Anime Oneshots

3 ~Kuroken~

Fluff 

Autism

~Kenma's POV~

I'm Kenma and im autistic. People call it autism or on the spectrum but I just say I'm autistic. I'm on the mild end of the spectrum. For that reason im unmedicated. I don't have so much difficulty in my day to day life to the point where its pretty much ruining it. It was at one point but therapy and coping skills were enough to live a decent life. Still its not like I'm cured. Autism isn't a thing to be cured. So I still struggle from time to time. 

Like with my sensory sensitivity. As the name suggest I'm more sensitive in all of my five senses than the average person. So if its too loud I break down. If i'm touched when I don't want to be I break down. When theres and over powering smell and I don't enjoy it I break down. You get the idea. The biggest problem for me is touch. I can barely touch people at all. not even people I trust with my whole life.

Occasionally I can hug my parents a little when I'm in a good mood because my love language is touch. So its hard for me to show love. which leads me to my current dilemma. Kuroo confessed to me a few days ago. Of course i was over the moon considering I've had a crush on his for forever. He's over at my house right now. We've been watching cheesy romance movies, joking around, chatting and what not. In all honestly, I was staring at his hand the whole time. 

All I could think about was touching him. But it scared me. What if I broke down if I tried? What if kuroo didn't like me anymore? No that couldn't possibly happen. We've known each other for nearly a decade. He hasn't gone anywhere since I was 7 I decided to ask him about hand holding to see how we could make it happen without scaring the actual shit our of me. 

"kuroo?" I said. "yes kitten?" he responded. I blushed. he paused the movie and turned his whole body to me to signal that he was giving me his full attention. "Uhm I want to hold your hand but Im kind of scared to try. I don't want to get overstimulated."  he laughed a little. "Oh kenma you don't have to do that. you should do what you're comfortable with." I hesitated before responding. "but I want to hold your hand and show you that I love you." he smiled at me sweetly. 

"thats really sweet kitten. If you really want to try would it be ok if i held your hand first? You can pull away if you start to get uncomfortable Ill understand." I looked up at him pondering his idea. "do you think you can trust me?" he said. something about the way he said it or just the fact he said it suddenly made me trust him comepletly. Like if he grabbed my hand right now I would let him.  I knew kuroo cared about me and he would never get upset over me having a bad moment.

I decided to go for it. "mhm. I trust you.." he smiled and held out his hand for me to grab. I held out mine as well. I slowly started to hover my hand over his. I looked at him once more. "Its ok take your time. Im not going anywhere." he smiled at me. I grabbed it just then. I flinched a little at first. But then I adjusted. 

It felt nice. Really nice. This was amazing. I loved the warmth of kuroos hand in mine. I could feel kuroo starting to interlock our fingers. I returned the gesture. My face lit up. We're holding hands. My new boyfriend and I are holding hands. I smiled widely and laughed. I was so happy. He laughed with me. Through my smile I continued to talk. "Kuroo were holding hands!" He chuckled. "yeah we are. Im proud of you." I looked up at him confused. "Hm? what do you mean?" 

"well I know you have a hard time with touch and Im proud of you for stepping out of your comfort zone for me." I smiled once again. "Or course I wanna go out of my comfort zone because I love you." That slipped out. I looked away still smiling. "I love you too kenma. I love you so much." We both couldn't stop smiling. We were both incredibly happy. "do you think you can do a little more than holding hands?" he asked carefully. I nodded enthusiactically. "look look I can hug you. Let me show you come here." 

I started unmasking now. This shows im getting incredibly comfortable with kuroo. "hah okay." he scooted closer to me while I had my arms out. I wrapped my arms around him while I rested my head on his shoulder. He seemed more surprised than me. he hugged me back. I heard him chuckle with happiness. "I'm so happy with you kuroo." I said. he responded. "Im happier." I just kept giggling and smiling on his shoulder. 

after awhile longer of watching whatever we wanted and cuddling, we both got tired. "Hey kitten are you tired at all?" he asked. I was laying in his arms half asleep. I struggled to answer due to how tired I was. he was very easily able to read me though. he carried me to my bed and set me down. he pulled the covers over me as I smiled with my eyes closed. he was so sweet. he layed next to me and asked. 

"Is it ok If I hold you?" I got a little flustered at the question. I nodded softly. he smiled and wrapped his arms around me like he was protecting me. I'm really glad I got over my fear of touch. well with kuroo at least. Now I can experience amazing things like this with my boyfriend. 

A/N AYYY CHAPTER 3 FINISHED. I love kuroken with all my heart they are my life and comfort. I definitely based kenma off myself. right now if I were to be in a relationship I would worry over weather or not I would be able to show them any love through touch. ANYWAYS HAVE A GOOD DAY/NIGHT/SPOOKY SEASON!!!! STAY SAFE <33333

-Jay The Genderfluid Author

Word count: 1069