Broken crayons (RusAme)

The not so good old days

Russia POV

'Stop it Russia, people care about you!' I internally scolded myself. These kinds of intrusive thoughts have become really common for me lately and I hated it. I did wish I could see my family again though, but suicide is the last option. Stupid intrusive thoughts.

"Rus! Food's ready!" Called Ukraine and I got up and exited the room. We sat and ate in silence until Ukraine noticed I looked gloomy. Well, gloomier than usual.

"What's wrong?" She asked me and I muttered something she couldn't hear. "What did you say?"

"I said it's nothing." I repeated in a tone she could hear. I knew she didn't believe me but she decided to drop it.

What's that? *le gasp* a time skip?

A couple days later we were going to a trip to some old mansion or whatever. I didn't really like these tours, but I was pretty much forced to go. Ukraine was sick so she couldn't come, but at least I have Ame to talk to.

The few classes who came were stuffed in a bus all together and as the ride started our tour guide introduced themselves. "Hello there, students. My name's Egypt and I'll be your tour guide for today." She said.

"You must be wondering where you are going to, so I'm here to tell you all about it!" She continued.

"We are going together to a mansion whose walls are filled with history and also, well, maybe quite a bit blood. You see, this mansion was built centuries ago for containing slaves and hostages. Not all history there was great, true, but it is still fascinating these days now that enslavement is out of law and barely exists." She finished.

To be honest I didn't really listen about all what she said next. She mostly just talked about some kinds of enslavement and torture. Well, I've been through these things, I'm sure I don't need to listen to that so I just zoned out until we arrived at the huge black mansion.

"This place seems familiar..." I muttered so quietly nobody could hear me.

We walked a bit as Egypt continued to talk. I somehow felt like I knew the place, but I couldn't figure out this feeling.

Suddenly I stepped inside and it hit me.

This is where it happened. All those five years.

Nobody POV 

Russia almost tripped over when he realized. Luckily America caught him with a worried face.

"Russia? What happened?" He asked but his questions were muffled in the Russians' ears. As America held him Russia started trembling and mumbling things the American couldn't understand.

"не останавливайся... (no... stop...)"

"пожалуйста... (please...)"

"все будет хорошо... я защищу тебя... (it will be okay... I will protect you...)"

He kept mumbling in Russian as America tried to help him. After a couple moments America noticed he was crying. "Russia? Russia! Talk to me! What happened?" He exclaimed worriedly.

Eventually he understood it was something about this place, and asked one of the escorting teachers to take him outside. The teacher looked a bit confused but nodded after seeing Russias' condition.

America rushed outside, leading Russia by his hand. He stopped and sat the crying Russian down at a tree and sat in front of him.

"Russia? Please look at me. What happened?" He asked again but no sound was heard from the other male except sobs. 

America put his hand on Russias' wrist as he tried to comfort him. Russia flinched and took his hand back and hugged his legs to his chest. "Sorry..." murmured America with a worried face.

"Are you okay?" He asked and this time Russia actually answered.

"Do I fucking look okay?!" He exclaimed through sobs, then buried his head in his knees.

'Okay, that was such a stupid question Ame. Sure he's okay, he's literally crying!' The American scolded himself.

"Please Russia, tell me what happened so I can help!" He said.

"You can't help! Nothing you will do or say will help!" Exclaimed Russia, then he froze and looked the American in the eyes. "This is where it happened. All of it." He said coldly.

America looked confused for a moment, the when he understood his eyes widened in shock. "No... it can't be!" He muttered. "Oh it can. I think life is having fun torturing me." Murmured the Russian.

{A/N: no Russia, it isn't life it is me. And yes I'm having fun torturing you. :)}

"I just want to end this already, I'm so tired..." he whispered. Then, even more quietly he said:

"Maybe suicide is a good idea..." 

Even though it was barely audible, America could hear it and his mouth opened in shock, not believing his boyfriend would say that. He quickly calmed himself and tried to change Russias' mind.

"Y'know it says that they keep the deepest place in hell for those who commit suicide. I don't want you there. Nobody does." He said bitterly.

Russia smiled sadly. "At least nobody will call me a monster there! At least they will understand me like nobody else!" He chuckled.

"Please, Russia. Don't say that. You know I love you." America whispered and came closer to hug Russia but he flinched again.

"I'm just trying to help you, please, just listen." He said softly.

"Listen to what? What do you have to say that will make it better? What do you have to say that I'll hear better than their screams?" Asked Russia in the coldest tone America has ever heard.

"Do you want me to help or not?!" Exclaimed America. "Please, just let me help." He said, softening his tone.

Russia sighed. "How are you going to help?" He asked.

America leaned closer to him and their lips touched in a warm embrace. Russias' eyes widened with shock and his face flushed with red tint but he didn't flinch this time. He took a moment and closed his eyes as well, hugging the others' waist.

They both were silent after they parted.

"Did that help?" Asked America with a smile, facing the shocked Russian.

Russias' expression softened and he smiled. The prettiest, sunny smile America had ever seen from him.

"Yes."

~the end~

{A/N: yep you read it right. It's the end. 

But don't worry I'm going to write a new story of some extra stuff. It's gonna be extra scenes, character and ship theme songs, some fun facts and Q&As. Hope to see y'all there!}

Words: 1031