Unwanted (Sam Winchester)

5

The student fair is happening today, and you have plans of scouting it with Sam. You knew the date on which was going to happen, so you made the arrangements even before you fought with him. Being a freshman, you aren't sure what you want to study, there are many possibilities and so little time to decide. You're supposed to be taking the mandatory courses of the general branches that every new student must pass. Nevertheless, within the same year, you also have to choose the major that's going to define the rest of your life. Some people have it easier, like Sam. He already knows he wants to go to law school. He is actively taking pre-law. You, on the other hand, are completely lost. Being the good friend that he is, Sam made a plan of going to the career fair with you.

You're sitting on a bench near the entrance of the building. Your fight with him was almost two weeks ago, and you haven't spoken. It probably has been one of the longest periods of time without his company. You're not really sure if he's going to come, but you know your friend. You're pretty certain he's not going to let you down. As mad as Sam might be with you, he always makes good on his promises. He will arrive, just have to wait a little bit longer.

In the meantime, you decide to people-watch. Stanford is a big university, so it's uncommon to suddenly find people that you know in the crowd, yet a lot of freshmen from your classes have decided to come to the fair. You don't approach anyone. You have a small group of acquaintances so far, even if you have tried to socialize as much as possible, it's still kind of limited given that you just started. You have a few class friends here in there, and you've tried to get along with your roommate lately -not that it has done much-, you also have kept contact with Brady. This last one, you're not sure yet if he's a friend or something else. You like Brady well enough, and you went out with him last Friday, but it didn't go anywhere else besides some flirty banter and a make-out session in the end. The kissing wasn't bad, but it wasn't the best you've ever had.

As you ponder these thoughts, you see someone approaching you from the corner of your eye. You turn your head around, expecting that tall friend of yours. However, the person coming your way is not Sam Winchester. You've seen him before in one of your math classes. You're not sure about his name, though, he knows yours because he calls your attention.

"Hey! What's up?" His handsome face smiles at you. He looks like an eager puppy, expecting to be acknowledged. Still, no name comes to your mind, so you decide not to call him any.

"Hi, how are you?" You don't give him time to respond. "I'm just waiting for a friend to go inside the fair." With your head, your signal to the entrance of the building, as if it's not obvious that there's an event happening inside.

He chuckles charmingly, "well, you seem pretty lonely, have you been out here for long?" He's clearly flirting, and in other circumstances, that would probably be nice, but the only thing you want to do right now is to wait for Sam and be with him.

"No, not for long," you lie, "it won't be long until he arrives." Trying not to be rude while clearly not interested in the conversation, you smile at him.

"Well, I'm going inside," at least the guy can take a hint, "if you want to join me I'll be there," or not. He winks at you and leaves.

It takes Sam another 10 minutes to show up, but he doesn't disappoint. He has a small, uncomfortable grimace-smile on his face. He only acknowledges you by nodding, which is a big contrast to his usual hug-greeting.

"For a second there, I thought you weren't coming." Your joke doesn't mask the seriousness in your voice.

In the same tone, Sam answers, "for a second there, I thought about not coming." He must see the hurt in your eyes because he quickly adds, "but I wouldn't do that to you," he looks deeply into your eyes, "never to you."

There's something in his gaze that screams at you, but you cannot pinpoint what it is, or maybe, you don't dare to acknowledge it. Whatever it is, though, it leaves as soon as it arrives. You take your eyes away from his and glimpse at the people passing by you. You cannot go inside the facility until you say what you have to.

"I don't want to keep fighting, or whatever it is that we're doing. I'm sorry if my decision for freshman year upset you, and I won't push bachelor year on to you, but I still want to do it." There's not an ounce of indecision in your voice. Whatever Sam determines for his life, he has to respect your plans.

One of the reasons that Sam Winchester is your best friend is that he is incredibly understanding and kind. A quality that shines through in this very moment.

"I see, I get it, and whatever you decide to do is up to you, but that doesn't mean I'll support it." His voice turns a bit harsher, "I really don't believe it's the right way to mourn," seeing your face, he continues immediately, "I won't say anything else."

Trying to maintain the peace, you dive into brighter topics. "Well, now that we are here, shall we go inside?"

Sam smiles at you and then pulls you to his side with an arm around your shoulders. "Come on, let's choose your major."

The fair is exactly what you expect, a room full of indecisive freshmen running around, trying to determine the rest of their lives in one single afternoon. It's kind of overwhelming at first because there are so many options that you don't even know where to begin. You go over the most famous stands, like medicine and engineering, but those are probably the more expensive majors you could choose from. Along with Sam, you're also on a full-ride scholarship and there are certain limitations of things you have to do, like getting amazingly good grades or choosing medicine -it's not covered by the scholarship-.

The day goes by without any incidents or other mentions of the fight. It's like things are back to normal, just the way it happened when you had your fight about Dean all those years ago. You remain looking around, and once you're done doing so, it's still early afternoon. You still haven't figured out your studies, if anything, you're even more confused. Sam must realize your dismay because he convinces you to go to the movies. You know him well enough to know that he's trying to make you feel better.

At the movie theater, there's nothing relevant to watch. It doesn't matter, you're just glad you get to spend it with your best friend, like in the old days. You buy the popcorn, and Sam buys the tickets, you choose a movie and Sam complains about it. Or, at least, he pretends to. It's the way things have been ever since you were little kids. It feels good to be back into old routines after those first weeks in university. Before it used to be Sam and you against the world, college was threatening that stability.

When you call it a night, Sam walks you to your dormitory in without objections. The night is chilly, and you forgot to bring a sweater. Not that is a problem with Sam as a best friend. You snuggle closer to the jacket that he has let you borrow, breathing in the scent that is so characteristic of him. It makes you feel warm and loved, it makes you feel at home. One part of you wants to keep it and not give it back, but that's not what friends do, is it?

Once the door of your building comes into view, he smiles down at you and gently murmurs good night. The softness of his eyes lingers on your mind a while longer than it's supposed to, and, for some reason, your heart skips a beat. Your subconscious is trying to tell you something that you don't want to acknowledge. Something about the way Sam lingers by the door, expectant. It must be nothing, you rationalize and instead, you give Sam a big hug. He returns it eagerly and laughs when you growl something about still having homework to do. Finally, you say goodbye to each other with lighter hearts. Of course a silly fight cannot cause a rift in your friendship, or so you thought that night.