All Along, You

XXV - CONFUSING FATES

Pete stares at Kinn. Him and his forehead, eyebrows, eyes, the totality of his face, and the calmness of his expression. Pete wonders if he's asleep, wonders if he's afraid to, just in case Pete leaves. He wonders if Kinn realizes Pete doesn't deserve him at all.

Pete sighs. He's been doing that a lot lately. He's never been so confused. One day he feels confident that he has a good grasp of his life and that he deserves to be happy, the next day he feels---well...like this.

Pete doesn't know where he stands. He doesn't even know how he feels about himself. This was not how he wanted to go about his life after everything that had broken him. He wanted to get away with Venice and his grandma. He just wanted to get out of there but then...but then he realized Korn might hurt him and so he thought it was a good idea to work for him again. If he ran away, there was no guarantee he would be spared for longer than a week knowing Korn's paranoia and greed. So he could at least be updated as to what was happening in the organization while he protected himself and his loved ones. It was a difficult situation but he believed he got it all under control, but then, Kinn happened. Despite all the alarms in his head, he dived in, gave in, and now what? Now it's hard to escape. No, not escape, it now became hard to leave Kinn. He must have lost his mind. Kinn would have found someone else if he did not accept, and that would have been it but no, he just had to be in a relationship with him. And worse, minus the problems with Korn, and whatever it is that Pete KNOWS the old man is scheming, he doesn't regret being with Kinn at all.

He caressed Kinn's cheek lightly as he wondered what the fuck Kinn even saw in him. Is it their shared loneliness, is it the similarity in the situation back then, with both of them being left by their partners---

Pete's train of thought stopped as he saw Kinn open his eyes and then pull his hand to his lips to kiss it. Pete should pull away, but he can't.

"What are you thinking about?" Kinn asks.

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Kinn knew Pete couldn't sleep. His continuous sighs is one of the biggest clues.

Pete needed to rest, he knew but he felt like he needed this little amount of privacy to somehow be alone with his thoughts, so Kinn doesn't interfere. He wonders if Pete would leave again. Would he try to get out of the room again, or go upstairs? Would it be wise to talk to him instead of trying to guess?

Kinn stops his overthinking as he felt Pete's hand on his cheek. He suddenly couldn't help it. He pulls Pete's hand to his lips earning him a sharp gasp from the other.

Kinn opens his eyes and as he adjusts to the darkness of the room, he sees Pete chewing on his lower lip.

"What are you thinking about?"

Pete takes a moment before he replies.

"I miss Venice. I'm supposed to see him at my apartment tomorrow but I'm kind of stuck in this hospital bed." Pete says and Kinn feels like the answer was only partly true. Pete must be thinking about something else he's not ready to tell Kinn yet.

"Ah, well. His Papa's not feeling well yet. I'm not sure he'll understand" Kinn says

"Yes he will, Venice is pretty understanding after all." Pete sighs, a bit annoyed, Kinn could tell.

"I wasn't talking about Venice. I'm talking about his Papa who couldn't wait to get out of the hospital to see him." Kinn feels more than sees Pete pouting

"I really do miss him, Kinn. If you had a kid, you'd understand what I---"

"I was just teasing you. I miss Venice too. I'm basically his dad, too, thank you very much. If your sister decided she really wanted a couple to adopt Venice, I would have been your registered partner, you know!" Kinn accused and Pete finally laughed.