Secrets | Minsung

18 | Pain and Touch

Jisung's:

It's been two weeks when I talked to Minho. He keeps on avoiding me. He may cook dinner for me but I just eat it alone– that made me feel bad more. All he did was to take care of me even in a smallest way he know but I just...

All you know is to hurt people. You're a bad luck. Worthless. Unlovable. Useless. Pathetic. Stupid. Asshole.

My eyes opened when I felt something covered on my body and I saw a comforter on it. I looked up immediately who were holding it.

"I'm sorry." He said and was about to leave but I hold his hand.

"Minho hyung..."

I can't do this anymore.

"I-I..."

I may  just hurt him again. Stop it, Jisung. Stop it. No one will love me. I hurt them already. They won't forgive me. I'm a burden. All I did is upset Minho hyung and break him. You're horrible, Jisung. Genuinely terrible person. Don't try to fix it, you will just break him again.

"Han..." He sat beside of my legs and look into my eyes. "Breathe." He said.

I tried but I can't. My tears can't just stop and I can't breathe properly.

"Shh... can you takes some breath with me?" He said and start to breathe slowly with me. "That's right, Hannie. You're doing great." He complimented. "I'll just get your medicine–"

"No! Don't leave me!" I yelled.

He immediately hug me. "Shh... I won't leave you. Everything will be fine okay? That's right... Calm down and breath, hm?" He said on my ears and caressing my back.

He keeps on saying sweet and motivational words that helped me to calm down. After minutes, I calmed down so I let go of him and face him.

"I-I'm sorry." I said softly.

"Shh... It's okay." He said and gave me a sweet smile. "You should sleep now."

I shook my head. "For sure, I won't be able to sleep now."

"Hmm... Wanna watch anime with me?" He asked.

I frowned. "Don't you have class tomorrow morning?"

"You have either." He shrugged.

"Touché" I shook my head again.

I figured out his schedule during my stay here. Maybe, he too.

"Which anime?" I asked.

"I planned to watch Tower of God last night. Why not watch it now with you?" He told me.

"Okay!" I said and lay myself down again.

We're on the living room. I was actually watching random shows earlier before I closed my eyes and space out, but the TV was now off. Maybe he thought I was sleeping so he turn it off earlier.

He turned it on again and set the anime series on before he sat beside me. He was on the floor while I'm lying on couch.

"Hyung..."

He hummed, still facing the TV.

"Can I touch your hair?" I asked.

I don't know what's into me right now. I find his hair fluffy and my hands really want to touch it.

"Hmm." He nodded and so I did.

I just keep on playing his hair while watching TV– well, more on times watching his hair contact with my fingers. Its so smooth and fluffy. When did the last time I got to touch it? Yeah, right. Before I left them.