My Diary Thingy That at Times Can be Hilarious

My Backstory (LONG!)

Part 2 to "hot babe^"

2013

Life here in Gulf Breeze. I moved in April, usually spring is a good time for me, but this was turning terrible.

My grandmother was visiting and she told me how cool it would be to have my own room and have a "secret garden" to keep me from thinking about the cons of this place.

Of course it never helped, remembering the good times I've had at my other house. My tree house was thrown out because we could not transport it to our new so called 'home', and I would be leaving all my friends behind.

Summer came, and as usual it was boiling hot. We had just moved so we couldn't go up north to see my other family. We stayed down in Florida, trying to ignore the cockroach infestation and the steamy days.

Then tragedy struck. My mom went outside to mow the lawn, and on her way to the shed, she saw Blackberry laying down in the grass under the canoe.

My BFF Jessie (Greenunicornsrock) was over when it happened. My mom ran inside and told us Blackberry wasn't feeling well and her chin had a big scratch (or what we thought was a scratch).

We rushed to the car, me crying my head off. My dad and brother insisted she'd be fine, but they were wrong.

When we finally arrived at the pet hospital, they took her in immediately. After what seemed like eternity, they came out with sad looks on their faces. My face was already drenched with tears, and they didn't stop.

The nurse said her head was cracked and surgery was the only way to fix it. But it was too expensive.... so we had to let her go. That was basically the end of me. Real me. My spirit died. Just like Blackberry.

After the death of both of us, I went to summer camp, Winshape, at a church. Although tiring, it was a far stretch from fun. I always kept my thoughts on Blackberry. At the end if the day we'd be worn out, endlessly searching for sleep until we found it.

I took flag football, art and archery. Flag football was exhausting and I was the only girl. Archery was boring because the bows were the least bit accurate and we only had two arrows each. Art was very fun. Of course I'm an artist, so yeah.

We ate Chick-fill-a at lunch and the church was huge, and we walked everywhere, so we were hungry by 11:00 even though lunch was at 1:00.

The plays they hosted were funny, but I was still sad, because Summer camp was just two weeks after.

School

When I first went to my stupid school, I hated it. I still hate it. Since we had the 4th grade Writing Test that year, we ALWAYS HAD TO WRITE ESSAYS. I do have to say, I was pretty good at it. Although I hated it so much.

In December came Christmas, but before anyone jumped for joy, tragedy struck once again. Starlet, the kitten we rescued from PAWS, who had a bad health record, had a heart attack.

I was watching tv when I got a bad feeling like I always do when something goes wrong. My brother barged in the room and said "Something bad happened outside... Olivia's not allowed out."

I soon got flustered, not knowing what was going on. My brother Thomas came out of my bigger, brother Patrick's room (which led to the back patio) with a sad-ish face on. He warned me not to look out the window, but I didn't listen.

I ran past him, staring out the back door window. My heart shattered again. Outside was: a crying neighbor, a concerned brother, two dogs and a dead kitten. I looked at the lifeless kitty.

What I saw were blank, scared, glazed eyes, and an expression of screaming agony. Everyone out there seemed sad. Even the two dogs. I had a terrible year and a terrible Christmas.

Then the following year, my heart was stolen. The love of my 4th grade life, Matthew patched up the holes in my broken heart. I felt what some people call true love. My heart would feel fuzzy after being with him.

On an ice day when we had no school, Matthew and I talked all night. We definitely had a weird talk!

I showed him my headgear that I have to wear at night. He showed my his sock. I showed him my shoe. We sent each other voice messages and he called me several times.

I truly felt loved for the first time by someone who's not in my family. In the morning I danced around my room from joy.... for the first time in forever.

My friend Ethan (Matthew's BFF) told me Matthew wanted to go out with me... my heart jumped! And the best part: Matthew finally DIDN'T DENY IT!!!!

Somehow when he's around, I always seem to smile. When we went to Tallahassee though, my heart broke again, though the impact wasn't as great.

My enemy, Riley, was dating my man! Enraged, sad and confused, I started to hate Riley even more. Bad enough she was racist, mean, bossy, prissy, and 'perfect'!

When the field trip was over, and we went back to school, Matthew and Riley broke up!!! My heart sang. Although Riley was the one that insisted they should break up, Matthew was relieved too.

I asked him why he ever dated that jerk, and he said " I have no clue. I guess she was a bad choice..."

But after a while, Matthew lost interest in me and kept asking Riley to date him again. I was extremely mad! He kept asking out loud to the both of us, "HEY WHO WANTS TO GO OUT ON A DATE??!!!!" I always said yes, he would grin, but keep asking Riley.

Finally on the last day of school for Matthew, as he was coming back from the clinic himself, I went to the clinic, sick also. As I was walking he came in through the door he asked, "Hey high five?" he raised his hand in the air. I glared at him while I was walking, slowly... when I was a little bit behind him, I said "Eh what the heck." I high fived him and kinda held his hand for a second, while letting go. If there wasn't a teacher right behind us, I would have hugged or maybe even kissed him...

I give up. He'll never date me. Now all of a sudden he hates me. He hasn't talked to me this whole school year except when he's asking for something like juice. I think he's purposely ignoring me now!(5th grade,2014-15 now)

Summer! 2014

Finally got to go up north for summer, I love New Hampshire... I love nature so of course! I tried to stay solemn for the 12th, but I ended up going to the Nottingham Beach....

Fall, 2014

October was bad too. Ms. Cindy (mom's friend/ Girl Scout sister) died from cancer... and... Little Princess died too... I try not to think about her death... it was my fault so i'll leave it out... I cry every time I think about it. I'll forever be Sorry, Missy Princess.💔💔💔it's all my fault.

December, my bday month... The 20th was still bad like last year but not that bad... Christmas wasn't that bad.... Christ's Birthday is the reason for the season!

January 2015

Now. Im in Fairy Tail and a guild Night Reapers.

(Oh joy, the updates!!!)

Fifth grade has passed. I'm still single, and feeling quite alone. I'm moving schools AGAIN, but this time I'm not waiting to be asked out. I'm sick of this nonsense, what some people call "love".
I'd rather be in my room, alone, drawing a love fantasy that will remain a fantasy. I'm not sure of what next year will bring, but I'm prepared. A cold heart, mean jokes, and pencils.

Although the frustration of not being loved is getting to my soul, my heart will not be rendered by the temptation of feelings for an individual that doesn't feel the same for me. For heartbreak is one thing that doesn't mix well with a being of forgiveness.