2 Seconds •LT•

XI

"A pretty face doesn't mean a pretty heart"

21 September, 2015

Everyday is a new day. Everyday I'd like to believe we all have a clean slate. Forget the vile comments we said yesterday, ignore the consequences of yesterday's sins. Today is today and no other day, so don't go around living the other days.

Once again, that's what I'd like to believe. Not everyone agrees. Those who still hold yesterday's grudges sure as hell won't agree. But then again, they must have a good reason. Today I found a good reason to hold a grudge.

In the morning, before school had started, Colette had handed me my copy of the cast, then walked away after numbly saying, "Don't worry, Belle's on it" .

I held the yellow printed sheet of paper, guiding my finger to... Odile.

Odile.
Odile.
Odile.
Found it.

Odile............................ Porter, Stephanie

I was baffled.
Hadn't I agreed this.
No wonder Colette left zipped lipped.
But.
Where was Belle?

Odile Understudy................Carver, Belle

F*cking Colette found a loophole.
My mind bounced back to Belle. How was she going to react when she learned that she hadn't exactly gotten Odile?

F*ck...

What was I going to do?
Wait.

Come to think of it, I didn't see Stephanie audition, or even show for that case. How the hell did Stephanie get the role?!

I was distraught the entire day. I was extremely jittery when even in proximity of Belle as we were in "Partner Work". "Hey, you okay Louis?" Belle rubbed the inside of her forearm. As if I were making her nervous. My anxiety was most likely rubbing off in her. I'd learn it wasn't because of me.
"You seem kinda... Jumpy Lou" Belle asked concerned.

Lou. Lou. Lou. My heart radiated inside my chest. She nicknamed me! Belle Carver nicknamed me. I halted my restless leg and melted into her words. "N-No, I'm fine. You don't have to worry Bab- Beau- Belle. Belle" I reassured myself.

She heard my slip up. She hid her mouth behind her sleeves as if she were to rest her chin on her palms. Belle's cheeks altered to Rose Red. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry" was all my lips would release.

"I- It's alright" She shook her head & gripped onto her pencil, letting it stabilize her. Her lips were plump. I licked my lips. She must have bit them hard to get red as strawberries.
Did I really rattle her up that far?

No, no no no. Stop. She doesn't think of you in that way. No matter how bad you'd like her to.

Damn. I'm to blame for my pain. For letting myself love her too much. For getting too close to her. I crossed the border of caution. All in the name of "What if" love.

I officially screwed myself over.
"Hey" she whispered, tapping on the back of my palm with the tips of her fingers. I instinctively grabbed her fingertips. Not firm enough to harm her. How odd, Belle didn't pull away.
My ears were open for any words to exit her plump Rose lips. "I know I'm a student. And you probably shouldn't be telling you this. But. Do you know if I got the role?"

Her eyebrows were raised.

Her look was attentive.
Her eyes were hopeful.
Her lips were plump Red...

I didn't have the heart to wreck her and bury her in disappointment.

All it took was 2 seconds. All it would take were 2 Seconds...
1 second to process.
The 2nd to come up with a credible lie.

You have to think swiftly.

"Yeah. Yeah. You got the role Belle"

"Really?!"

1 second. A truth.
"No one was better than you. By far"

"You're kidding me!"

"I am not kidding you. In my eyes, you're the best I've ever laid eyes on!"

Her hazel eyes lit up.

The lie was too late to take back at that point.

| Hey, this takes place 2 years in the future for those puzzled.\

7 October, 2017

I'm sorry I lied to you Belle. I'm truly sorry I had.

I didn't mean it.

I did. But it had been for your safety.

"Louis? Hey, Louis? Open the door please" pleaded your muffled voice. But I couldn't. I couldn't.

You were knocking at the door of the employ's loo. You truly sympathized me. You truly did.

I did horror to you.

I ruined your innocence. Your purity. And you act like it never happened in the first place.

Because, to you, it didn't.

And now I look like a stupid fool.

"It even happened to me. They do it to all the newbies on their first day, just please, come out again"

A fool for keeping shelter inside the loo instead of going out there and laughing like a good sport over a traumatic prank.

And now I'm crying. Crying Belle. Because I don't. I don't want to go back out there.

I already mortified myself out there. I'd be fine with it. But you were there. I shamed myself in front of you. And believe me or not, but I prefer getting pranked a dozen more times than for you to see me in this condition.

"I promise. It was a joke. They won't do it again. They're sorry"

No one ever is.

" Let me in. I'll help you get cleaned up"

I tried speaking, "I'm all right" but I just croaked.

"I'm sorry Louis!"

You're not supposed to be the sorry one.

"Please, I plead of you. They didn't know about... That"

Your voice pleading for me.

For me to step out.

I hadn't heard your lips speak my name that way since I was dragged apart from you.

I wonder. If you would whisper my name at night as you cooed yourself to sleep before you.. Forgot.

I've whispered your name every single morning, every single night. It's a habit others frown on. They try not to tell me how to live my life, but, they can't help it when I would never get another chance with you. In life, you only get one wish. I wished to be the one you thought of every night as you would lay by me. But I wasn't careful when wishing. I could have kept you if I had learned how to wish properly.

"Let me in" you whisper.

Let me in.

Let me in.

So I open the door.