Too Late To Realise

Why do I even feel this way ?

Aman's Pov
I had to hold back my smile and happiness when she sat next to me and damn this girl was clumsy asf as always! I hated the fact that she ignored me and still ignores me but even I gave up easily do I cant blame her. And that bitch obviously had manipulated her to do so.
While Amayra looked like she was sitting in hell the whole time I was smiling inside. I know she must have given a thousands of curse words to me untill now but thats ok for what I did its justifiable. But I just want us to. Be normal again like we were before this tension is killing me. She is still as special as always.
I wanted to protect her and take cre of her but she wouldn't let me do so. She had lost trust in me. But still I could see the innocence in her eyes whenever I got a chance to seek a glance in them. Amayra had this effect on me whenever she was around I wouldn't think of anything else but her. But thanks to my stupidity I fucked it all up.
The day Amayra started avoiding me I felt like she would talk to me if I kept trying but after a week When I was about to go meet her at her home Mia stopped me. She told me that Amayra didn't want to talk to ms because Sam told her not to. I don't know how maybe it was ths anger and jealousy that took over my brain I just started ignoring one of the most important person in my life. Sam always says she doesnt want to talk to me but I just cant resist the urge to do so.
After the school bell rang Amayra vanished in thin air and I missed the chance to go and sort it all out. After roaming around and reaching home I saw Sam and Amayra driving towards the beach. I didn't wanna spoil there date but it was very important so I freshened up and left my home after sometime to atleast give them some time alone. But when I reached the seashore my heart shattered into millions of pieces.
It was a beautiful sunset and they both were kissing standing right in front of it soo musch like a movie seen. I knew they were dating but I didn't expect to see this. And why the fuck am I even affected by that. It isn't like they didn't tell me that they were dating. And people kiss if they date its normal But why did I get annoyed seeing it? I just could not talk to anyone in that level of aggression so I just rode off and gave myself some peace in our vacation home at the near by hills. It was all me and my stupid mind which couldn't figure out what is wrong but then my phone rang up and it was none other than
Sam. He was Fucking torturing me by sharing hoe it was his first kiss with Amayra and Amayra's first kiss ever and hearing all this my blood just heated up more and more in rage.
And I just hung up the call. Its o fucking irritating. Why am I being angry its her life and well whats wrong in kissing her bf? Why do I feel betrayed? Damn I need some space out of this shit.
I needed to figure out what I felt. This was something totally new for me Tho. As I have always been so clear about all my feelings and decisions. Why did this feel so hard? What had happened to me ?
I have always looked towards Amayra as a friend and we has a Very close bond but this feeling was something totally different. It felt like she had betrayed me or I had lost something extremely precious. Why do I even feel this way ?
I drank tok much that night and called Sam. He must have figured it out that I was drunk asf hence he came over at the vacation home. I was so fucking drunk I cant even remember what I said oe what I did all I know is I sat on the couch while Sam was roamed around in the room. I woke ul with the worst hangover on Sunday and no matter how much I asked Sam what did I do lr what did I say the man just kept saying
''Nah u said Nothing and did shit its not intresting at all''
I clearly knew that he was hiding something but he just wont tell me so I let it go. The weekend was soo damn messed up and do was the week.
After the weekend I was still not able to figure out why I was so sad and angry at the same time after seeing Amayra kiss Sam. I didnt want kt to get all out on Amayra so I just avoided talking her or interacting with her as I know if I do it will all just pour out. I was trying to keep my calm but then...