Secrets | Minsung

17 | Answers

Jisung's:

"I need answers." I said, still facing the TV.

I felt his gaze on me. "What answers do you need?"

"What happened when I got disappeared?" I asked and face him.

He smirked. "Can I get answers too?"

"It depends on the questions you will ask."

"Alright." He said and sat properly. "Hmm... Everyone disappeared too."

"What do you mean by that?" I asked.

"Well, Chan go to school not oftenly like he was that made Jeongin worried and distracted from his own study. Seungmin was busy on finding you, same with Hyunjin and Felix. Changbin was taking care of everyone.We even never got a chance to celebrate Chan's graduation. We barely see– oh no, let me correct myself –we never see each other at school since you were missing. It was like everyone got disappeared with you a year ago." He whispered the last sentence and look away from me.

I gulped and breath heavily in silence. I can feel he's still hurt on what happened to them– to us.

"Sorry." All I could say to him and look down to my laps.

He didn't say anything and sighed. I can feel the heavy feelings in the atmosphere between us.

"One time, Chan came in my condo with dozen of alcoholic drinks." He spoke again and I look at him. "While drinking he told me he had fight with your father. He had assumption that your father had to do with your sudden disappearance." He look at me through my eyes. "So tell me, what did your father do to you?"

"Are you implying here that my father kidnap me or something?" I asked.

He shrugged. "Just a hunch."

"Well, maybe? He just made me things that I never wanted." I answered his question.

"Like what? Killing? Is it your work before as a freelancer too?" He asked.

"I killed bad people to survive before because y'know what happened between me and my family before. After I take money from the one who ordered me, I killed them too but now I can't do that. I just take order, kill then no more." I responded.

"But why?" He asked.

"I think that's en–" I sighed and stood up but he reach my hand and hold up.

"Han..." I looked at him. "You still didn't tell me what happened to you too." He said.

"Nothing interesting–"

"Anything about you is interesting so tell me." He beat me with dominance on his voice.

I sigh and sit again.

"After what happened to my mom, I came to my father and join his gang. I went to training for six months and after that doing some my father's orders alone." I told him half-baked truth and look at him again but he was just staring on the floor. "Did I answer your question now?" I asked. "Well, I gotta sleep–"

"How about your brother?" He asked and look up at me. "How about your friends? How about... me?" He whispered the last word, almost his voice gone.

"Minho..."

"You confessed to me that night, I want to be sure about my feelings about you because I found out that I was attracted to the mafia freelancer code named J.One too that was coincidentally it was you too. It was new to me and I wanna work it out but you... You didn't give me a time and just left me hanging. Why? Is it just a joke? heat of the moment? Tell me!" He said with desperation on his voice. Desperate to know the answers.

I felt my heart break as I see in his eyes the anger, sadness, pain, and more that I can't name more because I can't stand to read it more. I hate seeing him like this. I want to ignore it and run away but I couldn't. My own body won't let me, it was like I was froze.

"I guess it was." He said and went to the room.

That's it my knees gave up. I fell on the floor, silently crying.

-

After minutes, I helped myself and went to the rooftop. I need fresh air. I tilt my head and close my eyes while holding on the railings.

Minho has feelings to me too... And to J.One who coincidentally me. If I just didn't leave... maybe I already found hap– no! My mom needed me plus, you're worthless and unlovable person. You deserve this pain, you faggot. You deserve these hates. You deserve to die!

"Yeah, right. I deserve it. I deserve to die." I mumble and sigh.

I open my eyes and look back when I felt someone is approaching and I saw someone I didn't expect.

"Hey," He said and gave me a small smile.

I didn't smile and remained my poker face as he stood up beside me.

"I didn't thought you'd be here." He spoke.

I looked at nowhere. I didn't expect you either. I thought but didn't speak.

"You know... I may don't know what happened to you before and what's happening to you now but let me remind you that you still have me. You're free to come to me anytime." He said.

Felix...

I saw in my peripheral vision that we walk away. I heard the sound of the door of the rooftop opened and closed. I sighed.

"I wish I could..." and cried.