you at? You wit me, you like to talk crazy to get under my skin but shit don't faze me." He said in my ear, he was making me some typa way but I couldn't explain it
"Get off me, why would I even take you back? You already showed me that you a hoe." I pushed him off me
"You can say Ima hoe but don't no nigga love you like I do, Havalli. You can get mad about these girls texting you and you act like you wasn't the reason for us breaking up-" He started but I stopped him
That was honestly my last straw, I didn't like how he tried to apologize at first but now that he got me where he want he acting like he never apologized
"Joseon." I took a deep breath
"Just stop talking to me. You making me- you making me sick." I said before throwing up all over his shoes, it was not on purpose
He looked at me then at his shoes with an unreadable expression but I was standing there in shock
"I don't wanna be with you." I blurted out then walked to my room locking the door
I went in the bathroom and brushed my teeth then sat against the floor crying meanwhile he tried to unlock the door
"Mila, unlock the door." He said then I heard him sitting against the door too
"We don't need to be together, I see the red flags. in both of us and it's not gon work." I cried
"Why you crying?" He asked still tryna open the door
I reached my hand up and unlocked the door, he cracked the door open and grabbed my hand, locking our fingers
"It's just I don't know- I really don't know why I'm crying. We just shouldn't be together, I'll give you back the car and whatever else but I don't like the predicament." I sighed
"I don't like the feeling of not being able to trust you, I don't like feeling like you're a hoe. I don't like KNOWING everyone's had what I want, but probably don't need." I broke down before he shushed me
"Why you can't trust me?" He asked gripping my hand more
"Because you're right, the girls do get in my head and I can't just stop that. I'm not finna try to be controlling." I said
"Why you feel like Ima hoe?" He asked
"I'm tired, I'm tired of these girls texting me and I'm tired of thinking of how you did me. I know that I haven't truly forgave you, I only said so because I wanted to be with you." I expressed
"And I still do but if it's not good for me and I know that, I'm gonna let go." I sniffed
"Havalli." He said
"Hm?" I questioned
"I'm finna come in and lay wit you, I know I hurt you. And somehow still is. I don't know what's wrong wit me, just lay wit me." He said making me scoot forward so he could come in
When he did come in he pulled me off the ground and we laid together, he rubbed my head giving me forehead kisses every now and then
We both couldn't go to sleep, everything just be coming crashing down on me for what? I don't know
Maybe I'm gay and God tryna tell me
"Joseon, I don't wanna break up. Space." I said
"What you mean by space?" He tried not to mug me
"I don't wanna break up, I wanna be together but we need space, change, and apologies." I said
"Mila, I can't do nothing about them girls though." He said
"I realize it's not about them girls, it's about my trust issues wit you and me not fully forgiving you." I sighed
"So we together?" He rubbed my forehead and I nodded
"Space." I rubbed his bare chest
"How long?" He raised his eyebrow
"We'll know when we ready." I said
YOU ARE READING
IDGAF
Humorin·fat·u·a·tion • /inˌfaCHəˈwāSH(ə)n/ a feeling of foolish or obsessively strong love for, admiration for, or interest in someone or something