Unwanted (Sam Winchester)

12

You could have called your mother for advice, or maybe a friend, like Charlie. You really don't know what possessed you to ring Mary Winchester. Sure, she's been sort of like a mother to you ever since you can remember, but she's also Sam's mother. A normal person would've been embarrassed to expose themselves like that to someone so close to the cause of their distress. However, these aren't normal circumstances, and you've always had a good relationship with Mary. Besides, she gives better romantic advice than your mother.

It's late at night when you call her. You would have waited for the next day, but you don't seem to be able to sleep since the conversation with Sam. After he bared his feelings for you, you remained quiet for the rest of the meal. It had nothing to do with the fact that you don't feel the same way, but more of the fact that you weren't sure exactly what your heart wants. It's a mess, honestly, because, despite the fact that Sam didn't push for a response, the remaining outing was filled with tension. Expectancy for the response downed the atmosphere but also opened new possibilities.

"I'm sorry to bother you this late, Mary." On the other side of the line, the woman yawns, and you feel even more guilty.

"Don't worry, sweetheart, what is it?" You are outside your dorm, the last thing you need is your roommate listening everything. The weather is chilly today, but there are more important things to address, so you barely notice.

"I wanted to talk to you about something... see what you think." Mary merely waits for you to say what's on your mind. It takes you about five complete seconds in silence to gather the necessary courage to tell her what happened with Sam.

Of course, you don't say that it was her son who confessed his feelings to you. You mask it by saying that it was someone else, another friend. Despite the fact that you're close with Mary Winchester, you don't want her to know that her son declared his love for you. It isn't a rare occurrence for you to ask her for advice on love matters, so you believe she doesn't suspect a thing.

"I see," she answers once you finish recounting all the events. You tried to give her a complete picture without hinting who you're talking about. "From what you've told me, this friend of yours really cares about you, no?" She doesn't wait for you to answer, "I believe that, if you didn't really feel at least slightly interested in him, you would know. When you're just friends with someone, it's very difficult to really see yourself with them. And since you're thinking too deeply about this matter, I would say that you deserve a chance to explore your feelings for him. No, I'm not saying that you love him romantically, but I think there's definitely a spark that you might want to pursue."

For a moment, you remain quiet on the line. When you answer, it's only to thank Mary and wish her a good night. She doesn't protest, for she knows you have a lot to ponder over. You don't really have much sleep at night. It seems more important to you to clear out your feelings than go to bed. You think about it all night and when you reach your conclusion it's so eminent that you wonder what why you didn't notice before. It's true that Sam is your best friend and that thinking about having something with him feels odd. But there is also the fact that because he is your best friend, you have a special connection with him. Surely, if soulmates come in all kinds of forms, you're pretty sure Sam Winchester is your soulmate. Then why couldn't he be your romantic partner? Is it too drastic to give yourself a chance to fall in love with him as a man? Do you already love him? All these things in your mind make it impossible for you to rest, though it is worth it because when dawn comes, you're eager to share your findings.

You meet him at the café you always frequent. You arrive early, normally, Sam would be the one to get to your meetings first, but this time that is not the case. It's probably due to the fact that you haven't been able to rest with the conversation that you're about to have. Truthfully, it's bound to be life-changing. Although, by Sam's bags under his eyes, can you guess that he probably didn't get much sleep either.

As he walks in, he avoids looking you in the eyes for as long as he can until he's sitting in front of you. And even then, she looks away almost instantly. His words ring in your head, and you're pretty sure in his is as well. The confession feels distant, yet the feeling in your stomach says otherwise.

"How are you?" You're trying to avoid the elephant in the room as much as you can.

He doesn't allow it, though, "I've been thinking about yesterday." He left shortly after confessing his feelings, So you didn't get a chance to talk it through. Hi, I meant what I said, even if that probably wasn't the right way to say it.

"It took me by surprise," you immediately confess. "I thought about what you said, and I believe I have an answer for you." Sam can't wait, he's almost holding his breath. "You're my best friend, and I love you too... but I've never pictured us as something other than friends." Sam's face falls instantly at your words. "Still, I've been having these feelings lately, thinking about things I shouldn't, jealousy..." Before he can ask about it, you continue. "I'm not sure about what has changed, but I know something has, for you and for me. So, if it's okay with you, I'd love to see where this goes."

The corner of Sam's hazel eyes wrinkles when he smiles. His dimple, for the first time since you've been friends, makes you blush. "I'd love that too."

...

You frown, looking at the paper in your hand like it has committed a great crime. In front of you, a chemistry book remains open. It's been two years since you were accepted, and you still don't get college midterm evaluations.

"I think we should call it a day," Sam says. You're in the library, wrapping up schoolwork. Typically, you would be the one to pester him about finishing your study sessions, but this time he's been having some issues with his history assignments. Truth be told, he's ready to go to the Chinese restaurant like you planned. You frown one more time at your unfinished homework before giving in to freedom.

"Fine, but you have to get me my favorite noodles." He merely smiles at your childish response. Since the day he confessed his feelings for you, you've been in a steady relationship, both parties wholly smitten with the other.

It's true that you have had your ups and downs, though, for the most part, you've managed to solve anything serious. At first, you were a little skeptical to believe that your relationship could actually work. Not because you couldn't love each other that way, but because you believed it was going to be quite a change in comparison with only being friends. Still, you decided to give each other a chance, and right now you believe that was the best thing you could've ever done.

Finding the path for your relationship wasn't easy, and it didn't happen from one day to the other. It took time and effort to get to the place that you are right now, yet you wouldn't have it any other way. As of right now, you cannot seem to think of a life without Sam Winchester. Not only as your friend but as your boyfriend.

Nevertheless, your relationship status isn't the only thing that has evolved. After a lot of consideration, you decided to talk about what happened to you with Mr. Robinson to the Dean. Eventually, other people decided to speak up as well, and the truth was brought to light, you weren't the only girl he had tried to sleep with. He was fired from the position shortly after.

"Ready?" San asks, his hand extended to you, waiting for you to hold him.

You finish packing your backpack and intertwine your fingers with his. "Ready." He smiles at you lovingly. If someone had told you that you'd end up with Sam Winchester, you'd laughed. Now you understand that there's no better person for you.