My Diary Thingy That at Times Can be Hilarious

Little Kid Rant (revised a year later as well)

Since we all have that annoying little kid in life, here's a rant about how horrible they really are.

They are first priority.
Like if they are thirsty and you're thirsty and there's only one water, they get it. What, if we were both falling off a cliff you'd save the little kid, then look down to see if I survived?

They ALWAYS get what they want.
"I want a piece of candy!"
"Me too!"
"Sorry (y/n) you can't have any because (kids name) is younger than you and therefore they are much more needy/important!"

They never get in trouble.

Example:
Little kid: splashes you in the pool. You: splashes back.
Mom/dad: HEY (y/n) YOU GET BACK HERE AND APOLOGIZE TO (kids name)!!!!! THEY NEVER DID ANYTHING TO YOU!!!
You: But he splashed ME first!!!
Mom/dad: OH (y/n) I DONT WANT ANY EXCUSES!!!

Mom and dad always expect you to play with them. This is self explanatory.

They are always NAKED!

Example:
*Le you walks into living room*
(Kid): WAAAAAHAAHAAAAAAA
Parent: Stop... hold still..... gotta put this stupid diaper on!"
*Le you walks out of room*

To a little kid, everything hurts.

Kid trips on a rock and won't stop crying.... water drops in kids face while raining and they again never shut up... kid gets yelled at by parents and is balling their eyes out...

Kids are attention whores.

MOM MOM MOM MOM MOM MOM!!!!! LOOK! I can see my nose!
MOM MOM MOM MOM MOM MOM MOM MOM!!! I can lick my chin!!! DAD DAD DAD DAD DAD DAD DAD PLAAAAAAY WITH MEEEEEE!!!!!

Kids are always forgiven.

*you accidentally break a lamp*
Mom/dad: (y/n) YOU GET OVER HERE, CLEAN THUS UP, AND PAY FOR IT SO I CAN BUY A NEW ONE!!!!

*little kid breaks a lamp*
Mom/dad: Aww, (kids name) it's okay just don't do it again, okay? Let me get some ice cream for you.

...

I hope you guys enjoyed this painfully relatable rant

-ØNE TERRIBLY LØNG YEAR LATER-

~~most of my revised version literally has nothing to do with little kids being annoying sometimes. but it kinda deals with what I was going through before so I guess it's kinda relevant. whatever. here u go:

DAMMIT THIS IS A YEAR LATER ME AND I CAN CONFIRM I AM WAS USED TO BEING THE YOUNGEST CHILD WHAT THE FUCK AM I EVEN??? SERIOUSLY. THEYRE REALLY NOT THAT BAD. IM SORRY I WAS SUCH A PRIVILEGED WHITE CHILD.

THINGS ARE GETTING BETTER. (TWENTY ONE PILOTS HAS SAVED YOUR LIFE.) Remember three years ago today you wanted to die? Yea I'm talking about Blackberry. You know she's up in heaven. Stop whining. It's been a few years?

Done with ur shit little me. U used to be homophobe??? Ur a lil hypocrite ya hear me? UR FUKIN BI U STUPID DUMMY! geez. >:| You're gonna ship DESTIEL and JOSHLER and OTHER GAY THINGS. You used to cry abt those stupid warts on ur hands? they gone. You totally wanted to date richard? ya did. he dumped u tho. that's ok bc he's a fuckboy. don't date fuckboys. don't.

God's doing everything he can for u, so stop it. can't believe what a lil bitch I was geez. ....I say as I listen to Trapdoor on repeat, crying, in sweatpants, and eating goldfish crackers. jk. i was doing that earlier tho. ....

ALSO WHY DA FUQ U SO HYPED FOR FNAF? YOU WERE PART OF THE CANCEROUS FANBASE?! GROSS. I say as I obsess in a fUCKING CULT OF A FANDOM, TWENTY ONE PILOTS.

ok but still good choice in music I'm still listening to Marina and the Diamonds ... <:D

it's been a year since ur mom fucking basically disowned u, u HAVENT killed urself yet, ur going to a concert in a few months, u got three friends but they alright!, no datemate but a p strong feeling next one'll be a girl?, u kinda ruined ur summer by fuckin up ur knee but that's ok bc ur physical therapist is aight fam???, you really want to be a rebel and smoke but that kills animals around u and that's awful, you love your new smaller siblings more than the one who usually stuck by ur side ur entire life. he's fucking disgusting and you've lost all respect for that piece of shit., seriously tho I fucking hate thomas, ...ur a lil depressed that ur mum likes her friend's kid better than u... ur really just property to her. Screw her. ms shannon has better intentions than ur actual POS mom. she pushed u down onto the ground on ur bad leg?! she has all ur fucking money? she still has all ur games n ur electronics AND YOUR FUCKING ANIMALS??? hasn't replied to ur texts/emails/calls since ur surgery???, yeah. fuck u mom. (I actually sent her an email stating that exactly)....

ok. ur not really THAT happy. u kind of obsess over tøp and that's really not normal. but at least it could be worse? u could be living on the streets in Chicago or something. please just stay optimistic. God has a plan :0