All Along, You

VII- Double Over

This chapter is long. Still, I hope you like it!

-Juwee

Continuation on Kinn's thoughts/recollection of events per chapter

Kinn's POV:

III-HIDDEN

"Hi, Porsche." I walk over to him and he looked so shocked as he stepped backwards.

"Don't worry. I won't take up so much of your time. I just wanted to talk. Just five minutes and I'll leave you alone." I look at Vegas who was standing beside him.

Vegas smirks and I smile at him.

"I even brought Pete along with me just in case you wanted to end things amicably with him as well." I tell him and for a brief moment, the calm that settled on his face disappeared.

"Is he alone?" Vegas asked and when I nodded, he immediately stood up, not even asking where Pete was. I should have been more careful but then, I was too distracted by Porsche. When we were alone, I leaned comfortably on the chair while he obviously tensed up.

"Can I have my mom's watch back?" I see he was wearing it. Porsche touched his wrist that was wearing the watch.

"Kinn" I just nodded at him. "Kinn, I'm sorry. I just. I just need---" Porsche was trailing off and I could tell he was looking for some sort of excuse for what he's done.

I was always desperate for him to stay that I blindly trusted him. I had vowed to do that after I had caught him with Vegas. It turned out be a setup. At least according to Porsche. I may want to believe it wasn't, otherwise, I'd think Porsche is an absolute idiot for trusting Vegas. The one who drugged him, probably attempted to rape him, and take advantage of him while he was drunk. All so he could ruin me but if Porsche trusts him more than he does me, that probably means I was never the one for him despite my fantasies.

After a while, Porsche handed me the watch. In essence, I guess he was saying goodbye and this was all the closure I needed. I readily accepted.

"I just wonder, Porsche, why was it an option to go without warning? Is it because I was too harsh that you wanted to escape?" I ask. He doesn't say anything.

"I guess I was." I say

"Kinn, wait. It's not you. The problem liles within me. I'm sorry, Kinn." He said and somehow, the load in my chest became lighter. I nod at him.

"Maybe, but I think that's because you're still trying to figure out what you want to do, and you can take as long as you like..." I said and Porsche's eyes look at me with surprise but I had to cut off all the thoughts in his mind that would lead to me looking gullible.

"...as long as you don't cross paths with me again. From now on, I'll never voluntarily see you. I want you to have a good life, Porsche"

I wait for him to come up with something but he had nothing to say. He sighed continuously. I guess I was going too fast when I fell in love with him. I want to say I know him like the back of my hand like some couples do but I don't. I do not know what those eyes mean to say, what his weary smile was saying, and what his voice was projecting. I could only analyze Porsche as much as I can analyze a stranger. All these years has been a honeymoon period for us. When I ask him, he can't even come up with reasons but then, silence can be the loudest answer you could get from someone.

I do admit that I am a hopeless romantic and I give my all when I fall in love but that's the good thing about it. Whenever my love ends, I almost everytime end up with minimal regrets although I end up traumatized. I hope Pete could say the same.