Secrets | Minsung

09 | The Night

Jisung's:

The morning went very well. May be because I saw and talked with Minho hyung or the cheesecake I ate earlier, I don't know. Our friends keep on teasing us on lunch. The rumor that Minho hyung and I were boyfriends confirmed by another rumor– well, not total rumor. Someone just saw us on the school parking lot and made a conclusion. Minho hyung and I just shrugged it even though I'm always getting flattered everytime someone brought the topic up. Other than that, it went very well until... Chan hyung talked with me after lunch.

"Please, Ji. Just this one, for me and mom?" Chan hyung said with pleading eyes.

I sighed.

"Welcome back, young master Jisung." Butler Hoseok greeted as I entered the mansion.

I supposed to be here 2 days ago but I didn't come. I just feel don't like it but this time, Chan hyung used mom to convince me so here I am.

"Stop it, I just came here for my brother and mom." I said to him and gave him a small smile.

He just nodded and walk me to the dinning area. I saw my father sitting on the end of the table, middle of my mom and Chan-hyung.

"Hey, Ji! Come." Chan hyung greeted me and signaled to sit besides him.

"Hey." I greeted back.

My mom stood up and hugged me.

"Oh my baby, how are you?" She asked when he let go of me and cups my cheek.

"I'm fine, mom." I said and gave him a small smile.

"You're staying here again, right?" She asked with so much hope in her eyes.

I hate to disappoint her but I can't stay here– I just can't so I shook my head as response and didn't remove the smile i have on my face.

'I'm sorry, mom.' I said in my mind when I saw sadness in her eyes.

We divert our gaze as we heard someone clear his throat.

"Let's eat." My father said and called Butler Hoseok.

Butler Hoseok nodded and clasps his hands. The maids came with different dishes in their hands and put it on the table. My mom and I sat on the right side of my father. I looked at Chan hyung and gave him apologetic look for not sitting besides him 'cause I know mom wants me to be on her side so I'll give it to her even just tonight. Chan hyung just shook his head and mouthed 'It's okay'.

Dinner started quietly. No one even dared to talk until my father clear his throat again to take our attention to him. We look at him, waiting to what he want to say while he drunk his water and wipe his lips carefully with table napkins.

"How long are you going to be this stubborn?" He asked without looking any of us but we all know that question is for me.

I'm the only one who's stubborn in this family so there's no way that question is for mom nor Chan hyung. I just shrugged and ate my food calmly. I don't want to ruin the night, especially not infront of mom.

"How ungrateful child. We raised you, gave you all what you need then this is what you pay for us?" He asked obviously angry in his voice.

"Honey," mom called him softly to stop him.

"I didn't come here to pay depth or do anything with you." I said nonchalantly.

"Ji..." Chan hyung and mom called me.

I look at my brother then to mom, I saw worries in their eyes. So I decided to leave.

"Thanks for invitation." I said and stood up.

"Han Jisung!" My father called me. "Are you really going to disobey me and continue to be a faggot?"

"It's not like I chose to be this way–"

"Then come back here, we'll send you to–"

"I'm not sick, father!" I cut his words by yelling at him. "I'm not sick. I don't need any treatment. Stop it."

"You're not sick? But you're acting like one!" He stood up and point at me.

"This is me! Why can't you just accept–"

"No! It's not you! I told you I didn't raise you to be like that!"

"It's not how it works–"

"It is! So stop it, come back here and let us send you to U.S!"

"I TOLD YOU I'M NOT SICK!" I yelled angrily and walk out.

"Mom!" I heard Chan hyung called.

I stopped and look back. I saw mom resting her back at the backrest of the chair while holding her chest. She's now crying and breathing heavily. Chan hyung and my father was at her side while Butler Hoseok called the ambulance. I ran back and tried to hold mom but my father pushed me.

"This is all your fault!" He said angrily.

"Dad!" Chan hyung stopped him.

I walk backward while looking at my mom who were suffering from chest pain.

"You see what you did? You're causing this mess!" My father said.

He was right. This is all my fault.

"If you're just listening to me–"

"DAD, JUST STOP IT!" Chan hyung yelled.

"No, Chan! This brother of yours need to know what his fault to this family!" My father said angrily and looked at me again. "Whatever happens tonight, will be all your fault." He said again and carried mom as we heard sirens.

I runaway. I heard Chan hyung called me but I ignore it. I run and run and run until I don't know... I just found myself panting and broke down.

My mom...

What would I do if I lost her?

She's been too persistent to make me stay again with them on the mansion but I keep on declining her because I'm trying to stand by myself.

But...

What do I take from this? Freedom? I didn't get it even though I'm now out from the mansion. Happiness? I don't feel it at all. So what did I take from doing this? Hell.

My father was right. Whatever happens tonight will be all my fault. This is all my fault.

I sat down and hugged my knees while keep on sobbing. I let my tears falls down and my thoughts run.

I feel terrible.

Thankfully the place was empty. It was a park near the Village were my parents lived. I remember my mom, Chan hyung and I used to come and play here. It was happy memories of us but look at now, I'm crying while remembering it.

"Han..."

I looked up when I heard someone's voice infront of me. My heart pounding hard and fast as I identified the presence.

Even in the darkest time, fate would still bring me to you... "Hyung"